Elysium
by Jasmine 282
Summary: A post finale fic with a slightly different twist. What if Max and Logan had celebrated their anniversary that first night? *COMPLETE*
1. Cat Scratching Up A Tree

**ELYSIUM**

  
Disclaimer: All bow down to the mighty Cameron and Eglee. They own these wonderful characters and I do not.  
  
Author's Note #1: I am a slow writer. VERY SLOW. I have been writing all summer and anxiously been awaiting this day to finally post. No, it has not taken me all of three months to write one part. I have 5 chapters done, and currently stuck beyond belief on chapter 6. Be happy with these not so frequent posts, they are 10 pages each!!  
  
Author's Note #2: When I began writing this story, I had not seen 'Meow'. I had read a transcript, but it's not the same thing, you know? This first chapter is a tweak of Meow. The next chapter continues with post AJBAC.  
  
Dedication: This is for my best friend Jessica, who has been there for me since I started writing fanfiction three years ago. And who has kept me writing this story since day one when I wrote practically all of chapter 1 that day!! MUCHO MUCHO thanks to Skye, my newfound twinkie and beta. I think she helps keep me sane. Additional beta thanks to Aster.  
  
Timeline: Meow - but in my universe.   
  
Elysium: plain of the departed; the dwelling place of virtuous people after death; any place or condition of ideal bliss or complete happiness; paradise.   
  
  
Chapter 1 _Cat Scratching Up a Tree_  
  
"Why don't you do it with someone you're into, like Logan?" Original Cindy asked Max. The two of them sat on an old couch in their apartment. At the moment, Max was seriously in heat. As in hormones. Though it did feel a little warm to her as well. Original Cindy was trying to help her out, although her advice wasn't being taken well.   
  
Max sighed. She stood up and started pacing. Her dark brown curls bounced on her shoulders as she marched back and forth across their small living area. Fanning herself with a newspaper to combat her body's internal heat, she stopped and looked at her roommate.   
  
"We're not-"  
  
"Like that... yeah you've told me before. But girl, I know the two of you are more than friends. I see the way you act around each other. I just don't understand how the two of you don't see it. It's black and white for the rest of us; it's so obvious. Tell me something sugar, have the two of you ever kissed?"   
  
Original Cindy grinned at the sight of her boo so uptight. She didn't know why this was so hard on her. Her body wanted to have sex. Plain and simple. What was so hard to admitting that there was a guy she liked and who liked her back that was freely available for her to kick it with? It would be easier than trying to control the urges her body was giving her.   
  
A small blush crept up in Max's cheeks, and Original Cindy caught it. "Uh-huh. I knew it. Now tell your boo what happened."   
  
"Well... it wasn't really like that." She hesitated. Slowly she walked back to the couch where Original Cindy had sprawled when she had vacated her spot. Cindy sat back up and let her sit down.   
  
"Like what? Was it a kiss or not? Just explain it to me, then we'll go on from there, ok?"   
  
Max nodded and pulled her legs in together. After taking a deep breath she began her story. "It happened in December when all those posters had my face plastered across the city."   
  
"So that was you? I didn't believe it, but now it makes sense. It was those black helicopter bad boys, huh?" Original Cindy interrupted. She thought back to when Sketchy had brought in the poster saying it was Max. Cindy refused to believe her best friend was a murderer and told Sketchy he was nuts. Although she had silently wondered about the likeness.   
  
"Yeah... it was Lydecker. I was stuck out in South Market when I was noticed by some kids. Zack managed to sneak some gear in for me to escape though. Then Logan drove us to his family cabin out in the country; from there Zack and I would leave for Canada."   
  
"Well you're still here, so something musta happened." Cindy again interrupted. She never had the patience to hear things out.   
  
Max laughed. "Will you let me finish or not?" At her silence, she continued, "Zack went inside the cabin while I tried to say goodbye to Logan." She paused a second. "I didn't want to leave him. I had no idea what to say. I offered to let him come with us, but he declined. I know he still felt bad about the wheelchair, but it was the truth. He couldn't come with us, no matter how much I wanted him there. I... I finally walked away but something pulled me back. I kissed him and he told me to go."   
  
A tear slowly escaped her eye, but Max quickly brushed it away. Soldiers didn't cry. "It really wasn't a romantic kiss, you see... just a goodbye kiss."   
  
"Dang girl. That's some pretty heavy baggage. But something tells me it meant more than a goodbye kiss. I saw you cry. Don't think I missed it. So what made you come back?" Cindy gently asked this time, knowing this was affecting Max more than she knew it.   
  
"That night I sat staring out the window at the rain. I felt something, I'm not quite sure what, but I felt something. I called Logan's cell phone, but instead I got Bling. He was at the hospital." Unconsciously Max paled at the memory. "Logan had planned on going in that next morning to have surgery to remove a bullet fragment that was pushing on his spinal cord. But he collapsed that night. Zack didn't want me to leave, but I had to see him, you know? I had to help him. His doctor told me he'd lost a lot of blood and they didn't have enough to transfuse him, he had rare blood. When he left the room, I transfused my own blood into Logan. Our blood is engineered to be accepted by any blood type."   
  
She paused again, and Original Cindy knew there was something she was leaving out, but she didn't press. Little did she know that Max and Logan had shared a dream and it really scared her. What did it mean? Were they connected somehow? "I was caught though, someone had seen the poster. The police took me, but it was later when all the girls were let out that I found that Zack had turned himself in so that I could be free."   
  
They were silent for a minute after Max finished her story.   
  
"You love him."   
  
Max looked up at her shocked. "I do not... I... He's just a friend."   
  
"For a friend, you would have left town, but for someone you love, you came back and saved his life."   
  
"I saved your life Cindy, and you're my best friend." Max tried to reason with her.   
  
Original Cindy shook her head. "That involved butt kicking, which you enjoy, and you know that's not what I'm talking about. Think about it boo, think about the past year you've known him. You spend way too much time over at his place for 'just friends'. Think about all that he has done for you. He cares way too much about you for just a friend either."   
  
"Think about that kiss and tell me that you didn't want more and you haven't thought about another one."   
  
Max's cheeks turned outright red and Original Cindy laughed. "I think we have an answer. Now tell me that you don't want to march right over to rich boy's place and smack a big wet kiss on his cute stubbly face." Max gaped at her, but Original Cindy continued.   
  
"Face it girl, you love him. I think tonight is a perfect time to tell him so and don't think that this heat thing should stop you from going at it. It's all about love and not hormones. There's a line between sex and making love. It would be sex if you went over there and forced him on the bed, but if you two talked and got some feelings out, it's going to be love. This heat would only be an excuse for getting the ball rolling and not some curse."   
  
"Do you really think so?" Max asked timidly.   
  
"I think so. Now get your sorry butt in the shower, get dressed and go meet your man!" Original Cindy shooed her out of the room and sat down on their couch, laughing. "I knew that girl liked him."   
  


*****

  
Max stood outside Logan's apartment door and took a deep breath. As much as she was in heat, and the hormones were racing, she was nervous. Very nervous. How would Logan take it? Would he understand her heat phase? But more importantly, did he really love her like Cindy told her? And would he be willing to please her because she was in heat? She wouldn't even be considering sex if it wasn't for her hormones. She'd rather tell him that she loved him and just had a nice relaxing evening together. That's right, she loved him. She had had a serious conversation with herself while she took her shower and she had come to the same conclusion that Cindy had made from the very beginning.   
  
But she also knew Original Cindy was right about the line between sex and love. If Logan loved her, then it would out of love and maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't regret it in the morning. And her life would never be the same.   
  
Forcing herself to ring the doorbell before she talked herself out of it, Max stood and waited. Logan would be surprised by her decision to not pick the lock like usual, but she had decided that with her recent discovery, and what she hoped would happen that night, she knew she had to make some changes; start a new life. And that included ringing the doorbell.   
  
Anxiously waiting for Logan to open the door, Max shifted the weight on her feet, dancing back and forth. She knew it took him longer to answer the door so she waited patiently. Or so she tried. Max had little patience, but she wasn't going to be rude and suddenly pick the lock, knowing Logan would understand the switch. She didn't want to start this out on the wrong foot by openly pointing out his disability.   
  
Which was another thing she and Original Cindy had pondered after she got dressed. Was he up to it? She didn't want to slam the door in his face if he felt like he couldn't satisfy her or was embarrassed by the whole thing. Of course, they were talking about Logan, who never wanted to talk about his disability and tried to act like everything was normal in his life. The wheelchair had become a part of his life and he had accepted it. Though, there had been a setback after the temporary effects of her transfusion. But things were better now.   
  
Finally Logan opened the door after what had seemed to be an eternity. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, or so she had heard. It had taken her awhile to learn all the clichés and idioms when she joined the real world after the escape, but it was like a second language to her now, normal and rolled off the tongue like everyone else.   
  
"Hiya. Happy anniversary." He danced with the wheels of his chair, still grinning at her. It was contagious and Max grinned back at him.   
  
"Happy anniversary." Max echoed as Logan rolled back to let her into the apartment. She closed the door behind her and turned back to face him.   
  
"I see you didn't break in like always. I had wondered if you would come through the skylight again," he commented as he quickly maneuvered his chair around and led her to the living room. She sat down on the couch and he set his brakes, situating the chair across from her.   
  
"I thought it might be a nice change in things." Max shrugged. Her blood pressure rose as she felt his presence so near to her. Heat radiated from her body as it screamed for her to mate. "So what's the surprise? I came specifically for the mirth, food and a surprise."   
  
Logan laughed and his cerulean blue eyes danced, taking in the beautiful sight in front of him. She had remembered his little comment and he felt happy that she had, although it was none too surprising that she wanted it now. He was more than willing to oblige.   
  
"Cover your eyes."   
  
Max obliged, forgetting about her heat for a moment. "Please tell me that _this_ time it is jewelry? Please..." she begged as she remember the last time she had covered her eyes for him.   
  
Again laughter rang out from Logan, and like the time before, he slowly stood up. Max felt déjà vu as she felt the rush of air flow past her and Logan's presence moving upward. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she lowered her hands and looked up at him.   
  
"How?"   
  
"A gift from our crazy friend, Phil." Logan replied, smiling at the angel gazing up at him.   
  
Max rose to meet him, more tears following the first. "I guess it's not jewelry then, huh?"   
  
Logan shook his head and chuckled, then cupped her cheek with his hand. "No, it's not, but I might manage that later, ok?"   
  
She hiccupped in response and nodded. "Ok."   
  
Knowing that the ice needed to be broken, Logan stepped away. "How about dinner?" He hadn't known how she would respond, and even though she hadn't said anything, the tears were enough.   
  
  
Max fidgeted all through dinner, and it did not escape the notice of Logan.   
  
"Max, what's wrong?"   
  
Abruptly looking up from her plate, Max bit her lip. "We need to talk."   
  
Those four words surprised Logan, and immediately he put his fork down. Conversations that started this way never ended up good and he hoped that maybe, just maybe he wasn't assuming too much by what she was about to tell him.   
  
When planning this evening, he had not only wanted to surprise her with the exo-skeleton, but by telling her how he felt. Bling, along with Original Cindy, was right; he liked her. Liked her more than a friend or business partner. And it had only taken him a year to figure it out.   
  
And now he couldn't help but feel the tip of an imaginary knife over his heart.   
  
Max gazed down at her plate for a moment, then looked back up at him. "I've recently made a discovery, or realization I guess you could put it."   
  
The knife started to slice down in his chest.   
  
"It's been a year now, since I met you. And I have to admit that I've been on an emotional roller coaster this year. I've never allowed anyone to know who I am or even get this close to me."   
  
It sliced deeper and he thought he couldn't breathe.   
  
"Logan, I don't know how to say this exactly, but Original Cindy suggested I just come outright and say it."   
  
Logan felt the world come crashing to his feet and the stars were spinning above him.   
  
"I love you."   
  
Logan's eyes snapped open, though he didn't know when he'd closed them. His jaw dropped a bit and stared at her. She looked nervous, ringing her hands and waiting on his response. Did he hear her right? Did she say she loved him? That couldn't be right. She was about to say that she couldn't stay there, that Zack was right and she had to run to Canada. Wasn't she?   
  
"Logan?"   
  
"Um... yes?"   
  
"Did you hear what I said?" She asked, a little afraid that he wouldn't reciprocate her feelings.   
  
"Um... Did you say that you, you..." He couldn't finish it. He might have heard wrong. Wasn't she leaving?   
  
"I love you Logan."   
  
Logan sighed as she confirmed what he thought she'd said. "Thank God." He muttered.   
  
"What?" Max looked confused, having heard him because of her advanced hearing. Most of the time she enjoyed her exceptional hearing but then there were times that she didn't. And right now she had no clue if this was one of the good moments or not.   
  
He glanced up at her, smiling. "I'd thought you were going to say you were leaving for Canada."   
  
Max's eyes widened, "What? Why would you think that?"   
  
"I... I was scared when you said we had to talk. It didn't sound like good news. I guess I've always been afraid that one day you would realize that Zack was right and you'd pick up and leave for Canada." Logan hung his head over his plate and sighed.   
  
"Seattle's become my home Logan, I don't know if I could ever leave. Unless maybe if Lydecker was at the front door." She smiled playfully. His reaction surprised her. She had tried to run through all the possible scenarios in her head before she left, and this never crossed her mind. Logan thought she was leaving, and was scared. Scared was a good feeling then, right? Did that mean he cared for her? Loved her? She had to know.   
  
Logan returned her smile and visibly relaxed. But then the realization of what Max _had_ said hit him. He opened his mouth to reply, then quickly closed it. What was he to say? I love you too? That seemed so... trite.   
  
Max waited for him to collect his thoughts as he obviously tried to gather the right words. He looked so cute, mouth opening and shutting, his eyes puzzled as he ran through what he wanted to say in his head. He was always the journalist, picking the best words.   
  
But unfortunately her body didn't think it was that cute. It urged her to grab him and slam him against her body, rip off his shirt to reveal his well-sculpted chest and arms. She knew that the wheelchair had kept his upper body in shape and right now she felt like... CALM DOWN GIRL!!! Max mentally slapped herself. This was Logan she was talking about and she had to remain calm. Calm, that's right, calm. She took a deep breath and looked back up at him.   
  
Oh, but look at him... with his stubbly face and those glasses perched precariously on his nose. Sigh. And look at those gorgeous crystal clear blue eyes behind those glasses.   
  
Max was shaken out of her drool fest when Logan tried to get through to her. "Max? Um... Max? Are you ok?"   
  
She jumped up nervously and blushed a little when she saw him staring at her curiously. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just tuned out for a second."   
  
"Uh... ok. I guess what I was trying to say is, I know that this was hard for you to say, and I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this. Max, I've come to enjoy the time we spend together a lot. I know we started out like business partners, but we've also come to be friends too." Logan paused a moment. Max shifted in her seat, feeling uneasy as he talked. Now she was scared of what he was going to say. Sorry but I don't feel the same. Can we just be friends? Suddenly she heard him continue. "But somewhere in the middle I fell in love with you. I know it took me awhile to figure it out but I feel it's better late than never huh? Like Charlie said, he'd never regret one second that he had with Tinga. I don't want to come to regret not making more of the time that we have together."   
  
He looked directly in her eyes. "I love you too, Max."   
  
Max just sat there in shock. Staring at him, but not seeing him. Did he actually feel the same? He loved her too?   
  
"Max, Max? Are you okay?" Logan looked at her worried. She wasn't responding and she seemed to be in her own world.   
  
Her head snapped up and her eyes came into focus. "I... I can't believe it. I had hoped, I mean, Original Cindy said you did but I wasn't sure and now..." She stood up and started pacing nervously. So they loved each other, now what? How could she tell him about her heat? Her body had been screaming at her the entire time and now it knew there was a body and possibly willing one, a few feet away from her. Heck, even if his wasn't willing, hers wanted him. NOW.   
  
Logan puzzled at her. Sure he had thought when he planned for the evening that she might try to run, but now... She had been the one to start the discussion, to openly admit to her feelings, which he was very proud of, but now she looked so... cagey. It was as if she couldn't handle it now that it was out in the open. Great, just great. She was going to run, wasn't she?   
  
Abruptly she stopped and looked at him. "I don't know really how to explain this, but I wanted you to know how I felt from the beginning. I'm not backing down Logan and I'm not running away. I know it probably seems like that, but there's something you need to know about me."   
  
Unconsciously she wrung her hands nervously before she went on, "I go through these phases because of my feline DNA. Every few months I get this craving I guess you could say. My hormones go wild and I need-" Max stopped unable to just blurt it out.   
  
"Sex?" Logan asked. She nodded. "Your body goes through heat wanting to mate. I've seen it in cats before, I understand Max. And I know it's not your fault." He stood up and walked over to her. Carefully he held her in his arms and kissed her on the top of her head. "It's okay Max."   
  
She felt tears about to come and she sniffled, trying to will herself not to cry. But they came anyway. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want tonight to be like this. I almost didn't come because I didn't think I could handle it."   
  
"Shh... I understand Max, I do." He lifted her chin a little and smiled. Gently he wiped away her tears with the soft pad of his thumb.   
  
Relaxing in his arms, Max gave way to her emotions and just cried. They stayed that way for a few minutes before she stiffened. Then breaking the contact, she quickly walked away from him. "I can't... I have to go... I'm sorry but my body..." She turned and ran for the door.   
  
"Max, wait." She stopped at his command.   
  
"I can help."   
  
Turning around, she glanced at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, an unusual sight on her face. "I don't want it to be that way. Not because of my screwed up body."   
  
"It doesn't have to be that way Max. If we love each other it can be something special. It doesn't have to be sex because of your heat." Slowly he walked to her, silently hoping she wouldn't run again.   
  
"Original Cindy said that. She said there was a line between having sex and making..." Max looked down at her feet shyly.   
  
"Love? Max, she is right. It's more than just having sex. Making love is a special gift that people can give each other. Max, your body may just want sex, but your heart, what does it want?" He stopped in front of her and waited. "I love you Max, and I want to share that gift with you."   
  
"I love you too," she whispered. Holding out her hand, Logan wrapped his hand around hers and they slowly walked to his bedroom. Max stopped him before they reached the doorway. "I have to warn you, I might not be able to control myself... Just slap me okay? For some reason, that snaps me out of it."   
  
Logan nodded and led her in the room.   
  
Unfortunately, her body didn't respond like she wanted. As soon as she saw the bed, the hormones took over. She grabbed Logan by his shirt and threw him on the bed.   
  
Startled by her sudden shift in attitude, Logan gaped at the sight of Max ready to pounce on him like a tiger. She wasn't acting like a playful kitty; she was downright dangerous. Logan was sprawled on the bed with no way out. Max started to crawl on top of him, but he quickly put his hand on her chest to stop her.   
  
"Max, no! This isn't you. You need to calm down." He protested, hoping to get through to her despite all the hormones raging a vicious battle in her body.   
  
In response, she purred.   
  
Logan's eyes bugged out and scrambled to sit up at the head of the bed. She followed him, but when she was a few inches from his face about to lick him, he slapped her on the cheek.   
  
Max coiled back and shook her head. "Thanks. I'm sorry about that." Her face was bright red.   
  
"Uh... it's okay Max. But we just need to take this slow. You need to be in control of yourself." She nodded in agreement.   
  
Awkwardly she glanced at him then bluntly said, "Although I think you need to take off the exo-skeleton."   
  
Logan sighed, but he knew he had to. Even though he could walk now, the exo-skeleton would be in the way. He stripped off his pants then turned off the servomotors. Immediately his legs went numb. It took him a minute, but he managed to remove it from his legs.   
  
Looking up at Max, he asked. "Can you put it in the living room for me?"   
  
She walked out of the room, and Logan sat there thinking. How was this going to work? Would he really be enough for her? Shaking his head at that last thought, he chuckled. Right now anything was ok for Max, but he hoped she realized it was going to be different... to say the least. He himself had no idea what would happen, but all that mattered was that they loved each other.   
  
When she came back, he motioned her to the bed. Gracefully, she slid next to him. "I know this will be difficult for you, seeing as your hormones are waging a war against you right now. But I want you to know that I'm here for you and you can do this. You can control yourself and just relax."   
  
"I know." Max whispered.   
  
"Also, I want you to know that this is the first time for me since the accident." Max jerked up with surprise. Although there had been no women around, she hadn't expected him to broach the topic.   
  
"If you don't want to..."  
  
"No, I want to." Logan reassured her. "I just wanted you to know that I'm in new territory as well. I'm not sure how things will go, but I want you to know that I love you." With that, he pulled her close and kissed her gently, then their passion rose as they clung to each other and the love began...  
  



	2. Alpha and Omega

To explain a little... This fic is POST-FINALE. The first chapter was just some background information about how I changed the DA timeline. (As you can see, I wanted shippyness!!)  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! Just to inform you, I have finished chapter 6, 7, and 8!! My muse has returned and I'm writing fast and furious. So don't worry about this taking a LONG time!! I will however be spacing out the posts because I don't want to leave you hanging after several posts!!  
  
TISSUE WARNING: Angst ahead!!   
  
  
Chapter 2 _Alpha and Omega_  
  
Renfro stood viewing the wreckage. The tube was destroyed and water still sloshed around on the floor. Inwardly she boiled at the sight of all her work destroyed. If she ever got her hands on Lydecker... Pushing that thought aside, she turned to a guard. "Where is she?"   
  
"Right this way ma'am." He led her to a side room down the hallway and pointed inside where three doctors stood talking with each other.   
  
A lifeless body lay on a typical hospital bed, hooked up to machines everywhere on her body. Monitors flashed her vitals and beeped as her heart beat, the only sign that she was alive.   
  
The doctors quieted immediately when she entered the room. The one nurse present quickly exited the room.   
  
"How is she?" She asked them curtly.   
  
"Alive. We had trouble reviving her once we found her but she is doing better now. There is no damage to any of her major organs as far as we can tell." One doctor spoke up. He was average height, brown hair and brown eyes, around thirty-five. He had been working at Manticore for five years now and he knew that if Renfro didn't like you or you screwed up, you were gone. As much as he grew to hate his job, he knew it would cost him his life if he were ever to try to leave.   
  
So he shut up and did like he was ordered. But it was a time like now that he wished he had the courage not to. The girl's body that they had been working on was weak and her face was void, now that her brain functions had ceased. It hurt him to see her, as she looked so much like his own wife. Every day he was scared that it would be his last day, and that meant his wife's, and family's as well.   
  
Renfro nodded. "Good. Have you accomplished everything? Do you need her body any longer?"   
  
Another doctor shook his head. He was older than the first doctor, around fifty and already balding. "We're finished."   
  
"Then is she ready for transport?"   
  
The first doctor stood shocked. He hadn't heard about any transfer. "Transfer ma'am? We haven't been told about a transfer."   
  
She turned to him. "I'm telling you now. I want her ready to transport to the base tomorrow morning." With that, she abruptly turned and left the room leaving the now muted doctors stunned.   
  


*****

  
"It won't do her any good. She's an X5. She needs an X5 heart." Renfro told the X5 as he held her tight. Her first fleeting thought of fear was wiped away when she realized his intention.   
  
Zack threw Renfro across the room and ran to Max's side. He leaned down whispered. "Fight them, Maxie. Promise me you'll fight them."   
  
"X5-599," he coldly stated as if reporting for duty, bringing the gun up to his head and turning to Max, "I've got a heart for you."   
  
A shot rang out, but not from his gun. A guard from the back of the room shot him in the shoulder, causing the gun to fall. Guards rushed up and grabbed Zack after he fell on Max's still form. He cried and yelled out, "No!!! You can't let her die! You can't!" He strained against the guards, but with his shoulder out and combined with the earlier bullet wound, he fell limp.   
  
Renfro watched the scene in silence then turned to the guard standing closest to her. "Bring in X5-656." Looking up at the shocked doctors she calmly told them, "I have a body ready for immediate harvest. Keep her alive."   
  


*****

  
Max laid in bed listening to the sound of her brother's heart, now hers. A lab tech walked in and started setting up supplies on a nearby counter. Her eyes zoomed in on his name tag and read 'Victor.' Could this be Jace's boyfriend? Without another thought she ripped her arm from her restraint, catching his attention. He ran and tried to restrain her again, but she was too quick for him.   
  
Grabbing his shirt by the collar, she brought his face just inches away from hers. "My name is Max, I'm not going to hurt you. I know where Jace is, she's safe and wants to see you."   
  
Victor gasped. Jace? He'd heard she escaped away on a mission, but had never heard the details. He started to relax, but she gripped him harder.   
  
"Do not relax, they are watching. Look, I need your help. If you can help me get out, I'll help you find Jace and your child," she whispered, but keeping the look of force for the video cameras she knew were in the small room.   
  
His eyes bugged and he quickly replied, "She's pregnant?" Max nodded. She hoped he could be trusted. If they found out about Jace, they would torture her to no end for information. Of course it was already inevitable, but any unnecessary interrogation would be nice to avoid.   
  
"We don't have much time, but will you try to help? Don't nod, just tell me."   
  
"Yes. Anything. I have access to your drugs and I can switch them, but you'll have to act as if they're real. They're just sedatives for now. I don't know what they'll do beyond that."   
  
Before he could continue, guards rushed in and separated him from Max. Her restraint was once again in place, and she looked up at him forlornly. He stood there scared, not knowing what to do. A guard escorted him out of the room and he went back to his lab, thinking, planning.   
  
He was going to be a father and he'd do anything to be there with Jace. Anything, and that included helping Max escape and him as well.   
  


*****

  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Yes ma'am, I'm positive."   
  
She pondered the change in events then nodded. "Good. Keep her under for right now until I decide what to do. I don't want a repeat of yesterday's incident."   
  
He nodded then left the room when she swiveled her chair around and away from him, a sign that he should leave.   
  
Renfro grinned evilly as the news sunk in. This was definitely a surprise, but she knew it would go in her favor; especially in the eyes of the committee. Yes, Manticore was on its way back. And she would lead it all the way with no more Lydecker to worry about. Things were looking much better, much...  
  


*****

  
Zack stared up at Brin, strapped down in his own hospital bed. "No."   
  
"Yes. She's dead. And it's your fault."   
  
"How could you? How could you let her die?!" He yelled at her. The restraints tugged at him as he tried to break lose. As much as he loved his siblings, right now Brin was a target. He wanted to hit her. If only she hadn't succumbed to the reprogramming. She could have helped them, but she hadn't and now she was Renfro's pet. And she was the cause of Max's death, not him. He wanted to save her. He wanted to give his life for her. But they didn't let him.   
  
Brin sternly replied, "It's no use, X5-599. You failed and now you will rejoin Manticore. Welcome home." She turned and left him in his grief. Nodding at the guards who stood in the room with her, they followed her out and returned to their posts outside the door. Although injured and restrained, they were not taking any chances with Zack.   
  
Zack sank back down in his bed and cried.   
  
"I'm sorry Maxie. I'm sorry," he whispered out loud. Images of Max flashed inside his head smiling and laughing. But no more... He had failed his own personal objective, that of protecting his siblings. And Max had to pay for his mistake.   
  


*****

  
Logan stood staring out the window that night, after his trip up to the Space Needle. It wasn't quite the same view, but it was high enough. Raindrops rolled down the windowpanes in an endless pitter-patter. The apartment was dark except for the light in the kitchen where Krit and Syl sat talking quietly with each other.   
  
Lydecker silently walked up behind him at the window.   
  
"Logan."   
  
When he didn't answer, he tried again. "Son, I know how you feel."   
  
Logan turned around angry. "Oh do you? So, your wife was killed. But you at least had time with her. I knew Max for one year!! One year!! Did you know that it took the entire year for us to get together? Everyone around else saw it but us! We were blind and ignorant to think that we could be more than business partners or even friends!   
  
"I mean, how could we even think that we were worthy of each other? Why would a genetically enhanced girl want with a crippled man? And why did a genetically engineered soldier think she could be loved?" Logan's face fell as he whispered the last words.   
  
"You act like their father, but you're not. How could you even begin to believe that you could be their father? Would a father let his children hurt and kill people? Would he teach them that emotions were bad, and that no one loved them?   
  
"Do you know how hard it was and how long it took for Max to accept that she wasn't a killer? That she was a human being, with emotions, feelings, and the right to love and be loved? She finally opened up, and now..." Logan stopped, unable to continue. He looked up with tears in his eyes at Lydecker, and Krit and Syl who had walked in, hearing him yelling.   
  
Suddenly anger overtook his eyes and he charged Lydecker. He punched him in the face, but Lydecker's military training took over and fought back. Logan was sent flying into the wall and his legs crumpled under him.   
  
Krit and Syl looked on in shock. Either one of them was ready to step in if necessary, but the room was silent now.   
  
Then Logan started laughing hysterically. "Of course!! Of course!!" He stripped off his pants and turned off the exo-skeleton that was beeping and jerking wildly. Removing the machine from his legs he threw it across the room and it fell in a heap against a wall. "Why should I walk? I mean, what's the point?!! Why should Logan Cale be able to walk around when Max can't? Why? She's dead because I couldn't take her with me. She's dead." He calmed down, crying and hiccupping. "She's dead."   
  
Once again the room was silent; no one dared break the silence and upset Logan. They were upset as well, but they saw how it was affecting him. He had been very close with Max for the past year, where they had not seen her for years.   
  
Krit was the first to speak up. "What was that?" Syl glared at him. That was not the right thing to ask at a time like this. Krit shrugged. If anything, it was a change in subject.   
  
Logan glanced up at him. "That is the only thing that keeps me on my feet. The one thing I worked on for weeks just for Max. Just so I could surprise her, so I could stand up next to her, to actually look down at her instead of up, so that we could walk together, dance together... And now... it's worth nothing to me." He laid his back down on the floor, covered his eyes with his hands and openly sobbed. "She's gone. I never got to tell her... oh God, I never told her what she meant to me."   
  
Syl once again glared at Krit for bringing it up. Carefully she walked to Logan and knelt beside him. "Logan, we're all sorry, but it's no one's fault. We all loved her," she glanced over at Lydecker then back at Logan, "in our own ways. But there's nothing we can do now. It might be difficult in the beginning, but we have to move on and be strong. Be strong for Max, Logan, do you think you can do that?"   
  
He lifted his head to look at Syl. His eyes were dull, and dark bags hung under them. He nodded. "For Max."   
  
Syl sighed. "Good. Now what can I... we do for you? After all, you're the one letting us stay here at your place."   
  
"There's a wheelchair in my office, could you retrieve it for me?"   
  
"Sure." Syl stood up and left the room. Krit and Lydecker looked on, still a little leery of Logan's frame of mind.   
  
As if he read their minds, Logan glanced up at them. "I'm sorry for my outburst. Are you okay?" He motioned to the blooming purple bruise on Lydecker's cheek.   
  
Tenderly, he touched it and nodded. "I'm fine."   
  
Syl came in with the wheelchair and helped him up. He then pushed his way to the kitchen.   
  
"Who's hungry?"   
  


*****

  
Bling walked in the next morning only to be greeted with the sight of Krit and Syl in fighting stances, glaring at him. Lydecker stood in the back, holding a gun ready.   
  
"Who are you?" Krit barked out.   
  
Bling dropped his bag and held up his hands in the airs. "I'm Bling, Logan's physical therapist."   
  
They relaxed and stood back to allow him in. Bling picked up his bag and walked to the exercise room where he dumped it on the floor. The others followed him, still a little nervous about this stranger.   
  
Noticing their hesitation, Bling turned to them and grinned. "You must be Max's siblings. How did things go?"   
  
Krit and Syl looked at him with shock. "How did you know?" Syl asked. She couldn't believe her own sister would tell other people about them. Didn't she care about their safety or her own? You never knew when someone would turn their back on you, no matter how much you trusted them.   
  
"Let's just say I'm here enough to know everything that goes on around here and all the secrets. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone." Bling answered them in a serious tone. He knew that for them to trust him would be hard and he had to do everything that he could to make them. This wasn't some schoolyard secret that he knew; it was life and death dangerous.   
  
"Son, things are just tense right now and we're all a little afraid of anyone who knows anything." Lydecker spoke up, walking in the room and stood behind his children.   
  
That much was obvious to Bling. He shifted a little then quietly asked, "What happened? Where's Max?"   
  
"She's dead, Bling." Logan answered, rolling into the room. Everyone turned to see him. He didn't look so good. Dark circles still hung around his eyes and his stubble had grown past its cute stage.   
  
Hearing the commotion out in the other rooms, Logan had finally pushed himself out of bed. He had been lying there most of the night, trying to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, nightmares plagued his sleep. It would be awhile before he would get some sound sleep.   
  
"I'm sorry, man."   
  
"Thanks. Bling, I'd like you to meet Krit, Syl, and Col. Lydecker." Logan introduced them then rolled to the kitchen. Everyone nodded at each other then followed him out.   
  
As he started to make some coffee, Bling stepped in. "I'll do it."   
  
Logan looked up irritated. "Don't start with me now, Bling. I can do it." Bling backed off and stood with the others. He went on and starting making breakfast for everyone. Eggs, pancakes, you name it, he was making it. Unable to watch him any longer, Bling stopped him.   
  
"Logan, you've made enough food."   
  
"Actually, it's perfect. Krit and I could eat all of this right now." Syl replied, grinning at the two of them.   
  
Logan smiled back. "You're just like Max. She could eat almost everything, and she always did." His smile dropped a moment later and he went to get drinks for everyone.   
  
They all sat down and ate quietly when Cindy barged in. "Aiight boy, you better have a good explanation for why Max hasn't been home in the past couple days. Normal is throwing a fit and I'm worried."   
  
Krit and Syl jumped up and immediately stood to defend the group. Logan waved them down. "It's okay. She's a friend."   
  
"Well?" Original Cindy asked, hand on her hip as she stared down at him.   
  
"Why don't you sit down, Cindy?" Logan pointed to an extra chair at the table. All eyes were on her but she made no motion to them.   
  
"Not until you tell me what's going on." It was then that she noticed the guests. "Who are they? Is this some party I wasn't invited to?"   
  
Logan once again introduced them and poked at his food. He wasn't ready to tell her the news, but knew it was inevitable.   
  
"Wait a second. Lydecker as in black helicopter dude?" Original Cindy was not happy to see him.   
  
Krit and Syl exchanged a glance. "Did Max tell everyone?" Syl asked.   
  
Logan shook his head. "No. Bling and Original Cindy are the only ones."   
  
"Hey! Don't worry about me telling no one. She's my boo. She saved my life." Cindy turned back to Logan. "Now will you tell me what's going on?"   
  
Sighing, he decided to cut to the chase. He himself didn't want to go into the details and bring up even more nightmarish memories. His nightmares during his sleep were enough for him, as he relived every moment. "Cindy. I'm not really sure how to explain it, but yesterday we attacked Manticore, and Max died."   
  
Original Cindy paled. "No... Max is strong. Nobody messes with her."   
  
Logan shook his head. "I'm sorry."   
  
"Na-uh. No way. I don't believe that." She persisted in her denial. Her boo couldn't be gone. She just saw her the other day! They had planned on having a girl's night this weekend where they would do manicures and pedicures on each other. Original Cindy had even convinced Max to put on an exfoliating mask.   
  
"She's dead Cindy!! She died in my arms and there's nothing that we can do about it now, okay?" Logan yelled. He unlocked his brakes and rolled himself to his bedroom.   
  
Everyone sat there stunned. Original Cindy started to cry. Bling got up to check on Logan.   
  
But before he left the room, Syl called out. "Wait Bling."   
  
He turned to face the X-5. "I think he needs time to himself." Bling stood there for a moment then nodded and sat back down.   
  
Original Cindy sank down in a chair and looked at them warily. "What happened?"   
  


*****

  
The wind rustled the leaves around on the ground. They swirled and floated through the air. Dark gray clouds collected overhead, pushing away the bright sunlight. A crackle of thunder could be heard off in the distance.   
  
But the people present did not notice nor did they care.   
  
All were dressed in black, in one way or another. They stood together, some leaning on others, the others giving support to their friends, and one sat in front of all them in his silent grief. No one approached him, for they had all tried before. He needed this time for himself.   
  
It was an empty casket funeral, for her body had not been recovered. This was all he had left to mourn. One lonely grassy spot in the cemetery, a few feet away from where his parents lay. There was already a spot planned for him and presumably his wife. Her marker filled the second.   
  
The priest spoke quietly, solemnly as the group of people looked on with tears forming in their eyes. He had called Father Destry after she'd finally revealed to him one night what had happened with Ben. He knew she would appreciate it. Although she may not have been religious, it was the idea of having someone to look over you, to help and guide you that struck a cord within her. She had also found something in Father Destry that night that helped her relieve some of her burdens.   
  
"We commend to almighty God..."   
  
Her friends from Jam Pony stood side by side; only Original Cindy knew the truth. Even Normal attended and let the business have a day off. They had been told she was murdered, but her body had not been recovered. Details weren't offered, and no one asked.   
  
"...our sister and friend, Max Guevara."   
  
Krit and Syl stood holding hands together. If anything, this was also a funeral to remember all of their lost siblings, not just Max. But for Eva, Ben, and Tinga. How many more of their family would be lost? Would they ever stop running and be at peace? Or would they all end up this way, lives cut short in fear and worry?   
  
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We pray that her soul is finally at ease."   
  
It was over. The running, the hiding, the secrets. He did hope that she was at ease now. She could rest, and join her siblings now. The start of the X5 family reunion that she had always wanted. Of course, she probably was still restless, wanting to ride her baby down the streets or to sit on the Space Needle. A small grin almost passed over his face at that thought, but it didn't quite make it as he once again looked down at the ground where her marker stood.   
  
_I hope you found your Elysium Max, I hope you're happy._   
  
"'I am the resurrection and the life,' saith the Lord; 'he that believeth in me, though he were dead yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.'"   
  
She was so strong; he'd always pushed away the thought that she could die. Sure he had worried about her and told her endlessly to be careful, but he never thought... And now here they were saying goodbye for the final time.   
  
He had to ask, 'Why?' Why did she have to die now? So young? She had her whole life ahead of her. Things had finally turned around for them and she was beginning to be happy and to let herself relax and enjoy her life. She had made a life for herself, with a job, friends, and love. But it was cut short. Way too short. Her real life had only started when she escaped. Had she really escaped at all? She always had to look over her shoulder, to wonder if they would catch her that day or the next.   
  
"The Lord bless her and keep her."   
  
They started to lower the casket down in the ground. The empty casket. He would never see her again. Never see her smiling face, her pouting lips, or that infectious laugh of hers. In a way, it would have helped him to known she was in that casket, to know that this was her final resting place. He didn't want to think about what Manticore would do with her body. He'd rather remember her the way he had last seen her, albeit bleeding in his arms. But in his arms.   
  
"The Lord makes his face to shine upon her and be gracious to her."   
  
Lightning erupted over them and rain started to drizzle. It didn't bother him. He let the rain wash over him. Silently he listened to the priest's last words and watched as the dirt covered the casket. He tossed in a single white rose. Others followed and tossed in roses, carnations and lilies. They all shifted restlessly in the rain, all except for him.   
  
"The Lord lift up his countenance upon her..."   
  
The raindrops mingled with the tears rolling down his face. As Father Destry closed his Bible, the final words shook him to his core. Sobs racked his body, his shoulders hunched and his hands covered his face. This was it. This was the end. She was gone and he would never see her again. _Goodbye Max, I'll love you forever._   
  
"...and give her peace."   
  
  



	3. Baa Baa, Black Sheep

Well, the reviews tapered off, but I think that's because the second chapter got lost in a sea of other stories updating!! Please review!! Thanks!  
  
  
Chapter 3 _Baa Baa, Black Sheep_  
  
As Victor had promised, he had switched her drugs. But it had taken a day for her current dose, that they had administered after he'd left the room, to wear off. And now she was bored. Bored out of her mind. She couldn't even look at the ceiling and try to be interested in it, for she had her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.   
  
She had woken up earlier that day, mind clouded and weak. A doctor came in shortly after and shot her again. But this time she did not fall asleep and she cheered as she realized that Victor had believed her. He was going to help her.   
  
But back to the matters at hand. She was bored. Utterly and completely bored. No one came in to check on her, so there went any entertainment there. She knew it was because of the video cameras and the machines hooked up to her. They felt no need to check on her if they could see her every move, which was nothing since she was supposed to be sedated and computers in another room reported her vitals to anyone who cared about her health and well-being. Well being, that's a laugh. This was Manticore, who cared about well being?   
  
She steered her mind clear of topics like Logan, Zack or any other close friends. Knowing that if she started to think about them, she wouldn't be able to keep up her charade. So she tried to ponder other things. War and peace? No, that hit too close to home. The beginning of life and the universe? Well, that involved God or some other beliefs, and that made her think of Ben. Moving on...   
  
Logan had once loaned her a mystery novel that she read in a few short hours. She begged him for more and she read the rest of the series in a few days. He had laughed at her, but he lent her whatever she wanted. Unfortunately she had no such novels at her convenience. So what was a girl to do? Start writing her own, that's what. Maybe once she got out, and she didn't let her mind tell her otherwise - she was going to stay optimistic - but maybe she would go publish it and make some money. Of course, it would probably have to be published in Canada to get any audience.   
  
Thinking of a plot was the tricky part. The only mystery or conspiracies she knew of involved Manticore or Eyes Only missions. And somehow the latter seemed pretty cut and dry for any novel. Besides, you needed a heroine or hero, and after her life, she couldn't think of a way to portray a normal human being as the protagonist. Sure there were people out in the world that tried to do good, such as Logan, but when it came to kicking butt, well... Manticore pretty much had that covered.   
  
Her mind flickered back to another style of book she had read. Logan had snuck it in without her knowledge and she pretty much came back and kicked his butt for it. He had given her a romance novel. Although truth be told, she had enjoyed it. It was light and cheerful, giving her something to smile and laugh at. Not to mention, it gave her some idea of how a relationship should be. After Darren, she had pretty much given up on the male species and the whole female swooning over the male thing. Then Logan showed up with his crystal clear blue eyes, the charm, and wonderful smile. She didn't mind his food or wine either. What girl wouldn't be attracted? Except for girls like Original Cindy, of course. Yet it had taken her awhile to act on her attraction. A heck of a long time. A whole year.   
  
But she couldn't go there now, could she? That would mean thinking about Logan and the night they shared, the love, and eventually the attack on Manticore where she had supposedly died in his arms. Oh she remembered it vividly and it hurt to think about it. And that's why she wasn't going to think about it.   
  
So she tossed the idea of writing a novel - mystery, romance or otherwise, aside. It wasn't likely anyway that she would have the chance to write anything down in the near future. Or that she'd remember it when she got home. All she cared about was that she _got_ home. Home where she could relax with Logan, play some chess and whip his cute butt, drink some wine and enjoy a Cale culinary miracle.   
  
Mentally she slapped herself. _You can't think about Logan, Max! _ Instead she started reciting all the muscles and nerves in the body - alphabetically. She sighed inwardly. This was going to be a long day.   
  
Ugh.   
  
It was hours later when she heard the guards change shifts. Which meant it was evening and most of the staff would be leaving, including Renfro and the doctors. She decided that she might as well sleep while she was pretending to do so. At least it wouldn't make her weak and her mind foggy as the drugs they gave her did.   
  
But telling her body to sleep was another thing. All day she had been awake and her senses on alert. She recalled friends telling her to count sheep when she couldn't sleep. They all found her lack of sleep weird, but accounted it to insomnia. As she pictured the sheep jumping the fence like they had told her, she tried not to laugh. Why was she counting sheep of all animals? Why not cats, dogs, or cows? Although trying to picture cows jumping a fence was pretty funny.   
  
What was the dealio with sheep anyway? They weren't cute. They were dirty wooly creatures. And the sound they made! It wasn't anything ferocious or even near intimidating! At least a cat could hiss and a dog could bark. Ok, so the cow's 'moo' wasn't too intimidating, but 'baa'? Come on people!   
  
Realizing that her pondering on the choice of sheep was not getting her anywhere, she began counting. Counting sheep, cats, dogs, cows, tigers, giraffes, and hey! Let's have some fun and throw in an elephant! It was rather amusing seeing an elephant fly through the air. So she counted...  
  


*****

  
Max woke up to see Renfro staring at her... smiling at her with that evil grin that she had perfected so well. She wanted to hit her, but the restraints held her in place.   
  
"How do you feel?"   
  
_How do I feel? Like you would care? _  
  
"As good as new, ma'am." She heard her voice reply. _Wait!! I didn't want to say that! Spit at her, do something! Don't just lay there. _  
  
She smiled that grin again. Smirking, like she knew something that Max didn't know. Oh, she just wanted to wipe that grin off and punch in her nose. How would you like that, huh? Wouldn't look so high and mighty then would you?   
  
"How long have I been out?" Again her voice answered. _Max wanted to scream. She felt like she was pounding on a door in her own head, trapped. _  
  
"A few days. We had to keep you under for the drugs to take effect. I've been waiting to see how you would handle it."   
  
"I feel fine. I'm ready to work." _Work? I'm not working for you bitch! What did you do to me?! I was only given sedatives and Victor switched them!! _ And with that thought she knew something was wrong. Either Victor lied, or he had been caught. Her only chance of escape was gone. Her only hope of help, of a link to the outside world, was gone.   
  
"Good to hear. What is you designation?"   
  
"X5-452, ma'am." _Max nearly cried. Her name was Max, not X5-452. Max. Max. She wasn't a soldier. Her name was Max... _  
  
Renfro nodded in response. She walked around the room for a minute then turned back to face her. "We gained some useful information from the escapee known as Max. It seems she made some contacts while out in Seattle. Someone of importance. Someone who knows about Manticore and who will do anything to tear us down. He has aided in your fellow sibling's escape from capture and helped in the destruction of Manticore property." She glanced at Max and her head nodded without my consent.   
  
"He has a persona named, 'Eyes Only,' and he feels it is his need to save the world. Or so he thinks. The escapee gave us his name, location, and extensive information that will help you track him down."   
  
"And kill him."   
  
_Logan!! NO. NO. NO!! I would never tell you anything about him! Don't you dare touch him! You sick woman! What did you do to me? I don't remember telling you anything. I feel asleep on my own accord. No one gave me any more drugs; no one even came in the room!   
  
I'm so sorry Logan, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. _  
  
Max cried inwardly as she could not physically. Her body did not respond to anything she told it, and she worried what would happen next. She knew enough that a heart transplant took time to heal, but she had no idea how long she had been out. For all she knew, she could be sent out the next day. And it scared her to death. As much as Max wanted to see Logan, she didn't want to be the one who killed him.   
  
Renfro waited for her reaction; her body gave none. She seemed satisfied. Max wondered if Renfro knew she was still here, or at least in this body _somewhere. _ She had no clue where she was exactly. Max felt like she was in her own body, but somehow she wasn't.   
  
She told her that she was to dress out in a few hours for her first drills. Then Renfro left her alone thinking, wondering what she was going to do. How was she going to get out of here if Victor was no longer able to help and she couldn't even tell her body what to do?   
  
A soldier came a few minutes later and released her from her restraints. Apparently they trusted her already. But he came back a moment later with a tray of food. Max looked down at the military rations and her stomach lurched. It wasn't a Cale culinary masterpiece that's for sure.   
  


*****

  
It was at 1000 hours that another soldier came in with her new clothes. She looked down at the fatigues in disgust. But her body thanked him like the good soldier that she was. Max personally, she wanted to throw the stupid thing back at him. She may have been trained as a soldier, but not anymore. She had been free for ten years and she did not want to go back. Even with the aftereffects of the pulse, she'd still choose it over this place. She was free and allowed her own life.   
  
And the fatigues were a symbol of everything that she did not want. It was morning drills, orders, crappy food, torture, afternoon drills... and a prison. Her body diligently got dressed and waited for the order to start drills. Max on the other hand, couldn't help but wonder if this... this thing that has happened to her, had happened to Brin? Was she too caught inside of her own head, unable to stop herself?   
  
When the soldier returned to escort her to the gym, she tried to observe everything around her as they walked around the base. Physically it was the same place that she had grown up in, but somehow it was different. Was it because she was seeing it through eyes that had escaped and seen the world? She was only a child then after all. Max cringed as she saw the new X7's march around. They were just children, but why couldn't they see what she had seen? Manticore was not a home. It was a prison, plain and simple.   
  
She saw no Manticore X series older than the X7's, and she wondered what happened to the X6's and if there were any more X5's still left. Not all of them had escaped that night; Jace and others stayed behind. What had happened to them after the escape? Were they punished? Have they been given drugs like she had to brainwash them? It had become obvious that they were too independent. It was no wonder that the X7's had hive minds. But if there were other X5's, were they trapped as well? If only she could break down these walls, take control of her own body again. If somehow they could unite... and escape.   
  
But that was wishful thinking. She first had to break down her own walls. This morning she had tried, but nothing came of it. She could find no doors or windows in her head, or even a wall to get through. It was like she was in dead space. She could yell and scream and no one would hear her.   
  
The X7's did not do so much as even look at her as she walked down the hall. Weren't they even curious? The X5's had been intrigued by everything new and different that they saw as kids. That's how kids were supposed to be, anyway. But then curiosity killed the cat, or so she had heard. And seeing that they had feline genes...  
  
The gym was empty when they arrived. All except for one lone figure staring out a window. She was dressed in the same fatigues that Max wore, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Turning around to face Max, she immediately recognized her. Brin. Nodding at the soldier, he saluted and left the two of them alone.   
  
"Welcome home soldier." Brin looked at her, waiting to see if she would rebuke. As if to see if this was X5-542, and not Max.   
  
"Thank you. It feels good to be back where I belong." Max received a curt nod of approval from Brin with her answer.   
  
Obviously that was going to be all the small talk, for Brin got right to the point. "The director wants a demonstration later today. We'll start with a warm-up, a run, and then we'll work on drills."   
  
It was obvious that Max's body had healed quickly. Of course, it had been expected. But to the surprise of Brin, Max noticed, she had not expected Max to be in shape. After being out of Manticore, Brin thought Max would be weak, even though they had fought previously. It was just natural to think herself superior to Max, having been retrained by Manticore more recently than Max.   
  
Max on the other hand, was surprised how well she felt. She felt weak, just not having control of her body. And since she had been out for several days, she also felt groggy. But one thing she did not feel was a need for Tryptophan. They must have fixed that little problem already.   
  
As she warmed up and ran around the base, Max took notice of everything: of the guards, exits, and anything that could be useful in an attempt to escape. An escape was unlikely at the moment, but she knew that anything could happen and she had to be ready. Always be prepared. She heard that somewhere. Original Cindy said some boy scouts or another thought that way. Whatever.   
  
In drills, they were fairly matched up. What she lacked in recent training, she made up for it with her experience out in the real world. Not to mention all the Eyes Only missions she went on. There was more than one time when she could pull a new move out on Brin and surprise her. Brin was trained with the standard moves, and even though Max knew less, she could still predict them and Brin herself.   
  
When the time came for Renfro to observe, they went all out. It almost seemed like a battle to the death until Renfro called for them to stop. She nodded at Brin and left. Brin dismissed her for the day and a soldier came to escort her back to her room.   
  
Max found herself lying on her cot in her new room later. Obviously they trusted her enough now and her body had healed to a point where she was out of the infirmary. The soldier that was her had nothing to do but rest on the cot, and she was all too happy to do so too. Thoughts once again plagued her. Her mind kept coming back to Brin and she remembered that time where they fought on the roof after rescuing Tinga's son and husband. She had let Max go. How was that? The soldier that she was now, did not allow Max to be anything but a Manticore soldier too. Had the real Brin been able to break through? If so, how?   
  
She had to find a way to break through, if not for herself but for Logan. She did not, and would not kill Logan. If only there was a way... Or something that could postpone the mission she knew Renfro wanted done soon. Eventually Renfro would call on her to kill him and she hoped she had some time till then.   
  


*****

  
The day Max dreaded came three days later. She had a meeting with Renfro to discuss her future. Apparently she was fit for duty and they were going to talk about her first mission. And that meant Eyes Only.   
  
She had tried repeatedly to get control of her body, but no such luck. Time was almost up now and she was scared. The hard part was that she had no way of warning Logan. If only she could warn him, then maybe, just maybe he would be prepared to defend himself. Sebastian could figure a way to free her, or else they had to kill her. She didn't want to come back after the mission. Especially if she did kill Logan. There was no way she could live like this, knowing she had killed him and couldn't do anything about it. There was no way she could live without control of her body, period.   
  
X5-452 reported to Renfro's office as ordered first thing in the morning. She motioned for her to sit down. Her eyes were bright and her evil little smirk was once again present. She was looking forward to this meeting much more than Max was. Holding out a folder she began to speak, "You have progressed wonderfully, X5-452. It's time to discuss what you were trained for. Special Ops.   
  
"I briefly told you about your first mission a few days ago. The objective is simple: kill Eyes Only. Here is a folder containing all that we have uncovered and the information provided by you. Look over it and be ready to report at 1200 hours with everything necessary for the mission. You'll leave then and infiltrate Eyes Only in Seattle by tonight. Any questions?"   
  
X5-452 shook her head and accepted the folder from Renfro. She kept it closed, knowing that she had to read over everything by herself. Renfro nodded and smiled. "Dismissed."  
  


*****

  
X5-452 and Max looked over the folder outlining the mission. She was to travel by herself, wearing civilian clothes and arrive in Seattle that evening. It had been revealed that Max and Logan Cale, a.k.a. Eyes Only were friends, even romantically involved. Under the impression of friendship, she would visit him and gain his trust for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night, she was to kill him after gaining any more critical information from him in person, and then from his computer.   
  
Max cried as she saw his blue eyes shining out from the photograph provided in the file. It had been so long it seemed, since the last time she had seen him. Yet it felt like yesterday that they had made love. She remembered everything vividly. The days that followed were still fresh in her mind as well. Tinga, Lydecker, Zack, Krit, and Syl. She had her brothers and sisters with her for a short time, only for her to be captured and Zack to give himself up for her.   
  
For the first time, she allowed herself to wonder how Logan was handling everything. She had died in his arms, or so it had been before they brought her back to Manticore. It was going to hurt him tremendously. She knew he didn't handle pain and loss well, as the paralysis showed. But for his sake, she hoped he wasn't bottling it up like he had over his legs.   
  
The file included everything about him - his home address, phone number, medical reports, a tape of broadcasts and the hover drone footage of his shooting. They had connected him to the accident and pulled up the reports on his paralysis. It was no doubt that they thought it would be an easy mission for her to carry out.   
  
Unfortunately it would be very easy. Logan would see her and would not question her. She knew X5-452 would lie to him, telling him she escaped. That she had been strong and resisted the reprogramming, wanting to come back to him. Even with the exo-skeleton, he wouldn't be able to defend himself. His gun lay in a drawer in his desk, and he wouldn't see it coming. In the end, unless somehow she could stop her body, she would be the one to finally kill Eyes Only.   
  
She may have been only a thief the first night, but in the span of one year - everything had changed.   
  


*****

  
As much as Max was happy to be away from Manticore, every minute she got closer to Seattle that afternoon, she cried even more. Unlike the previous time she had escaped Manticore and her retreat after blowing up the lab, she had left peacefully with no one chasing her. It felt wrong somehow. Now she was on their side, doing as they ordered. But still against her will.   
  
They had given her a motorcycle to ride into Seattle. She relished the feel of power under her even though she was not technically controlling it. As she rode into the city, the familiar sites called out to her. This was home for her and she wanted to stay. She wanted to go to Logan's, eat some of his wonderful food and sip some wine with him, just talking the night away.   
  
She sighed as she realized that wasn't going to happen without a miracle. And she didn't believe in miracles. Or luck. It always came down to her and her only. This wasn't going to be any different.   
  
X5-452 did not waste any time and pulled up to Logan's apartment complex. Taking the elevator, Max steeled herself for the confrontation. Yes, she was about to see Logan, but not in the right frame of mind or good intentions. X5-452 fingered the gun hidden on her then rang the doorbell.   
  
Max finally let her mind wonder to the thoughts of Logan. How was he? Was he in the wheelchair or was he still using the exo-skeleton? He thought she was dead. How would he react? Would he suspect that she had been reprogrammed? But most of all, she just wanted to see his face, his clear blue eyes and that goofy smile.   
  
She held her breath as she waited for the door to open. It took a moment, but there he sat in his wheelchair looking up at her surprised. Shocked. Pure disbelief.   
  
"Max?"   
  
"Hi." _Hi?? That's all she's going to say? Hi?? _  
  
"I... I don't get it. You died in my arms." He looked terrified, as if he was seeing a ghost.   
  
X5-452 replied truthfully, "Zack gave himself up for me. I have his heart." _Truthfully yes, but not so subtle. Yeesh... Talk about telling the man gently. _  
  
He moved back for her to enter the apartment and she cautiously walked in. His eyes followed her and she wondered if he was suspicious.   
  
"You escaped?"   
  
X5-452 nodded. _No!! Don't believe her, Logan!! Go get your gun and shoot me! Shoot me now!! I can't help you Logan, please..._  
  
Logan relaxed a little bit and smiled. "I missed you."   
  
"I missed you too." With those words, Max could feel X5-452 let up a little bit. She felt hopeful that maybe she could break through.   
  
But as the night drove on, she knew that X5-452 had let up only to help the charade. She needed Max's feelings and real world experience to keep the conversation going. It hurt to see Logan's eyes light up as they spoke and laughed. She was leading him on, if only he knew.   
  
They sipped wine over the dinner he whipped up for her. They talked until he yawned and looked at her sheepishly. He wanted to stay up all night to talk with her, spend every moment with her. It was like a dream. A dream he didn't want to end. But she graciously told him it was alright. There was still tomorrow.   
  
_I wish. I wish there could be a tomorrow. _  
  
He was sitting on the couch, listening to some classical music when she kissed him for the first time that night. Like a gentleman, he had held off the entire night. But now, he hungrily sought her as it solidified the image of her and told him that it was no dream.  
  
She pulled back and smiled at him. Tracing his face with her finger she whispered, "Cover your eyes."   
  
A grin escaped him as he obeyed.   
  
Silently she pulled out her gun. Max trembled. _No!! Please no!! _ Standing up, X5-452 took off the safety. With the familiar click, Logan opened his eyes in horror.  
  
"Max?" He whispered.   
  
She shook her head. "She's gone."   
  
X5-452 pulled the trigger. _NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Logan, it wasn't me.   
  
It wasn't me.   
  
It wasn't me.   
  
It wasn't me. _  
  



	4. Déjà Vu

Author's Note 1: Thanks for all the reviews!! Especially Zanna, for reviewing every chapter so far!! I know the last chapter kinda ended umm... well... abruptly, but I hope this helps!  
  
Author's Note 2: After tonight's premiere, I have decided I'm going to live in my land of denial. I'm not going to say any more in case of spoilers, but I'm not happy.  
  
Author's Note 3: On the writing front, I am on chapter 9, but I have not been able to write in good week or so. Things are crazy right now and I hope they will calm down soon so I can continue!  
  
  
Chapter 4 _Déjà Vu  
  
It wasn't me.   
  
Logan, no!!!!_   
  
Gasping, Max opened her eyes to find that she was still in the infirmary. She took in her surroundings, noting the restraints still on her and the medical equipment. With a wave of pain, memories of the last few days sunk in. And the realization that it just been a nightmare where she had killed Logan. She shuddered at the thought. There was no way that she was going to let Renfro know anything about Logan or Eyes Only. If it came down to it, she would make herself forget everything. Logan, Eyes Only, Original Cindy, Bling, Jam Pony - anything and everything.   
  
But the only problem was that she needed them, especially Logan to help her through whatever they planned do to her. He would be the rock; the one thing that would keep her grounded in reality and remind her of what was out there. That she had a life of her own including a job, friends and anything she wanted.   
  
She had to play along with them for a while though, until she could tell what they would do to her. If there was any way to keep her memories of Logan, she was going to find it. Hopefully Victor would be helpful in the days to come and maybe, just maybe they could escape together.   
  
In the meantime, she wasn't going to allow herself to sleep again. The nightmare had been painful and so real. It scared her that she had no control of herself and that they could manipulate her any way they pleased. She only hoped whatever drugs they did give her, she could resist.   
  
Before she could ponder her situation any longer, the solitary door to her room opened. Renfro came in followed by a guard. Max wanted to laugh. Apparently she was still considered dangerous even while restrained and still weak from surgery if Renfro had a guard in the room with her.   
  
"Been resting well?" Renfro asked with a sickeningly sweet smile. She clasped her hands behind her and paced the room a bit before turning back to address Max.   
  
"I was not pleased to hear about your little incident the other day. You gave our lab tech quite a scare, did you know that?" With a stern face and her eyes blazing with anger, she quietly ordered, "You will not do that again, do you understand?   
  
"You are back at Manticore where you belong, and you will stay here. Although you and your siblings managed to damage our facilities, we are capable of continuing our research and to move forward.   
  
"Because of you." Renfro paused to gauge Max's reaction. She gave none to her disappointment.   
  
"You were a busy girl, weren't you? You managed to escape our teams, hook up with your siblings... and you found a guy. I'm impressed. We thought most of the escapees were running around the country. But Lydecker came to the conclusion that you were staying in Seattle. You settled down." Her eyes twinkled as she came to the part that she loved.   
  
Renfro bent down near her and whispered, "You're probably wondering what I meant by the guy, are you not? You see, my dear _Max_, you're pregnant."   
  
Max's eyes widened in shock. _Logan. _   
  
"We've done all kinds of research in creating the X series, and impregnating them to create offspring. But the offspring were never quite successful. Until Tinga. She had an exceptional son. Very bright. We studied Tinga until you interfered. Yet we still have no idea why Case turned out the way he is. You might help us find the answer."   
  
Max trembled. She was pregnant. With Logan's child. And now Manticore had the both of them. She didn't want anything to happen to her baby. She had to escape. There was no time now, they could not be allowed to do anything to her baby.   
  
"Now that we have this unique opportunity, I think we should take advantage of it, don't you think?" Max narrowed her eyes and glared at her.   
  
"It has been decided that while we study you and your baby, we should do so without interference. That is, without genetic manipulation or drugs. We have after all, tried to create X5 offspring before with DNA from the X series. If the natural way works, why mess with it?" Renfro laughed and smiled at Max.   
  
"Of course, a baby born of a X5 and a human will never be quite like the original X5. But we could always improve later, now couldn't we? You never know, you may provide us with the key to creating the perfect soldier."   
  
Renfro stepped back from Max and began pacing again. "Now your pregnancy also presents us a slight problem with your reprogramming. Normally we have drugs to help you along. But the doctors fear it may harm the baby. And we can't let that happen, can we?"   
  
Max breathed a sigh of relief. If there were no drugs or genetic manipulation, she would have more time to escape. It would be awhile before they had anything to study anyway. She was only a few days pregnant, and she knew enough to know that it took time for the fetus to grow. But she still didn't want them touching her baby. _Their baby. It was Logan's too. _   
  
"Because of our choice to perform non-invasive procedures on you, we will have to resort to physical reprogramming. However, you will not train for combat until after the baby is born." She turned to Max and forcibly continued, "Do not think that since we will not be using drugs on you, that you can resist it. We have our ways and I'm proud to say it was not required of Brin to take drugs to become the model soldier she is now."  
  
She turned to the guard and the door before she quietly commented, "Think about it. You may consider this a wise choice to come peacefully. This is your home and you will be well taken care of, as will your baby. You could not find a better place to have your baby, X5-452."   
  
Nodding at the guard, he opened the door and the two of them left Max to think.   
  
But Max's mind was already made up. For the well being of her child and herself, she had to play along with them. She had to become the model soldier just like Brin. Pretend to obey, act, and do anything they wished. In the end she would gain their trust and she could escape.   
  
Somehow though, she had to contact Victor. He was her only link, the only person she could trust. But if he thought she had turned, there went her only chance of his trust. Yet, if drugs were not going to be admitted, how would she see Victor? He was a med tech, that's why he had been there before.   
  
Shaking her head, she realized she had more to worry about than just contacting Victor. They still planned on reprogramming her. Even if no drugs were involved, she still had to resist anything they shot at her. And that's where Logan would help her. If she could just focus on him and block out Manticore, she would make it through.   
  
If they started interrogating her... well she would stay tight-lipped and leave it at that. She had to keep her memories! And she would not betray Logan, her friends, or her siblings. Hopefully they would concentrate on reprogramming her and she would not have to worry about answering any questions.   
  
They might expect answers to their questions after she was supposed to be reprogrammed though. If so, it would give her time to come up with a likely story that they would believe. Max was thankful that they did not plan on her training while she was pregnant. She wasn't ready to battle with her siblings or any of the younger X series. And she still hated guns.   
  


*****

  
Victor knocked nervously on the Director's door. She had summoned him and he knew it had to do with Max. What else would she want from him? More importantly, did she find out that he was helping Max? If she did, they were both in trouble, and he would never see Jace again. But if she was punishing him for what did happen, then again he would be in trouble. He would be no help to Max if the Director felt he was needed somewhere else.   
  
When he entered at her call, he tried to calm his nerves and appear confident and loyal. She turned around in her swivel chair and smiled at him. The smile did not make him feel any better. If anything it just showed who had the upper hand and who did not. It certainly wasn't him. Clasping her hands together, she motioned for him to sit down. Trying not to stumble over his own feet, he sat down and waited for her wrath to start. No one liked meeting with the Director personally. Some were never seen again; they were transferred to another base.   
  
Her smile disappeared, and Victor swallowed nervously. "I was not happy to hear of the stunt X5-452 pulled on you. But I am pleased it was well taken care of and you were not hurt. It was a good thing she was still weak. I am aware that everyone is now scared of her and I had hoped that maybe you could continue to work with her seeing how well you handled the situation."   
  
It was not a question of whether he wanted to work with Max, it was an order. Of course it was an order that Victor was very happy to receive. Though he would not let Renfro know that.   
  
"Yes, ma'am. I will continue to work with her." Victor replied in an even tone, trying not to give away the impression he was pleased, but rather that he was intimidated by her like everyone else. Which was the truth in reality. "Shall I get the new drugs prepared?"  
  
It was only recently that a new system of drugs had been made for the reprogramming of the X5 escapees. They had not been tested yet, and they weren't about to, at least not with him in charge of the drugs. Max would not receive any of the new drugs.   
  
Renfro shook her head. "I thought you had been updated on X5-452's condition. We have found out that she is pregnant. Research will be conducted with no drugs involved. You will provide her with the standard supplements and anything that her pregnancy requires."   
  
Victor had in fact heard that Max was pregnant. He, however, had not heard of what they would do with her. After finding out that Jace was pregnant, he had been extremely happy to know that she had the sense to leave before Manticore could do anything to their child. Now he feared how Max's child would fare. If no drugs were involved, it would hopefully mean that the baby would not become a lab rat until after birth. Study and research during the pregnancy would not hurt it, or he prayed wouldn't.   
  
"You will also assist any relevant testing. I'm not a doctor, but I'm certain blood tests and such will be performed. Can I count on you?" She eyed him carefully, waiting on his response.   
  
"Yes ma'am."   
  
"Good, are there any questions?"   
  
"Will I need to give her daily Tryptophan injections like we did with the last X5?"   
  
Renfro paused, thinking for a moment. "I shall have to consult with the doctors to see if the procedure can be done while she is pregnant. If not, yes you will need to provide her with the Tryptophan."   
  
Victor nodded and wondered if he could leave yet. After staring at him, she nodded back. "Dismissed."   
  
He quickly got up and left the room gratefully. Now that the meeting was over, he could breathe. Hurriedly, he walked back to his office area in the lab. The farther away from her, the better he felt. Besides he needed some peace and quiet to figure out what he had to do now.   
  


*****

  
They began the reprogramming the next day and Max tried her hardest to resist it. But the videos, the pictures, the yelling and screaming were continually thrown at her. She had no peace. Even at night they left tapes going as she slept, like those tapes that people tried to learn a foreign language with, or to correct an annoying habit. In this case, it was trying to break her of her free will, her real life and feelings.   
  
_Duty. Discipline. Teamwork. _   
  
The words rolled off her tongue and it was no problem to pretend as if she had been turned back into a soldier. It scared her that it was turning her, slowing but surely. Yet she kept fighting it, fighting it with her memories, her feelings and everything that Max was as a person.   
  
At times she was able to block out the noise, or to glaze her eyes over when she was forced to watch the videos and slides. She let herself wander back in time and remember times with Logan and Original Cindy.   
  
_ "Stay with me, please?"   
  
"I'm right here."   
  
"You won't leave?"   
  
"I'm not going anywhere." _  
  
It seemed like a lifetime ago, but the memories were still fresh in her mind. He'd always been there for her, and right now she wished today was no different. She promised herself though that one day she was going to see him again.   
  
_ "You could have died putting that bitch in your head, but you did it anyway to get my back. You my boo... For life. No matter what." _   
  
She yearned to just go hang with her home girl, for Original Cindy was truly a best friend. The girl rivaled Logan with her affection and worry for her boo. She may swing for the other team, but nothing came between her and spending time with Max.   
  
So, even though it was tough and at times she wanted to give in just to end the videos and the torment, she just remembered Logan and Original Cindy and knew that she could make it. She would stick it out and act like a perfect soldier, and in the end she would escape. No one was going to get in her way or she would show them what a ticked off genetically engineered girl would do, and it wouldn't be pretty.   
  


*****

  
When Renfro thought Max was well along to being a perfect soldier, she had her watch one final video. The night of their escape. Nightmares of this night plagued her for the past ten years and she didn't want to watch it again. She was saved.   
  
By a seizure.   
  
It was a strong seizure and Max soon lost all sense of reality. It was a few minutes before the seizure was noticed and guards came rushing in the room. As they handled her, she could have sworn it was Logan who was holding her in his arms. Although it was a good thing she was so out of it that she didn't try to start talking to Logan, for then he would have been in trouble.   
  
As it was, all that came out of Max was a little moaning and groaning as her body shook with the tremors of the seizure. It took four guards to hold her down; by the time they had her restrained in the infirmary, she had lost consciousness.   
  
Renfro walked in a few minutes later and looked at the doctors who were rushing around the room. One doctor immediately came over and reported, "She had a seizure, and she's lost consciousness. We've injected her with Tryptophan, but we don't know how long it will last. The seizure was very intense."   
  
"I want the procedure performed as soon as possible. I don't want anything to happen to the baby if she keeps having these seizures." She looked him straight in the eye.   
  
He nodded and quickly responded, "It will be safest to do it tomorrow, after she's had time to recover from the seizure. We can perform it first thing in the morning."   
  
"Keep me informed." With that, she spun around and left the room, much to the doctor's relief.   
  


*****

  
Max woke up the next afternoon in the infirmary and quickly panicked. Was something wrong with the baby? A moment later she remembered the seizure and relaxed, but then worried that it might have harmed the baby. The nurse closest to her noticed that she was awake and went to retrieve a doctor.   
  
The doctor who had reported to Renfro walked in and greeted Max. "You're up, good. We administered Tryptophan after your seizure yesterday and kept you sedated. This morning we performed a procedure to fix your serotonin problem. Don't worry about the baby, it's probably too early for anything to have harmed it. Later on in the pregnancy, possibly, but not yet. We also removed the implant that was lodged in your neck. It could have been affecting your seizures as well.   
  
Max nodded slowly. "Thanks."   
  
He smiled back at her. "Your welcome. Now just rest up and we'll see when you can be released back to your room and work."   
  
As he left, Max closed her eyes. She didn't want to go back to her room and watch the videos again. She wanted to go home. To Logan's waiting arms. He didn't know about the baby, and it hurt to think that if she couldn't escape, he would never know. Nor would he know that she was still alive.   
  
But she had to remain positive and optimistic. As long as she resisted the reprogramming, then she would keep trying to escape or somehow contact him to let him know. If anything, maybe he could find some of her siblings to get her out. It would be hard, and maybe not worth their lives, but she could hope.   
  
The idea of Logan and her siblings saving her had occurred to her from the very beginning but she had buried it quickly knowing that it was far fetched. Logan and the others thought she was dead, and barring a miracle - that wouldn't change. So she had buried the hopeful but unrealistic idea away. Max had to concentrate on the present and what she could do to escape, and that meant Victor.   
  


*****

  
Victor sat in his small office space, which was more like a cubicle than an actual office, pondering his choices. He didn't have many. Although Max was lucky she was not receiving drugs, she was still at Manticore and under guard. A plan was needed and it had to be something he could easily execute. Max may be genetically engineered, but he was not. And Manticore was a tough place to leave, so even muscle was worth little. No, the plan had to be quiet, thought-out, and untraceable. They would have to sneak out with no one noticing or caring. The latter was unlikely.   
  
Some colleagues walked in the lab and he sat up straight, quickly trying to find something to work on. Their voices carried over to him and he listened in to make sure nothing of his exploits had been detected.   
  
"How was he today?"   
  
"Wild. The guards had to hold him down while I gave him the sedative. I like it better when he's in another world and docile, than when he's like an animal."   
  
"Has he attacked you like the female attacked Victor?"   
  
"No, the guards are always there to make sure nothing happens."   
  
"Aren't they going to reprogram him?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm supposed to start the new drugs tomorrow. I hope they work; I'm getting tired of doing the nurse's work. If they felt it was unsafe for a woman to be in with him, why was I stuck with it? The guards hold him down, I don't know why the nurses couldn't do it."   
  
"Well, unfortunately you can't voice your complaints. I don't think you want to get on Renfro's bad side."   
  
"Heck, I don't even want to see her! Did you hear Victor was called in to see her? How much do you want to bet she's mad about that incident the other day?"   
  
"No bet there, man."   
  
Their voices drifted off as they walked further back in the lab. Neither one had noticed he was there, and he suspected they thought he was ousted by Renfro. He was still surprised of the outcome of his meeting with her. Never would he have thought of coming back with good news rather than bad news.   
  
But Victor had forgotten about the other X5 that had been brought in after the raid. If he was going to get Max out, he had to plan to get the male X5 as well. They were going to reprogram him with the new drugs. He didn't know how soon they could escape, so that meant he had to find a way to switch his drugs too. He only hoped that his colleague in charge of the X5 wouldn't notice any switches. Maybe they would deem the new drugs a failure if he didn't show improvement within a few days or weeks if necessary.   
  
The only thing he was certain of was that he had to work fast and quietly. With that thought in mind and a surge of confidence, he went to work on switching the drugs for the second X5.   
  


*****

  
Max felt like she deserved an Oscar after her recent performance for Renfro. It had been her final test to see if she was completely reprogrammed and she had passed with flying colors. She had been cold, emotionless and quick to answer any order or question. They had only given her one day to recuperate after her seizure and subsequent surgery and Max had used it to focus herself. Although the past days had started to get to her and the soldier in her was beginning to come out, she reminded herself of Logan, and who she really was. There was no way they'd win. She'd fight them till the end and never become the soldier they wanted.   
  
At the moment, she was walking freely around the base to the room she had been ordered this morning. It was a meeting with Renfro; that she knew. But beyond that, she had no clue. The pregnancy had dramatically changed her expectations of her new temporary life at Manticore. Thankfully nothing physical was required of her, yet she knew she wouldn't just be sitting around for nine months. Or however long she stayed until she escaped, Max thought with a silent laugh.   
  
Reaching the designated room, she took a deep breath before entering and willed herself the patience and confidence to act her part and not kill her on the spot. Inside she found Renfro already waiting for her. Without a word, she pointed for Max to sit.   
  
Max took her seat and sat up straight at the lone desk in the room, looking forward without moving a muscle. Renfro stood in front of her holding a file in her hands. Unlike the first visits after the raid, there was no air of taunting or a superior attitude. For Max was now a soldier, X5-452, and not Max the helpless, reckless girl who had tried to bring them down. Or so Renfro thought.   
  
Renfro waited a moment before speaking, then crisply began her planned speech. "As you are aware, you are on non-active duty for the remainder of your pregnancy. But I do not wish to waste your talents during these months. You were not just genetically engineered to fight, but you were also engineered to be very intelligent. Your objective now has changed. I have a specific problem that our people have not been able to work out."   
  
Max stared blankly at her and wondered what this whole spiel was about. Planning, tactics, what did they want to do with her? She was not a scientist and she refused to help their research and genetic work as they tried to rebuild Manticore.   
  
"We have acquired a new enemy lately and no one has been able to track him down. We have yet to even identify him or people who work for him." She paused then looked at Max and smiled. "You might be aware of him. He is quite famous where you came from.   
  
"He calls himself 'Eyes Only.'"   
  
Max's stomach lurched and she felt as if a pile of bricks had been dumped on her and every bone in her body was broken, leaving her no way to escape. _Not again. This can't be happening. _ Keeping her face void, she nodded. "I have seen his cable hacks."   
  
Renfro's smile dropped and she continued, "Ah, yes. His cable hacks. They are our only evidence of him. No other trace of him has been found. He is quite elusive. Are you aware that he knows of us, of you? I'm sure you caught his hack that warned you and your siblings. We're not quite sure what he knows and if he knows one of your siblings in person. Or you? Do you know him, X5-452?" She waited anxiously for her answer.  
  
Max shook her head. "No ma'am. I only heard his message." Inwardly she choked. She had been right there when Logan had sent out the hack. Zack had been furious that Logan was the one saving his hide, but he made no mention that he knew it was the only way.   
  
She frowned at her response but nodded as though she had expected it. "Well then, in any case, we have not found him. Our computer experts have been working, without success, trying to trace his cable hacks. This is where you will come in. I believe with your superior intelligence and training, you will be able to resolve our problem."   
  
The folder that she had been holding the entire time flopped on the table as she threw it down. "Here is some background information on Eyes Only. You will meet with the computer staff and see what they have done so far. A room is being set up as we speak with all the necessary equipment so that you may work alone in silence." Walking straight to Max, she stopped right in front of her and placed her hands forcefully on the table. Looking directly at Max's eyes, she sternly ordered, "I want him found."   
  



	5. In Memoriam

Author's Note: This chapter is essentially filler. But there were some things I wanted to cover and get out. A lot to do with Logan's accident and his feelings. I know everyone is divided on whether they like him in the chair or walking. For me, I think what hooked me to this show was at the end of the Pilot when I saw him in the wheelchair. I like to see a character's flaws, their weaknesses. And a disability is a true test of the character. So any story you'll read from me will have Logan in the wheelchair showing that life can be lived that way unless I feel it is utmost important to have him walking. Of course I know the show has him up and walking with the darn exo-skeleton, and if and when I write canon stories, I'll abide by what the writers have set forth. But for now...   
  
Ok, that's a pretty long author's note, so I'll shut up. Enjoy!!   
  
  
Chapter 5 _In Memoriam_  
  
Krit and Syl stayed in Seattle after the funeral. They thought it would be a good idea to watch over Logan for awhile and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. The past week he had been very quiet and drawn in. He only talked to them infrequently and went about making the arrangements for the funeral. The funeral had been his idea and he had insisted that they honor Max properly. They had argued that they did not have her body, but he would have nothing of it. When they pointed out it wasn't good to publicly say anything about her because of Manticore, he had calmly replied that she was dead and Manticore couldn't do anything about it.   
  
So in the end they all went to her funeral and said their goodbyes to their sister and friend.   
  
Now they worried that Logan would break down after the funeral. From what they had seen, Max had been what kept Logan going in his life. He had cared about her so much and only recently realized that he had loved her too. At the moment, they were discussing this issue while he was still sleeping on the morning after the funeral.   
  
Sitting at the bar, there were already plates and cups discarded from their early breakfast. They hadn't waited for Logan to cook for them; they had been hungry.   
  
"I think we should just try to talk to him. He's a reasonable man." Krit suggested.   
  
Syl shook her head, putting down her coffee mug. "Talking is not going to work just yet. It's too early. The wounds are still raw and they need to heal first."   
  
"But what if they don't heal?" Krit replied, snatching the last piece of bacon off of her plate. Syl slapped his hand but he just pulled away and grinned.   
  
They looked up at Bling as he came into the kitchen. "Hey Bling." Krit greeted him.  
  
"Hey, I see you didn't wait on breakfast." He pointed to the plates as he went to pour himself a cup of coffee that was sitting in the machine. Logan had long ago told him to feel free to anything in his apartment, food and computer.   
  
"Yeah, we were hungry and didn't feel like waiting on Logan," Krit replied with a huge grin. He lived by what he ate. This morning was not an exception.   
  
"Speaking of Logan... Bling we're worried about him. Do you think he might try to-" Syl started to ask Bling about their earlier concern.   
  
"Kill himself?" Bling asked, and the two of them nodded. "It's a chance. A few months ago he almost went through with it."   
  
That surprised Krit and Syl. They looked at each other nervously. It was more serious than they had originally thought.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
Bling sighed. "Logan received a blood transfusion from Max in December. A couple months later, he had some feeling in his toes. It turns out your blood has more stem cells in it than a normal human's. It was regenerating his spinal cord. So Max gave him another transfusion. It worked. Logan was up and walking in a week."   
  
Krit and Syl looked at him curiously. This they did not expect. Nor did they know that their blood had that kind of power. But it was obvious it did not last, seeing that Logan was in the wheelchair.   
  
"It didn't last?" Syl asked.   
  
Bling shook his head. "No, it did not. His body started rejecting Max's blood cells. Everything that had been repaired was falling apart again. Logan was back in the wheelchair in a few days."   
  
"So after a taste of freedom, he lost it. He didn't want to live in the wheelchair anymore?"   
  
"Exactly."   
  
"What stopped him?"   
  
"From what Max told me, because Logan never discussed it with me, there had been an accident upstairs. His neighbor had fallen down and the sink overflowed. Max found him afterwards, a gun and bullets already lying out on his desk. But he put them away telling her that everything was okay."   
  
"Was he really okay?"   
  
"It hit him hard, but I think he realized that Max cared enough for him, so he kept going. But I don't think he ever got over the loss of his legs again. You saw the exo-skeleton he had been using. He worked for weeks trying to fix it. Although he had accepted the fact that the wheelchair was part of his life again, he would try anything to walk again."   
  
"But didn't he mention that it was all for Max?" Syl asked, remembering Logan's outburst a week ago.   
  
Bling nodded. "I think in the end it was all for Max, and not as much for him. If his walking would make her happy, he would do it. Things had changed enough to show him that his life was alright with the wheelchair, but he felt the need to give it to Max."  
  
"And now..."  
  
"And now she's gone." Bling filled in. "Anything could happen now. Max is gone and he's in the chair again. He might regress back to the depression he was in after the accident. At that time, Max wasn't around so he was very pissy."  
  
Syl's eyebrows raised at that comment. "When did Max meet him then?"   
  
"Oh, they met before the accident briefly but she didn't show up again till three months after. So those first few months were a struggle for him. Not just the fact that he suddenly lost his legs, but also that he had no one to talk to besides me. And then Max did show up and there he was in the chair. It hurt him, but he tried to keep a good face on because he knew she didn't need the guilt or pain with her life as it was."   
  
"He thought it was her fault?" Krit asked incredulously.   
  
Bling hesitated and tried to phrase his words carefully. "He doesn't think it's her fault. But he sometimes wonders what would have happened differently if Max had been involved that day."   
  
"How bad might he be if he regresses to his depression? Was he ready to kill himself after the accident too? It wouldn't be surprising after such a life changing injury."   
  
Taking in a deep breath, Bling looked at them seriously. "Words cannot describe the pain and anger Logan felt then. I had previously encountered patients after accidents but this was worse than any case I've ever had. Some people blame others and let out their anger that way, but others think it's their fault and become depressed. Logan had both. He knew it wasn't his fault but at the same time he did blame himself for the deaths of others that night. One day he openly admitted that the paralysis was his punishment."  
  
Silence fell over the room as Krit and Syl digested this disturbing information about their new friend. They had worried about him but didn't know his pain went that deep.   
  
"Do you think we should hide his gun?" Syl broke the silence. They looked at each other anxiously, the worry evident on their faces.   
  
"It may be a good idea for a little while, just to see how he handles everything." Bling nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.   
  
"I don't need babysitters and I'm certainly not going to kill myself."   
  
Bling looked up from his mug as Krit and Syl turned around to see Logan sitting there. Krit and Syl glanced at each other and shifted nervously in their seats. They hadn't expected Logan to wake up for awhile. Or even to get out of bed. He had gone straight to his room right after the funeral and had never come out. Until now. And now they didn't know what to expect from him.   
  
But it was obvious he was not happy to hear them talking about him. Anger was written clearly across his face from his clenched jaw to his eyes. Unlike most days where his eyes were clear and sparkling with life, they were now fiery and dark with rage.   
  
Without another word to them, he forcefully pushed himself over to the lower cabinets. Awkwardly he positioned himself to where he could open one and pulled out a mug. Making his way to the coffee maker on the counter, with the mug between his legs, he poured a cup and returned it to its place between his legs. Not even glancing at them, he left the kitchen and rolled to his office.   
  
Krit and Syl watched Logan with unease. He was angry, that was for sure, but what was he planning on doing? As he sat the hot mug between his legs, they unconsciously winced. It was unnerving to see the mug in his lap for it was very hot, but since he couldn't feel anything, they knew it would not affect him.   
  
All three glanced at each other as they watched him leave and slowly one by one they followed him to his office. It was Bling who broached Logan first.   
  
"Logan, are you sure you want to start working again?"   
  
Logan turned his wheelchair to face Bling. Krit and Syl stood behind him. "Look, it's been a week. I know it doesn't seem like long, but what do you want me to do? Do you want me to be depressed and get drunk? Just now you were talking about hiding my gun so I wouldn't kill myself."   
  
"Logan..." Bling started.   
  
Logan shook his head. "Bling, I've handled death before. Yes, I'm still grieving, but I've learned I have to go on with my life. My parents died when I was fifteen. It took me a long time to get over it, but I had to. I was forced to live with an aunt and uncle who didn't even want to speak of my parents. So my grief was private. As is now."   
  
Turning back towards the computer, he added, "Besides, Max is dead, not Eyes Only. I have work to do."   
  
"The world can wait awhile, Logan."   
  
Abruptly turning around, Logan glared at Bling. "Oh, can it? I lost plenty of time last year after the accident and I don't want to do that now. What else am I supposed to do anyway? Seeing as my leisure activities are sparse since all I can do is just sit around all day." Lowering his voice, he looked Bling in the face. "I need to do something with my time, Bling. I need something to keep my mind off of her and the pain."   
  
With a sigh, Bling nodded. "Will you at least eat some breakfast? You got a skinny butt as it is. I need you alive and healthy so I can whip your sorry body into shape." He smiled at Logan to tell him he understood and would not push him any further.   
  
Logan grinned and let out a laugh. "Now that wouldn't be good for you, would it? You would miss those long workout sessions. I personally think you love my skinny white butt."   
  
Collectively, Krit and Syl let out their breaths. If they could keep Logan in a good mood, everything would be okay. As he said, he was still grieving, just privately. And he was not going to kill himself. Which was a plus. If Logan needed to work in order to forget about the pain, then so be it. The news that he was Eyes Only surprised them, but they would ask about it later. At the moment, they just followed Logan and Bling in the kitchen and waited to see how the next few days would go by.   
  


*****

  
Logan sat at his computer sifting through new information passed along the Informant Net. Every once in awhile he would pass Max's file, but he didn't allow himself to open it. It was painful enough knowing she wouldn't be popping in and peeking over his shoulder; he didn't need to see the few reminders of her that he had left. So he continued on working, researching and pulling together a case against a local crime boss.   
  
But her file kept tempting him. Finally he opened it and stared long and hard at the only picture he had of her. It was the surveillance picture off of the next building from when he had tracked her down after she had tried to rob him. Unconsciously tears streamed down his face as he remembered that night. He had been so uptight and nervous about the impending transfer of Lauren and Sophy. And she had just snuck in without a word. It had been a relief to know she wasn't after him or the girls. Just his money. Typical. He had always been warned against girls that would go after his money while he was growing up and especially after the Pulse hit. Yet Max never asked for money again, well except for the time she needed to get info out of Vogelsang.   
  
That night though, she had found a way into his heart. And she never left. Nor would she ever. He knew it would be awhile before things would be easier, but for now it was hard to know she was gone and he had to go on without her. The first three months after the accident, it had been difficult to adjust and live by himself after all the activity and people surrounding him prior to it, but in a way he felt angry that she wasn't there. She had just popped into his life and for some reason he needed her. Like he needed her now. But this time he knew she wasn't just avoiding him and living a few miles away.   
  
No, Max was dead and he had work to do. So he closed the window with her file and picture and went back to work. He tried to concentrate on his work but found himself thinking about how Max could kick his butt. As much as she claimed she didn't care about helping out the world, she enjoyed the time she could kick butt and help people. He had seen it in her eyes. She had been so happy when they got Maria out of the warden's home and off to a better place.   
  
It wasn't long before he had pulled up her picture again and longingly remembered all their time together. Every time she beat him in chess and every meal he cooked for her. The times when she teased him about his poetry, and her eyes when she read the poem about her. She took the poem in the end, a sign that her walls were crumbling. He had tried so hard that year to break down her solid walls around her. They had fallen too late. With a sigh, he closed her file again.   
  
An hour later he was staring at her picture again. Work would only mask the pain for so long. He couldn't forget the past week and the work was only making him mourn her even more for he was doing it alone, without her. They should have been planning on how to pin this new guy, or how Max would steal something from his place. Instead he was barely researching at all, his mind clouding over with grief and the constant need to look at her picture.   
  
He was still staring at her when he felt someone behind him. Startled, he turned his head to see who had snuck up on him. Syl stood there looking over his shoulder at Max's picture. She smiled weakly at him when he noticed her.   
  
"Sorry to startle you. I knocked but you didn't answer. I can see why." She pointed to the picture. "How did you two meet?"   
  
Logan glanced at the picture before turning back to Syl, "Oh, uh... Well she tried to rob me." He smiled at the memory and moved his chair to face her. Motioning to a chair nearby, he waited for her to sit down.   
  
"This is a picture of her the day we met. She had a delivery at the building and she saw my apartment was worth looking in to, specifically for a statue. That night she broke in through the skylight, but my bodyguards noticed the entry. She took them out with no problem." Logan laughed, and Syl joined him. It was so obvious now that she could handle any guy with ease.   
  
"I had guests over and they screamed when she found herself in their room. Their screaming alerted me and I pulled a gun on her and found out she was there for the statue. Things had been tense lately and I thought she had been there for... my guests." Logan stumbled.   
  
Syl nodded. "You said you were Eyes Only. I take it this was something related to it?"  
  
"Yes. They were witnesses. But that's another story." He quieted at the mention of Eyes Only but remembered that he had told them inadvertently that morning. It didn't matter; he trusted them. His lips quirked as he remembered the rest of the night. "Max ended up leaping out of the window and landing on her feet several stories down. I knew there was something different about her. In fact I had heard rumors about Manticore and the escapees. I tracked her down through surveillance and found that picture of her. It led me to where she worked, Jam Pony. I caught up with her the next night at a bar. We talked for awhile but at the first opportunity she disappeared into the night."   
  
"We disappear pretty well. It's in our nature." Syl remarked, smiling as she thought of Max that night sneaking away from Logan. It was comforting to hear about her long lost sister.   
  
Logan chuckled. "Indeed. But we met up again. I left the Bast statue at her apartment. She showed up at my place as I was putting the finishing touches on dinner."   
  
Syl gaped at Logan. "You set her up?"   
  
"How else was I supposed to get her over here?" Logan answered with a sly grin. "I needed to talk to her. Confirm my suspicions about Manticore."   
  
"And how exactly did you get her to tell you that she was a genetically engineered soldier? I don't think Max would just let that out to a stranger." Syl asked, eyebrows raised. She had never told anyone, no matter how close she got to them. Of course, no one had seen her perform an inhuman act like Logan had. It would arouse suspicion.  
  
With a slight cough, Logan brought his arm up and fiddled with his glasses. "I, um... flirted with her and managed to catch a glimpse of her neck. I confronted her and told her I could help her find you and your siblings. In exchange I asked for her help as well."  
  
"For Eyes Only?" Syl guessed. Inwardly she laughed at the thought of Logan flirting around with Max. She just didn't seem the type to respond to outward flirting. If it had been her, she would have punched the guy in the face or possibly even worse. But apparently Logan was still alive to tell the tale, so nothing horrible happened.   
  
Logan nodded. "I was putting Lauren and Sophy, my guests, into witness protection. I wanted Max's help. But she refused. I didn't see her for another three months." It was easy to talk about Eyes Only and Max, but he knew where the conversation would turn to and he didn't know if he was ready or not.   
  
Taking in his silence, Syl assumed this had been when he was injured, like Bling had mentioned. Gently she asked, "Your accident?"   
  
Raking a hand through his hair and taking off his glasses, Logan nodded. In his head, he could picture the scene on the street. "We were stopped outside the building when they rammed our car. Peter took Lauren but he was shot. Lauren managed to run while I took Sophy, her daughter, but I was shot in the back. I fell with her underneath me, but they turned me over and took her. Or at least that's what the hoverdrone video says happened. I really don't remember much."   
  
"Did you know right away that you were paralyzed?"   
  
Logan shook his head. It was hard to recount that day, but someday he would get over it. Maybe today Syl would help him do that. His voice was shaky but he quietly answered her, "All I felt was pain. I really wasn't moving because of the pain, not because I couldn't feel my legs. I lost consciousness not too soon after so I don't recall everything that happened. I woke up days later in the hospital."   
  
Syl noticed his paling face, eyes about to tear and softly said, "Is this too hard for you to talk about? If so, you don't have to tell me. I really had only wanted to hear about Max anyway."   
  
Rubbing his eyes and putting his glasses back on, Logan cleared his throat and replied, "No, I need to get it out. I've barely talked to Bling about it and never with Max. I usually try to avoid the subject altogether, even though it's staring me in the face everyday. It's been a year since I was shot, but it's still very fresh for me and very painful."   
  
Pausing, he took a breath and began to retell his memories of the first few days for the first time. "When I woke up I was very disoriented and still in pain. But it didn't take me long to notice that I couldn't move. I didn't quite understand at the time, but after Sam, my doctor, explained things I was in denial. I pretty much fell out of bed trying to prove them wrong. After that I went into shock basically. For a few days I didn't talk to anyone, nor did I hear or see anything that was going on around me. I was in my own little world. I vaguely remember the nurses talking about a girl moving me out of my last room. Which ironically had been blown up. They were wondering if she or anyone else was going to visit me. I guess in my mind, I realized that Max had been there. It was enough to snap me out of it. It was a couple more weeks before I began therapy. Usually I would have gone to a rehabilitation center before the Pulse, but they couldn't stay up and running because no one could afford it. So Bling was assigned to me there at the hospital and it was a couple months later that I finally came home.   
  
"When I came back to the living after my days of shock, I fully realized what had happened to me. It was scary at first that I could not control them. I could not even feel them or anyone else touching them." Unconsciously Logan ran his hands down his legs, only feeling the fabric of his pants brush under his fingers. "At the same time I knew I was the only one left alive. Peter was dead and I had believed the same of Lauren and Sophy. That hurt more than the loss of my legs. Their lives had been in my hands and I did not protect them."   
  
Staring slightly off into space, taking his eyes off of Syl, he explained, "I found out a month later that Lauren and Sophy were not dead. Max somehow took care of things and nailed Sonrisa."   
  
Suddenly he chuckled. Looking back at Syl, he said, "I should have known things wouldn't go right. I had thought myself invincible, the great Eyes Only. Who would have thought it would happen to me? A couple days before the accident I sent out a broadcast about Sonrisa. I already knew journalists had been shot down in the streets for trying to expose him. I just never thought I would be on the end of it too."   
  
"What's it like?" Syl asked curiously.   
  
Logan frowned. "Nothing. Complete nothing." He placed a finger on his lower abdomen and said, "This is where my feeling stops. I can feel nothing below it. I can't even feel myself sitting in this chair. All I feel is my back against the chair. In a way it's like I'm floating in mid-air. Except I know better. I suppose you can't imagine it since you're suped up. Though, I think it's hard for anyone to imagine. You take advantage of your legs and don't think about them.   
  
"But it's not just the loss of sensation that's hard, it's the changes in your life. This chair is my only independence. But with it, there are still limitations. I have to work hard to use it, to get around with ease and to just physically take care of my body. They may be dead weight, but if I ever hope to walk again, they have to be stretched and worked daily so they don't atrophy. It's taken me awhile to fully accept that I'll never walk again. The wheelchair and I are one and that's the way my life will be until modern medicine finds a cure."   
  
"I'm sorry our blood didn't heal you permanently."   
  
Logan was mildly surprised but nodded. "Bling told you, huh?" Syl grinned. "Well, I should have realized that it was too much to hope for, so soon anyway. In a way it was harder losing my legs then than the first time. I had already felt or rather I had not felt them and lived with the nothingness. Then I gained my legs and a taste of something that I hadn't experienced in a long time."   
  
He shrugged, letting his hands fall in his lap. In a calm voice he conceded, "But it's the price I pay for what I do. At least I'm still alive, and have a place to live and enough money to put food on the table... I would give it all up though just to have Max back again."   
  
"You'll see her again one day, Logan." She tried to comfort him. Max's death was tearing him apart, that was obvious, but she knew the pain would eat at him until he accepted it.   
  
"But I don't want to wait that long."   
  
It was like looking at a little lost boy, he was so depressed and vulnerable. His eyes had turned red during their conversation and there were tear streaks running down his cheeks.  
  
"Time will go by and things will get easier, I promise you." Syl just wanted to hold him in her arms, she felt that strong a need to help him through this rough time. As a child she had wanted to talk to someone about Eva's death and everything she had seen at Manticore. But there had been no one once they had escaped. She knew how important it was to talk to someone to help after a loved one's death.   
  
Logan looked at her strangely. "How are you being so strong? You just lost three siblings."   
  
Syl's face dropped for a second before she smiled gently. "I guess it's because I haven't been as close to them for the past ten years as you were with Max this past year. I know I'll see them again too, and one day we'll all be together and we'll have an X5 reunion with no pressure. What really helps me is that I have them in here." Syl held her hand over her heart. "You have to remember that Logan. It doesn't matter that she's gone; you still have all your memories and your love for her."   
  
"I miss her so much," he whispered. It was hard to openly talk about her in the passive. And it was even harder to keep the strong face up in front of the others. Admitting that she was gone and that he missed her was all it took for him to start crying. Tears flowed from his cheeks and he tried to brush them away, but they kept coming.   
  
"I know, Logan. But life will go on; I think that's a lesson you learned after your accident. It may seem not seem like it will, but it does and you learn to deal with your loss. Day by day, that's all you have to think about right now."   
  
"It took me months to get to that point." He took in a deep breath and slowed his breathing, calming down enough for the tears to stop.   
  
"You'll make it, Logan, I know you can. It might take days, weeks, or months, but one day you'll think of her and smile, remembering her in a good light, not her death."   
  
With a sigh, he smiled weakly at her. "I can hope."   
  
"Yes, you can hope, but before you know it, that day will come and there will be a weight lifted off your shoulders."   
  
"Thank you, Syl. I know I haven't been up to talking this past week, but this was helpful."   
  
"No problem. Just remember, I'm fairly new at the whole feelings and emotion bit too. I've learned as I went along these past few years." Syl stood up to leave. She knew that he still needed time to himself to digest these new thoughts and feelings that were coming out.   
  
Syl turned at the door and faced him. "Logan, I always wanted to thank Eyes Only for warning us that day."   
  
Logan smiled as his hands went for the brakes on his chair. "You're welcome. Anything for Max's family."   
  
"You were her family too, Logan." With one last smile, Syl pivoted and left the room.  
  
Pushing his way to his desk, he glanced at Max's picture still on his computer monitor, fingered her face and whispered, "You were my family too, Max. We'll be together one day, I promise."   
  
  



	6. Hormones

Note: Sorry for making you wait, but real life intervened in both my life and my beta's life. As for the next and upcoming chapters - wait. Things are going to go slower now. As of right now, I am stuck on chapter 9. School was kinda crazy up until today and I hope it won't start up again. I really do want to work on this story!!   
  
Chapter 6 _Hormones  
  
Two Months Later_  
  
A sharp knock sounded on the door. Max looked up from the computer screen to glance at the clock. Precisely noon. Lunch time. She barked out the usual order. "Enter!"   
  
Victor stepped in with the tray of lunch and requisite vitamins and pills. She stood up, stretching her limbs after sitting for the whole morning. Making her way over to the table set up for her to eat on, she gave him a smile. It was routine now, he delivered her meals three times a day. Along with the vitamins they had her taking so the baby would be healthy. He reassured her that it was strictly vitamins they had her on and promised to tell her otherwise if they changed anything. Of course if they did change anything, he promised her he'd make sure he'd swap them too.   
  
It was a comfort knowing he was on her side and nothing would get past her or to her baby. Everyday she was thankful that her baby was the 'control,' or the non-experimented on subject. Although she knew that if she was to stay, her 'next' baby would not be so lucky. But there was no way she was going to stay and let them give her another baby. She was happy that her baby was made out of love and not from science. Even though she knew her baby would be enhanced like Case, it would not be tinkered with or raised as a soldier.   
  
Max could already imagine raising her child the way she wished she had been, in an environment suited for a kid, not a military base. Specifically she imagined Logan's apartment, the guest room made into a nursery and toys lying around on the floor. It wasn't hard to think of Logan as a father; she knew he would be the doting dad that she never had. He would also spoil the kid like nothing else. The Cale money might not be as plentiful, but no expense would be spared. The mental picture of him holding a tiny baby was what she hoped for most. The two of them together, raising their child. It was strange to think of herself as a mother, but knowing a life was forming within her already, she was ready.   
  
A rare grin crossed her face, but she quickly dropped it because of the cameras in the room. They might trust her enough to leave her alone, but they were still watching her. It had taken a few weeks for Victor to confirm that no audio devices were in the room and they were able to talk freely. Although they tried to keep everything very low key and nothing too emotional, cameras still taped how they acted.   
  
Victor caught her grin and knew her mind wasn't on Manticore or her work. He knew how she felt about being a future parent and couldn't wait to set foot outside of Manticore and start a family. Of course hormones were also playing a part in her newfound happiness and she knew to play them down. If she were ever seen unable to work because of her hormones and pregnancy, she would be kept in solitary for the rest of the nine months. Every week he had to report to Renfro on her health and attitude. He made sure his accounts were sufficient to keep Max working and his assignment with her open, but he also tried to make them believable. No one would believe a pregnant woman not to be somewhat hormonal, even for a Manticore bred soldier.   
  
Max sat down at the table with Victor and laughed when she saw what was on her plate. "A pickle?"   
  
Victor grinned. "I managed to bribe the chef to sneak one on your tray. I know you've been having cravings for pickles and thought this might help. Now, I hope you don't get too weird of cravings because there's only so much I can bribe this guy and get away with. Eventually someone would notice the alterations to your diet."   
  
"Diet?" She snorted. "What kind of diet is military rations for a pregnant woman? I'm just glad I can keep it down now. It was bad enough when I had morning sickness and I tossed it up and had to eat it a second time."   
  
"Well, I don't think you can complain. You're supposed to be reprogrammed and you don't want to attract any attention." He pointed out.   
  
Max sighed and with her fork, picked at her food. "I know. I just wish I could get some decent food!! Don't they expect me to gain any weight for this baby?! I mean, isn't it medically important for me to have extra weight for the kid? They should at least be worried about what I'm eating if they want this baby so much. Not that they're going to get it, but they don't exactly know that. They just want me to be a perfect soldier, X5-452. Do this, or do that, but don't think about it!! You're not supposed to think for yourself, just do what we tell you. I swear, they think I'm one of their hive mind X7's. You know, I'm not stupid! I have to think on my own if they expect me to find Eyes Only for them. Little do they know that I'm not going to willingly give them the man I love, and the father of my baby... of course they don't know that either, but I just wish I could get some decent food!"   
  
Victor interrupted her, leaning across to her briefly, wide eyed. "You mean you know Eyes Only?? He's the father?!"   
  
Max glared at him and he quickly sat back. No emotion or closeness between the two should be recorded on the video cameras. If anyone suspected that they got along and there was something going on between the two, then Victor would be pulled and there would be little chance of escape.   
  
"Yes I know him, and I'm not about to let Renfro get her hands on him."   
  
"But I thought you were going to give him to her? You mentioned before that in order to escape, you had to give them Eyes Only." He looked at her puzzled, wondering if the hormones were getting to her at this early of stage in her pregnancy.   
  
"They'll think what I give them is Eyes Only. You see, there's a reason I was put on this assignment. He's hard to trace. No one could find him before, so Renfro thought with my superior intelligence I could easily track him down. But the beauty of the situation is that unlike Lydecker who cared about strategy and how you accomplished your mission, Renfro only cares about the results. So she won't know how exactly I found Eyes Only."   
  
Understanding dawned in Victor's eyes and he smiled weakly. "You're going to trick her."   
  
Max nodded, "Simply put, yes. I'm going to make it look like I traced Eyes Only's broadcasts and hacked into his computer. Renfro's going to be too happy to have him to ask how I did it."   
  
"But how long will it take you?"   
  
"I figure I have to make it look like it did take me some time and I honestly worked on it. So far, I'm halfway there. I know if anything goes wrong, I can't be too far along with my pregnancy to escape."   
  
"Do you think another two months will make Renfro anxious though?"   
  
"Well, I hope to string her along, telling her little bits and pieces of progress I'm making when she asks during our weekly meetings. So far I haven't had to tell her much, seeing that it's still the beginning. She knows that it will take some time since the computer guys here worked on it for months. Even with my genetics, it's tedious work. That is, if I were to actually try and trace his broadcasts." She gave Victor a small smile.   
  
He pointed to her near empty tray of food. "I guess even for tasteless food, you were hungry?"   
  
Max looked down at the tray then shrugged. "I don't want to starve. Sure I've craving pickles and chocolate covered pretzels, but I'll take what I get. I'll just have to wait until I get out to have some decent food, namely a culinary miracle from Eyes Only. He's unbelievably good in the kitchen."   
  
"You'll have to tell me about him sometime. That's if you're okay with it." He stood up, and reached for her tray. "I'll see you later tonight."   
  
"Later."   
  
After Victor left the room, Max stood up from the table and walked back to the computer. Sitting down and looking over her latest work, she knew it wasn't as simple as what she told Victor. In the most basic sense, it was a trick. Just a very elaborate trick that was taking a lot of time. She knew he was disappointed to hear that it would take another two months before they could escape. She was disappointed too, for she wanted to see Logan again and tell him about the baby. He should be there to witness the whole pregnancy. Not to mention make her food that would fatten her up and calm her cravings. As much as she complained to Victor about the food, she was really more worried about her baby. You were expected to gain so much weight during the pregnancy to help support it. And with the food they were giving her, she knew it wasn't enough.   
  
But she had to concentrate on her work if she wanted to make it back to Logan and his culinary miracles. When Renfro told her to find him, she had been scared. If she didn't find him, she'd be in trouble, but if she did, then Logan would be in trouble, and she was not going to let that happen. So she had concocted this idea to find 'Eyes Only' but in reality it would all be fake. She knew enough about his Informant Net and the privacy of it and his computer. It was all very high-tech and nothing could penetrate it, not if he could help it. He took precautions to make sure there was no way anyone could even find their way through the maze of IP addresses he masked his broadcasts behind.   
  
So she was making up addresses and a trail for proof of Eyes Only. Piece by piece, she made up an Informant Net. In the end she would end up at his personal computer. But first she 'found' people who belonged to the Net and correspondence between them and Eyes Only. Even though she told Victor that Renfro would not look at how she did it, she had to have something to show for her work. Like any computer geek or hacker, she could flip through all her work and between screens knowing exactly what was going on, but any observer would have no clue what any of it was. Logan was the same way, flipping through his many screens of research, although he did end up on the main page of information important to their mission for Max to look over. Like Logan, it was not necessary to show her all of his work, she just needed the details Renfro would want to know, like where Eyes Only was located.   
  
Of course, it wasn't going to be Logan that Renfro would find. No, she would find someone else. Who, Max didn't quite know that yet, but later, closer to the time of escape and when she finally unveiled 'Eyes Only' to Renfro, everything would be figured out. Those details would all come into play in two months. She could tell Victor wanted to know exactly how they were going to escape and how this Eyes Only hacking was going to fit into it. But the less he knew, the less that could get him into trouble and her as well.   
  
Currently she pulled up a screen that she was making for an informant on the Net. She carefully documented all the information showing how he was linked to Eyes Only. It was just another piece of the puzzle that was making her way to Eyes himself. Sure she could say she found the IP addresses he used when making broadcasts and corresponding with his informants, but finding his personal computer information would logically take time. It would be his most guarded address and would have a ton of security on it. Everything on his computer would be personal and have information linking him to Eyes Only and possibly who he was in real life. Although she knew Logan himself kept his personal stuff separate from Eyes Only in case of being hacked into. It was kept securely on another hard drive, on another computer that at times could be linked to the computer that held all of his Eyes Only and Informant Net information.   
  
But since she really wasn't giving Renfro Eyes Only, she wouldn't know better. Anything that had Eyes Only information, and supposedly Max found from tracing his broadcasts, she would believe it to be true. Little did she know...  
  


*****

  
Victor walked down the hall with Max's dinner. There were no pills at night, but he was still required to bring Max her food. He knew he wasn't really needed for his current assignment; it was just a babysitting job. At the beginning everyone had been scared of Max. In essence, this was his punishment for the incident in the first place. Renfro was trying to scare him, see if he would break. Anyone could bring in her meals and pills. All he was technically required to do was get the pills. Further along in the pregnancy more tests would be required and that was more of his job description than bringing her meals. But he would not object the assignment either. The more time with Max, the more time they had to plan their escape and the closer he was to seeing Jace again.   
  
That is, if she would even tell him about the escape. All he knew was that her hacking into Eyes Only would lead to it. He couldn't quite figure out how it would help, but obviously he wasn't the one with superior intelligence and the brute strength that could kill him easily. It was best to let her go on with her plan and eventually she would tell him and they would escape. As long as he was there and he could help her and make sure nothing happened to her or her baby, things were good.   
  
He knocked on the door and she called out to let him in. It was only six o'clock, so she was still working on the computer. They had her working until ten at night. If it had been up to Renfro, she would have been working 24/7, but luckily the doctors told her that Max's body needed rest while she was pregnant. But for now, Max laughed at the bedtime of ten-thirty. She told him that she never went to sleep till two or three in the morning and then she would wake up around six if she were tired, earlier if she wasn't. Later in her pregnancy, he knew she would get tired and sleep more, but Max never mentioned it. In a way, he thought she was scared of the whole pregnancy. It was something totally new to her and very unexpected. Max was young after all, and created as a soldier. For the past ten years, she had been running and hiding, not exactly the life of mother-to-be, or even one where she could of learned of how to be a mother or what to expect of the pregnancy.   
  
Laying the tray of food on the table, he sat down and joined Max as she ate. It was these few times that Max had contact with another person who wasn't a guard or Renfro. Max was kept in solitude and away from the other soldiers. Even Brin had not been to see her since she had been captured.   
  
"Hey." Max greeted him.   
  
Victor nodded and smiled. "Is everything going okay?" It was a loaded question, for it meant her pregnancy, her mood, and her computer work.   
  
She shrugged. "I guess so, nothing new or surprising has occurred since noon." Carefully she cut the small piece of baked chicken on her plate, took a bite, and chewed in silence.   
  
Leaning back in his chair, Victor looked her over. She was looking pale; a sign that the pregnancy was getting to her, and sleep would be needed soon. Her hair had grown significantly since her return to the base. With the extra length of the hair, the tight curls that she had before were weighing down and straightening out. Overall, her muscle tone had lessened and she was skinnier. With the loose clothing she was given to wear, there was no sign that she was pregnant. In a couple months, there would be a small bulge, but the clothing would probably still hide it. Hopefully it would not hinder the escape. But the most important change he could tell about Max was her mood. She was always quiet, sad, and generally forlorn. Before she had known about the baby, she had been quite forceful and outgoing, as evidenced by his first meeting with her. Yet now she had resigned herself to the daily routines and pallor of Manticore. The only signs of her spirit were when they talked about raising their respective kids. And the occasional mention of the father.   
  
Victor was curious to hear about Eyes Only. It had been quite a surprise to hear that he was the father of her child after all their talks. In a sense, Eyes Only was like a childhood hero, someone you looked up to. After all, he was the voice of freedom. At times you wondered if he was even real, he was too great a person to just be like you, another human being. But now... he was just like him. He was about to be a father. Eyes Only seemed tangible now, someone he could talk to and maybe he would talk to him in the near future.   
  
"Tell me about him."   
  
Max looked up at him startled. Her fork paused in midair and she stared at him for a moment. "What do you mean?"   
  
He shrugged. "You've mentioned the father at times, and now you tell me he's Eyes Only. I'm curious. It seems unreal almost, that you know him." Glancing at her, he tried to gauge her reaction. She was giving him the stoic look, not showing anything. Then he admitted, "He seems unreal."   
  
Her eyes brightened briefly. "Oh, he's real. But the fact that I know him is coincidental. I tried to rob him and caught him recording one of his cable hacks. My escape clued him into who I really was since he had heard rumors of Manticore." She paused and glanced at him. "He may be Eyes Only, but he is a real person. He just tries to help the world."   
  
There was silence for a few minutes while she ate and Victor waited for more.   
  
Max looked up at him, and tried to choose her words carefully. "He's like no one I've ever met. Kind, considerate, and very protective. He's not out to hurt anyone and he tries to trust and believe in people. Although trusting in everyone is not the safest quality in today's times." Hesitantly she added, "He's not invulnerable. He has been hurt trying to help people, but no matter what happens, he still believes in what he does and hopes that one day things will be better.   
  
"I had known him a year before we finally admitted any feelings for each other. It was our anniversary of sorts, although it was my heat that actually prompted our declarations of love." Victor chuckled. "We had dodged our growing feelings the whole year, denying that anything could happen between us; we were just friends." Max shrugged but smiled. "It was my best friend who made me see that I loved him and encouraged me to take that step towards him that night. I think it's pretty obvious what happened that night." She laid her hand on her stomach then frowned. "I only wished that we could have spent more time together before we stormed Manticore. It was a wonderful new feeling, we had finally crossed that bridge and suddenly I didn't feel so alone anymore. I had had boyfriends before, but none of them compared to him. I had been fighting my feelings for him all year, and it was a relief to give in to them."   
  
Briefly she paused and looked at Victor. "While we prepared to destroy Manticore, he was there for me. I could always relax around him, and when the pressure was building before the attack, he helped me loosen up. We were all worried, uptight, and there he was, calm and collected.   
  
"You know, he never cared that I was a genetic freak. It was never a matter that I was stronger than him or that-" She broke off abruptly. Even though she trusted him, she couldn't tell Victor everything about Logan. She had already chosen not to tell him Logan's name, and she certainly wasn't going to tell them that he was paralyzed. If anything was leaked out, or heard for any reason, those were crucial details that would kill Logan. From the beginning, she had decided that she would not even tell him that she knew Eyes Only, but it had slipped and she couldn't go back and change things. She only told him about Logan because she knew Victor would not give up. They had two months until they could escape, and he already was frustrated with the time and the escape plan that he knew nothing of. Besides, as he mentioned, she had talked of Logan already. Telling him a few more things and some of their personal moments was not going to harm the situation.   
  
"He never had a problem?" Victor asked. He overlooked the fact that she was still hiding something from him; he understood she wasn't ready to tell him everything about Eyes Only. He was wanted dead by many people, secrecy was a very important. But the fact that he had never cared about her genetic makeup, that was a little hard to believe. Even though he had been working here at Manticore for several years, he had been deathly afraid of the X series. It had taken several meetings with Jace before he had been comfortable around her. He now did not care either, but he was always aware of their differences.   
  
Max hesitated, "I think since he had heard of the rumors, and with the business he was in, he would believe anything. Since he first witnessed me trying to steal from him - not trying to kill him, I didn't scare him. I was just a girl... He even flirted with me when he tracked me down later." She flashed a small smile, remembering his words, _ "Probably the most singularly beautiful face I've ever seen." _  
  
"Although there was a time that my true nature showed through, he got past it. It's impossible for me to forget what I was designed for, but it was still not me. He eventually realized that and we went on as things had been before." She knew Logan had figured out what happened with Ben. It was obvious it had shaken him up, but a couple weeks later he was back to himself, laughing and teasing with her. And a little later... well things definitely changed directions and she knew he didn't care about her genetics.   
  
With a smile, she looked up at Victor, "I think it's obvious it didn't matter to him. Does it matter to you? I mean, Jace seemed pretty happy when she talked of you."   
  
Victor paused, his face devoid of emotion or what he was thinking. Locking eyes with Max, he asked, "Truthfully?" She nodded. "At first it scared me to death. From the first day I started working here, I wanted to avoid all of you. Other people told me stories and I wanted nothing to do with any of them and hoped that I would never have to come in contact with the X series."   
  
Max slumped back in her seat, her brief period in which she had enjoyed talking about Logan and forgetting Manticore was gone when she heard her lifelong fear that someone was scared of her and wanted nothing to do with her. In the beginning, she wondered if Logan was scared of her and just wanted her for her legs and strength. Then their friendship progressed until she no longer doubted him and was open with him, talking and laughing, her genetics never coming to the forefront of their minds.   
  
"But when I met Jace for the first time, I forgot all about being scared." Victor noticeably lightened up and smiled, remembering Jace. "Sure, she presented a tough attitude, but I saw through it. She, of course, didn't want anything to do with me, yet we kept bumping into each other. In time, we were sneaking around to see each other. I think it's obvious now that I don't care about her genetics either." He glanced at Max as he came back with her own words. She nodded.   
  
"I keep thinking about what I'll say when I see her again. It's been so long, and will she believe that I want to be with her and help raise our kid? Will she be scared that Manticore will find her again because of me?" Victor shook his head. "I know it's still going to be awhile, but I can't wait to ask her one thing and hope it will settle all doubts."   
  
Max looked at him curiously, "What?"   
  
"Will you marry me?"   
  
Max's face paled. "Marriage?"   
  
He nodded and smiled. "We're having a baby, I feel it's the next step to being a family. Of course, it will have to be quiet, and quite possibly not legal, but I want her to be my wife."   
  
A million thoughts raced through Max's mind and she abruptly stood up and ran to the bathroom. Victor looked up, surprised. He watched as the door slammed shut and rattled on its hinges. Manticore strength. Even pregnancy didn't dull it.   
  
Meanwhile, Max leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor, tears already streaming down her face. She had to get away from the cameras and Victor and the bathroom was the only place she could have privacy. Her hand brushed away her tears, but more kept coming. She knew it was the pregnancy and the hormones that came with it that was causing this emotional outburst and tears. But it hurt to hear Victor planning to ask Jace to marry him.   
  
What would Logan think? Would he even be happy to hear that she was pregnant? They had only admitted to their feelings before the attack. Sure, they had known each other for a year, but only as friends. Their relationship was brand new and they had yet to explore it. And now she was having their baby. Would he even want to help raise it and where exactly would she live? Would she move in with him? What if things didn't work out and they weren't meant to be with each other?   
  
Of course, Logan was a gentleman and would feel it necessary to help her out. Would he want to marry her? Would he think he had to? That it was his responsibility? Or would he want to raise this child with her because he loved her, the way Victor wanted to be with Jace? But even though she loved him, Max knew marriage was too soon for them. Logan didn't even know she was alive right now. He could even be going on with his life and have met someone else. She had never given much thought to that possibility. She had always pushed it away, not wanting to think that she would come back and Logan wouldn't want to see her.   
  
Would he turn her away, ashamed that she was pregnant? Would he even want a genetically enhanced kid?   
  
Did he really love her? It had been one night of passion. Did he really mean it? Her tears came faster and harder as she asked the one question that had always bothered her. She was a genetic freak, how could he love her?   
  
A knock sounded on the door and Victor called out to her. Sobbing, she cradled her head and did not respond. Victor truly loved Jace and he was willing to find her again and marry her. How could she expect that much of Logan?   
  
He thought she was dead anyway.   
  
"Max?"   
  
She looked up at the door, her face red, streaked with tears. "What?"   
  
"I have to go soon. They're going to ask what's wrong with you. Are you okay?" He stood next to the door, worried about her. Was she sick? Or was it something he said?   
  
"Tell them I threw up dinner." She replied bitterly.   
  
"Max, please. What's wrong? Can I at least come in? I know there are no cameras in there. Please." Victor begged.   
  
"Fine."   
  
Cautiously opening the door, Victor found her sitting on the floor, knees bent, hugged close to her body. She had obviously been crying, tears still evident on her face. Bending down, he sat next to her. He didn't say anything; he waited for her to talk.   
  
"He won't want to marry me. He probably doesn't even love me," she spoke up angrily. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes and stared at the wall opposite of her.   
  
Victor sighed, wrapping an arm around her. He pushed aside some of her hair, a few strands sticking to her wet face. "That's not true. He loves you. From what you've told me, he loves you a lot and he'd do anything for you."   
  
Max shook her head. "It was one night. I was just his legs. He needed me for his work. I was in heat and he took advantage of the situation." She stood up and walked to the sink. Splashing water on her face she stared at herself in the mirror.   
  
"Max, you know, and I know that's impossible. He knew you for a year and both of you fought your feelings. So you only had one night together, but if things had not happened the way they had, you would be with him right now and he would still love you. So he might not be ready for marriage, are you? Just because I want to marry Jace, it does not mean you have to get married too. And if it's because of the baby, well in this day and age, it doesn't matter if you two are married or not." He stood and walked up behind her. Staring at her image in the mirror, he pointed at her. "He loves you.   
  
"And when you see him again, he's going to be thrilled to see you alive. I doubt he just forgot about you and stopped loving you. Jace left and I never thought it was over. I had no clue if she was alive or dead, but I kept hope. And he will too." He rubbed her shoulders and smiled at her in the mirror. She smiled back.   
  
"Thanks."   
  
"Welcome." Victor gave her one last pat, and left the bathroom.   
  
"Soon, Logan, soon." Max whispered.   
  
  



	7. I'll Remember

And now for the long awaited chapter 7 (or I sure hope it was!!) Sorry for taking so long, but I'm stuck on ch 9 and I forgot to update this site. Enjoy!!  
  
  
Chapter 7 _I'll Remember  
  
Two months later (Logan)_  
  
Logan drove through the crowded streets of Seattle to the city limits and checkpoints. He slowed to a stop and showed his ID and sector pass, waiting as they checked his car over. After they nodded at him, he pulled out and began the long drive out to the countryside surrounding the city. Soon the dirty streets disappeared and green grass stretched across the horizon as old farms dotted the land. Lowering his window, he took in a deep breath and smiled as the smell of clean air permeated the car.  
  
Finally he pulled into a gravel driveway off of the two lane road that he had been driving on through the county. He passed through the brick gates and slowly guided his car on the bumpy gravel road. Acres of lush green grass and rolling plains and hills surrounded him. At the end of the driveway, he parked his car and took a moment to appreciate the calmness of the area and the scenery that fell before him. Then he propped open his door and reached behind his seat to grab his wheels. Bringing them around, he leaned them against the car back door. Reaching again over to the passenger seat, he maneuvered his chair out of the car, unfolding it and situating it between the wheels and clicking it into place. He positioned it near his door at the right distance and locked the brakes. First crossing his right leg over left, he grabbed the back of the chair and pushed himself off the seat, and down in the chair with practiced ease and measured strength. Pulling his legs down next from the car, he placed them on the foot rest, uncrossing them then sighed. That part was over, now for his purpose of the drive out here.  
  
Unlocking his brakes, he rolled back from the door and closed it. Opening the back door, he picked up some flowers and laid them in his lap. With a hard push, he turned around and made his way to the sidewalk amidst the green grass. The gravel made for a hard time and his shoulders started to burn as he forced the wheels over the bumpy rocks. Even with all his training and new muscle, it was still a workout for him. With another sigh of relief when he reached the sidewalk, he stopped and gazed around him. The area was beautifully done and very peaceful and quiet. Trees scattered the land, overshadowing the graves that marked parts of the land. Sidewalks trailed through the cemetery, past the graves and around a lake in the middle.  
  
Pushing off, he started for Max's grave. It was in the back, in a secluded area, full of trees and in cemetery terms, the nicest area that cost the most money. His parents had insisted on it, and told him that he would in the end like the privacy that it gave its mourners. Of course, they also told him that he shouldn't live his life mourning their death when it should happen, which had abruptly occurred when he was fifteen. In retrospect, he had only been here a few times after their funeral. It was more painful now though, as he came back to Max's grave. Her death was still fresh and very painful, unlike his parents who had been gone for years. He still missed his parents very much, but life had gone on and he had accustomed to a life without them. Max on the other hand, her absence from his daily life was felt all the time. There were times he was ready to page her, then he'd remember suddenly and it was as if she had died the day before, it hurt so much.  
  
It had been two weeks after the funeral and his talk with Syl, that Krit and Syl had left Seattle. They wished him well and said they would check up on him occasionally and would keep in contact. So they left to visit their other siblings and tell them of the recent events. He felt sorry for them, having to be the bearers of bad news. It had been hard enough telling Original Cindy, but they had to tell several siblings of Max and Tinga's death and Zack's capture, which with the reprogramming, was as good as death. They all knew what happened to Brin and that they had lost her for forever.   
  
It was after they left, and Bling was not constantly watching out for him, that he visited Max's grave for the first time. He stayed in the car for an hour before he finally got the nerve to get out. Slowly he made his way to her grave, and when he reached the back he had just sat there, looking at it from afar. He couldn't go there, not yet. The flowers that he had brought went home with him and sat on the counter reminding him again that she was gone.  
  
The second time he didn't even make it as far as the back area where her grave laid; he had stopped at the bridge of the lake and stared out at the cemetery. Various people were there, mourning their loved ones. They wept openly and he envied them. In a way, without her body resting there, he still couldn't believe she was dead. Though it was still the only place he wanted as her final resting place, instead of Manticore. So each time he visited, he was another step closer to accepting her death and moving on with his life like he had with his parents.  
  
Bling didn't know he kept coming out here to visit Max. He'd probably think it was unhealthy to keep visiting her. The past month had been easier and Logan had tried to appear as if nothing had happened. They went on with his physical therapy and Eyes Only work. So Bling didn't bother him and try to talk about Max and get him to open up as he had the first few weeks. Original Cindy had also come over often to talk and hang out. It was as if she felt it was her duty to keep him company now that Max was gone. Though it was nice to occasionally win a game of chess when playing with her, unlike his losing streak with Max.  
  
But today he was going to visit her grave for the first time. He paused at the lake for a moment and then took the path leading off to the back. It was time. Soft wind blew a few leaves across the sidewalk as he rolled through the cemetery. It was sunny and bright; unlike the day they had the funeral. The rain had fit his mood that day, but today was a new beginning.   
  
Passing a father and his two young children, a boy and girl just under ten, sitting graveside, he was thankful that he was by himself. He didn't know how he could handle other people around right now. They knew he had been close with Max, but they didn't know how close and how painful it was since he and Max had only a day together as a couple. They tried to sympathize with him, but how could they know what he was going through? He had loved her. Even if only for a short while.  
  
The trees swayed in the light breeze and the leaves rustled. Slowly he pushed himself down the path, not in a hurry as he barely used any muscle to push the wheels under his fingers. He was scared in a way. It wasn't Max he was scared of - it was the acceptance. Facing her grave once again, it was like reliving her death. His nightmares of seeing her lying there bleeding had lessened, but the grave would make it start all over again. Even the grassy land around him reminded him of that fateful day when he held her in his arms in the forest.  
  
Without really thinking and watching where he was going, suddenly he appeared at the back, at the entrance to this private section of the cemetery. Even though he'd only been there a few times, his heart still knew where to find her. Sitting there in silence, he could see her grave from a distance. Wavering in his decision of whether or not he could do it, he unconsciously started rocking back and forth in his chair. Finally with a deep breath, he pushed forward off the sidewalk and into the grass and carefully maneuvered around the other graves.  
  
He stopped a few feet from the headstone. Nervously he fingered the flowers in his lap. What was he supposed to do? To say? It had been hard as a kid to visit his parents' graves, but he hadn't really understood what had happened then. He was just a boy; mad at the world. Well, he was an adult now, and he still didn't understand the events of two months ago. And he was still pretty mad at the world. Or at least Manticore and its stupid idea of controlling people like puppets. Anger came over him and he gripped the flowers unconsciously.  
  
How could they think they could play God? Had they not learned their lesson after the wars and their past history with slaves? No human wanted to be owned, to be controlled by someone else. No matter the fact that they had created them for their own purposes, did they really think they would always obey their orders? That they would always feel that being a soldier was what they wanted to be?  
  
Max surely had not wanted to be a soldier. Nor did she want to be controlled by anyone but herself. It had taken a long time before she would even work for him. She just didn't want to be responsible for anyone but herself. But it was human nature to want to be superior, to have power over other people. It wasn't just Manticore or the government, you could still see it in everyday life, in people like Normal who ordered employees around and gave no respect.  
  
He had even shown it in the past, when he had expected her to drop everything and help him with Eyes Only. But Max had quickly pointed it out to him and even since then, he tried not to control her. If anything, he knew that she would leave him if he kept it up because she had fled for her freedom and she certainly didn't want orders from him.  
  
Well, she had her freedom now. Indefinitely. He stared at her grave, his eyes glazing over. Her name was on it, to be seen by everyone, but somehow he couldn't see it. That wasn't his Max laying here. His loving, joking, tough, kicking butt Max.  
  
But this was all he had of her. He rolled closer to the headstone, dropping the flowers on the ground and carefully lowered himself out of the chair. Sitting next to it, he fingered the engraved letters on the marble. He hadn't even known what to put on it as her birthday. She never told him if she had picked one out or not.  
  
With a trembling hand, he lifted the flowers from the grass near him and placed them at the ground near her headstone.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he started talking, his voice quiet and shaky as he fought inevitable tears that threatened to pour. "You know, I never even knew what flowers you liked. Or you birthday. Or what was your favorite food."  
  
A sob rose from his chest and he hiccupped. "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to visit. I've tried, but it's been so hard. I miss you so much. I'm sorry it took so long for us to realize our feelings. I'm sorry we had such a short time together. But I will forever treasure the year we had together as friends. If nothing else, you gave me so much to live for and made this past year so much easier for me."  
  
He wiped away tears that were streaming down his cheeks and drew a ragged breath. "It was so hard after the shooting and then you appeared three months later. Like an angel. You don't know how much that meant to me, Max. I didn't know if I could continue working on Eyes Only, or even living, and you showed me it was still worth it. You were a friend in so many ways. I appreciated the nights where you just came over and played chess and we talked. I loved every night when we just sipped wine and sat in each other's company. And the blackouts..." He chuckled. "I actually hoped for them when you were over. It meant you would stay longer and I always hoped you would stay the night as well."  
  
Looking around briefly, then back at the headstone, he sobered. "Remember that first blackout together? I had called you over for dinner and then you had a seizure. It hurt so much to see you in pain. I wanted to do something, anything. But there was nothing except to be there with you. I was thankful I could at least do that. You slept for hours... You looked so peaceful then, not worrying about anything.  
  
"I know I didn't make your life any easier, asking you to do my legwork for me. There was always the chance of getting caught or hurt. Every time I sent you out I worried about you. I tried to convince myself that you would be okay, nothing could happen to you, but it never helped. Then there would be times when you would come back hurt and I blamed myself and this stupid chair. I only wished I could do it myself, that you didn't have to put yourself in harm's way anymore than you had to everyday as you tried to avoid Manticore.  
  
"I hate Manticore for what it did to you, but I will always be happy that they created you. I don't know what I would have done without you, Max. Yes, it is unfair that you were not given a childhood, or that they tortured you, but you are such a wonderful person. Despite everything you have grown past it and become someone with feelings, emotions and mostly importantly love. That night you came to me; I had expected a night to celebrate our chance meeting and to stand up for you and dance with you. I didn't expect what you gave me. I didn't expect our feelings to break out like that and open themselves in such a beautiful way.  
  
"I know it was Manticore's fault that we finally admitted our love, but I will be forever grateful that we did and that you were in heat that night. It might have been uncomfortable for you, and I know you hated every minute of it and what it did to you every time, and how it reminded you of your genetics, but it brought us together. Together for one glorious day. If we hadn't... I know I would regret that entire year we spent together, Max. Because then I would have never told you how I felt. I love you Max, and I treasure what you gave me that day.  
  
"I still remember it so vividly..."  
  
  
He had just woken up the next morning when he noticed Max staring at him with a goofy grin on her face. Puzzled, he asked her, "What?"  
  
"Oh nothing. You're just cute when you sleep, you know that?" She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the nose.  
  
Pulling her near him, he traced her face with his finger then kissed her lightly back. "But you were beautiful when I saw you sleep last night."  
  
"I don't remember falling asleep before you, mister!" she joked with him.  
  
Logan shook his head and sighed to himself. "I get no credit."   
  
Max laughed then calmed down and snuggled up against him. "Mmmm... it was nice," she whispered.  
  
"Just nice?" Logan teased. He put on a pouty face and whimpered like a puppy dog.  
  
Max playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "Original Cindy was right. There is a difference."  
  
Logan smiled and pushed back a tendril of her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, there is."  
  
Turning on her stomach, she played with her hair. "You know, I always thought that bad relationships started out with sex and look at us."  
  
"Max, we've known each other for a year."  
  
"But we... we were just friends," she protested.  
  
"So our friendship evolved. The best relationships are ones that started out as friends," Logan explained and then paused. "Do you think this happened too fast?" Gently he stroked her cheek, hoping she didn't regret last night.  
  
She shook her head, "No. It feels like it took forever." With a small grin, she quickly threw herself at him and started tickling him on the sides of his stomach.  
  
Surprised by her sudden attack, Logan was defenseless to her tickling hands. Laughing, he tried to ward her off but she was too quick and agile for him. "No! Oh no... stop!! Max!" Gasping, he took a deep breath when she finally desisted. His bright blue eyes sparkling, he smiled at her. "Didn't want to be serious anymore, did you?"  
  
Laughing, she shook her head. She lazily traced a finger down his chest. "I thought we could lighten up. Why? Did you not approve?" she teased. Bending down, she started a trail of kisses where her finger had previously explored.  
  
"Oh, it's not that. But one action deserves another," he replied mischievously. Pulling her down on him, he began tickling her.  
  
Max shrieked. "Logan!!" Giggles erupted from her as his hands found her ticklish spots, then slowed down to a calm caress of her bare skin. His hands moved up her sides, past her breasts, to her head where he combed his fingers through her dark curls. Guiding her face down to his, he softly kissed her, sucking on her lips as she ran her tongue inside his mouth.  
  
Breaking away, he smiled. "Better?" he asked, rubbing a finger down her neck and across her barcode.  
  
"Much."  
  
"I don't suppose you want to stay in bed all day, do you?"  
  
"It's not a bad idea." Lying down next to him, she snuggled against his shoulder. "Besides, Normal gave me the week off."  
  
Logan looked at her sideways, surprised. "Why?"  
  
Max's face blushed pink. "Umm... You see, this pizza guy came in and I managed to get away from him to ask Normal for a personal day."  
  
Looking at her expectantly, he raised his eyebrows curiously. "And he gave you a week? That doesn't seem like Normal."  
  
First a light pink, Max's face turned outright red. "I accidentally kissed Normal."  
  
Logan's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
Max snuggled deeper into Logan and the bed, turning her face down. Logan brushed her hair aside, trying to unearth her from the pillows.  
  
"Max, I know it wasn't you, just tell me what happened."  
  
She turned back over and glanced at him briefly before looking up at the ceiling. "He was in the back room and I rammed him up against the wall, kissing him. Original Cindy luckily found us and pulled me away, smacking some sense into me. Normal was so shocked he gave me a week off when Cindy told him I needed a personal day."  
  
"I see... well how about we make use of the time you have off?" he grinned at her.  
  
"Oh really? What do you have in mind?" She rolled on her side and gently pulled him closer to her, their bodies pressed tightly together.  
  
Logan wiggled his eyebrows, laughing with a huge grin on his face. "What to do? Oh what to do..." He propped himself up, leaned over her and started placing little kisses all down her neck. Kisses became nibbles and nibbles became a hungry, deep kiss digging inside her mouth. His body fell to the side as his hands griped the hair on her head, his lips hurriedly attacking her mouth and neck.  
  
A purr escape from her when he changed directions and started kissing down the front of her neck, lowering his face to her chest. Softly, he stroked her silky skin, running his hands all over her and down her stomach. Rolling onto his back, he drew her closer, onto his stomach and pushed her hair back as it fell down.  
  
"I think I know what to do," he whispered gently.  
  
Max smiled, looking down at him and replied, "Oh, do you? I thought you just wanted to play chess all day."  
  
With a quick flip, Logan was on top of Max, holding himself up over her body. His arms stretched taut as he held his whole body weight up. "I don't think so. I have other things in mind."  
  
A door slammed in the apartment and they both looked at each other in horror. Bling's voice rang out, "Hey Logan!! Get your sorry rear out of bed. I don't care if you're hung over from all that champagne but you're not missing your workout today!"  
  
Logan rolled back on his side and quickly called back, "Bling, go home! I'm sick!!"  
  
Bling chuckled. "Did you not here what I just said? No excuses."  
  
"No really!! Max and I had to cut our evening short, I'm really sick! And contagious!!" He quickly yelled a reply, hoping Bling wouldn't pop in the room. Max had covered herself with the blanket and made sure he was covered as well.  
  
They heard footsteps near the room and they braced for the shock. But the footsteps stopped in the hallway and then turned around.  
  
"Max, remind him that he's not Superman, his chair and exo-skeleton are in the living room." With that, the door slammed again and there was silence.  
  
Glancing at each other briefly, they erupted in laughter as they realized that Bling knew what had happened. They were just happy he didn't try to come in the room. Moving close to each other again, Logan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. Kissing her on her check, he spoke up, "Well, the surprise is out. What do you want to do about it?"  
  
Max draped a leg over him, and kissed him low on his stomach, arching her back up to look at him. Her eyes darkened as her eyelashes fluttered upward. "Let's back up."  
  
Logan raised his eyebrows in question, although a little smile crossed his face. "How far?"  
  
"Last night's good for me."  
  


*****

  
After staying in bed for another hour cuddling, they finally managed to get out of bed. It was already late afternoon. Needless to say, it had been the longest Max had ever slept in, but she didn't mind. It was agreed upon that they would get ready for the day when Logan mentioned he had something else in mind for the day. Logan preceded to take his shower first while Max was supposed to wait for her turn. Five minutes after he got in, the door opened and a dark haired beauty joined him.  
  
They didn't get out of the shower until the water was cold and both were equally pruny.  
  
A light lunch of pasta was served up later before Logan unveiled their afternoon plans. Walking over to his stereo, he turned on Valse Triste. Holding out his hand to Max, he smiled. "May I have this dance?"  
  
Max slowly walked over to him and clasped his beckoning hand. "We already had this dance." She looked into his eyes, wondering if it had been real, if they had both shared that dream.  
  
Logan nodded. "I know, but I want it to be a conscious memory, rather than a hazy dream. You don't know how long I've waited to do this. I've always wanted to just stand up next to you, hold you in my arms, and to dance together."  
  
Pulling her close, they started to waltz to the sad, melodic song. He stepped away, holding her hand in his, sending her twirling around him. Coming back to him, she leaned in close, laying her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I was so scared that day," she mumbled in his chest. Looking up at him with tears in her eyes, she whispered, "I didn't want to lose you. I didn't care what Zack thought or that Lydecker was in town looking for me. I just didn't care. I had to make sure you were alright. I never wanted to leave Seattle. I wanted to stay with you, with Original Cindy... The kiss came out of nowhere, but afterwards I wanted to do it again, I wanted more."  
  
Wiping a tear away from her cheek, Logan smiled. "It's okay. We're together now. Lydecker isn't here, Zack isn't here, just us. We have all the time in the world."  
  
"But do we?" She looked at him scared. "When will Lydecker be back? Or Zack saying it's time to go? Or what about Eyes Only? You know we don't have the best of luck. I want this to keep going Logan, I just don't want this to be a fleeting thing."  
  
Placing his index finger on her lips, he replied, "Shhh... Don't worry now, just relax and enjoy what we have now. Remember, you have the whole week off."  
  
Max grinned. "More? You want more??"  
  
Laughing and shaking his head he said, "No, not right now. I just want this dance. We'll see how the rest of the week goes."  
  
Seeing his blue eyes sparkle as he smiled and laughed, Max knew she had done the right thing. She loved him and she was going to enjoy this. Sighing, she leaned back on his shoulder and together they danced.  
  


*****

  
Later that evening they stood in front of the windows as they watched the city below them, Logan holding Max in his arms. She leaned her head against his shoulder in contentment with a smile on her face. Suddenly Logan's legs gave out and he fell to the ground. His legs shook as the exo-skeleton beeped furiously. Max gasped and knelt beside him.  
  
"Ah, damn it!!" He hurriedly tried to turn off the exo-skeleton.  
  
"It's okay." Max reassured him.  
  
He shook his head sadly. "Sorry, let me just..." The exo-skeleton stopped beeping and his legs went still. "I'm sorry." Logan repeated. He propped up on his arms to look at her.  
  
"Logan... you've got nothing to be sorry or ashamed of. It's never been about you being able to walk - not for me." She smiled at him.  
  
He smiled in return, then chuckled. "Will you look at us?"   
  
"Pathetic," she commented, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"Hopeless," Logan added.  
  
"Lucky we hooked up."   
  
"Happy anniversary." He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. She then pulled him closer, raking her fingers through his hair, kissing him hard. He returned in fervor, pressing her hard against him as they melded together, needing to taste each other.  
  
"Looks like I caught you at a bad time."  
  
They broke off their kiss immediately. Logan looked up and instead of Zack, he saw Lydecker standing there over them. He looked back down and saw Max lying in his arms, the grass of the forest beneath her. She was bleeding from the chest and nose, her eyes closed.  
  
"She's gone."  
  
Logan quickly opened his eyes and saw the grave in front of him. His breath hitching, he sobbed as reality set in again.  
  
"I'm so sorry, so sorry. I'm sorry Max. I love you. I'll love you forever. I'm so sorry. So sorry... I love you."  
  
  



	8. Tying Up Loose Ends

Sorry for the wait again, but I hope I haven't lost you completely!! Please,_PLEASE_ review!! It's getting harder to write, so reading your reviews encourages me to continue!!  
  
  
Chapter 8 _Tying Up Loose Ends  
  
Four months later (after AJBAC)_  
  
Max paused between bites of her lunch, announcing without warning, "We leave in one week."  
  
Victor looked up at her, astonished. "It's time?"  
  
She nodded and continued eating. Silent, she didn't want to give away too many details. But it was apparently frustrating Victor when she wouldn't further her sudden news with any explanation.  
  
"How will we leave?" he asked, trying to pry out any and all details of the escape from her. It wasn't just her own life she was risking, his life was at risk too and he wanted to know what exactly her plan was.  
  
"You're driving."  
  
He looked at her wide eyed, flabbergasted. "We wait four months and I'm driving us out of here?! Why on earth have we waited so long?"  
  
Max only nodded again. "You're driving us out with me in the trunk, giving the guards reasonable excuse for your abrupt departure. I presume that you are allowed to leave the base?"  
  
Victor nodded numbly. "Yes, but usually we have to prearrange any leave of absence."  
  
"I'm sure you can come up with something. Family, friends, something. Besides, it's not as if Renfro will be there for them to call on and report you."  
  
Sputtering almost, he gaped at her and had to ask, "Why won't she be there? How on earth are you going to manage to get her off base? She hasn't left in months since the attack and your tracking in Seattle."  
  
Glancing up at him, Max calmly replied, "For four months I have been tracking Eyes Only, something that she is extremely anxious to be resolved. I will be giving her a location that will require her most immediate attention, as well as the X5's and X7's. We will leave shortly after them. Even if there is any resistance to your departure, we should still be able to get away."  
  
She grinned a moment then added, "Ram the gate, so to speak. We will be leaving Manticore and no one is going to stop us."  
  
Victor sat there shocked. So this was her plan all along? It was so simple, yet she had carefully calculated it to be perfect in every way. "But how will you persuade Renfro that the situation will warrant the X5's and X7's?"  
  
With a cold stare, she answered him, "Leave it to me. It is none of your business. I have given you the basic outline of the plan and now you prepare. Get a bag ready with any personal items you want to bring with you; it will add to the illusion of leaving to meet family or such. We will dump the car a few miles outside of Manticore and will continue on in another car. So I hope you're not too attached to your car. It is too risky to go far in your car because they will realize we're both gone."  
  
"Another car? Who's?" It was becoming as equally frustrating for Victor learning a few details of the plan as it was not understanding them.   
  
"As I said, it is none of your business. I will have it all arranged soon and you do not need to worry. I promise you that once we do leave, I will explain everything." Her face did not show the caring person he had come to know over the past months, no, it was the soldier who was planning as if for battle.  
  
Victor knew there was something wrong with the plan and it nagged at him. They sat there in silence as he pondered it. He visualized the escape and knew there was much more to it that she was not telling him. Like how was she going to leave? The base was crawling with soldiers, guards, and personnel. Hesitating a moment, then deciding he had to ask, he broke the silence. "How will you leave? You can't exactly walk off the base and into my car."  
  
Swallowing her bite slowly, she explained, "It's rather simple, actually. I'll stray from my normal morning walk. Right before, I'll have looped the cameras. No one will notice. Besides, only the barest of security will be present that morning."  
  
If only a skeleton of security was left that meant that whatever she was setting up for the Eyes Only location was going to be very important. He had no idea how she was going to accomplish it, but he hoped it would work. It was very important that only minimal security was left on base.  
  
Thinking back, he tried to pinpoint what was still bothering him. Suddenly it was as if a light bulb had gone off in Victor's head.  
  
"What about Zack?"  
  
Max's eyes shot up and for a moment he was afraid of her. It looked like her eyes were shooting daggers at him. Harshly, she spit out, "Zack's dead and unless you know where his body is and are able to get it out, there's nothing we can do."  
  
Victor stared at her, bewildered. "Dead? Max, he's alive. I've been frequently switching out his drugs the past four months. They've been trying to reprogram unsuccessfully. I don't know why you think he's dead, but he is very much alive. I can't attest for his sanity though because of the drugs entering his body every so often and then days without."  
  
Shell shocked, she sat there in silence, no emotion crossing her face. Finally a lone tear escaped and she quickly wiped it away. Anxiously, she asked him, "What happened? She told me that he sacrificed himself for me. I have his heart, supposedly I have his heart."  
  
Victor frowned. It was obvious she had been told this so she could be more easily reprogrammed, but it was sickening. This entire time she had lived with the guilt that her brother had died for her and she had his heart.  
  
Pausing a moment, he tried to think of the best way to tell her the news. One way or another, she wouldn't be happy. "From what I heard, he did try to sacrifice himself but was brought down before he could. Renfro had another X5 harvested so you could live." Glancing at her, he saw she was awaiting his explanation nervously. "The X5 had been brought in on life support a few a day prior to your attack. I believe it was X5-656, or Tinga, is it?"  
  
Max's lips quivered for a second. "Tinga," she whispered then quickly looked back at him. "Life support, so she was alive?"  
  
Nodding, Victor explained. "She was alive technically, but only because of machines. She was brain dead, I'm afraid."  
  
She sat silently digesting everything but came back to the matter at hand. "Zack. We need to get him out too. You'll have to retrieve him since it's more risky for me to be moving around the base. Besides, he won't believe I'm still me and not X5-452. Or that I'm even alive. If I was told he was dead, surely he was told I'm dead because he couldn't save me."  
  
Immediately Victor protested, "But how will I get to him? He's guarded and why would he believe me? I work at Manticore, I'm not one of his siblings."  
  
"Do you have access to tranquilizers?"  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
Max smiled. "Well unless you want to kill the guards, you're going to have to take them out somehow. And I think I know of a way to convince Zack that you're on his side and mine."  
  


*****

  
That night Max sat at the computer nervous. There was a huge part of the escape that depended on someone else that she had not told Victor about. And that person was Logan.  
  
So here she was about to contact him. In a way, it scared her. It had been four months since they had talked and she knew there would be disbelief and he would be scared as well. But she was also excited. Every day she thought of him and waited for the day that she would see him again. Now she would be talking to him soon, or at least hopefully she would be talking to him. There was no guarantee if she could in fact get through to him on his computer or if someone would notice what she was doing.  
  
Max stared at the computer monitor for a few minutes before opening various screens. Taking a deep breath she began her penetration of Logan's computer. She knew his codes and security measures, so she could hack through and reach into his computer. If he was at his computer he would notice immediately, otherwise alarms would sound and it might take a moment for him to respond to her presence.  
  
Carefully she opened the proverbial door to his system. As luck had it, barriers popped up immediately. He was there. It wasn't a big surprise, at this time of night he was always on the computer. She quickly fought every security measure and slipped past him. Finally opening up another screen, she typed in a message.  
  
Logan's eyes widened as alarms went off on his computer and a screen popped up, flashing to get his attention. Someone had managed to hack into his computer. Without delay, he set to block the intruder and protect his Informant Net. But with every step he took to stop the hacker, it was easily taken down. What amazed him was that the hacker was good, very good in fact, as if the person knew all his codes, which was impossible. Another screen popped up and he almost had a heart attack after reading it.  
  
_I have a decoder ring, am I not allowed access? _  
  
Instantly his mind rushed to only one person. Max. But it couldn't be. She was dead. Yet who else knew about their joke? Carefully, he worded his message back to whoever this person was.  
  
_I only gave out one decoder ring and that person's dead. Who are you? _  
  
Max pursed her lips silently. He thought she was dead. It wasn't a surprise really; she had in effect died in his arms. But her heart tore at the pain he must have gone through the past four months. Her fingers flying over the keyboard, she replied.  
  
_Field Commander reporting in, Sir. Is the LC brigade for the defense of widows, small children, and lost animals up and running still? _  
  
Choking back tears, she held her breath waiting for him to realize it was her. She just hoped he believed her.  
  
He sat there dumbfounded. How was this possible? Again, a personal joke between the two of them. Inside him, a tiny flame flickered, hoping against hope that it was her. But the rational side of him knew it was just some strange coincidence. He heard Bling come over to his side as he painfully responded back.  
  
_I ask again, who are you? That person died in my arms. How is this? Is this a trick? My heart's already been broken; it doesn't need to be torn out again. _  
  
Max felt so bad for him. Even though she was stuck here, she had at least known Logan was okay. She hadn't had to worry that he was dead, like he had. Apparently it had taken a toll on him, as just the mention of personal things between them hurt him. She yearned to reach out and touch him and comfort him. Convince him that she was okay and alive. To tell him that they were having a baby. But she knew there wasn't time to do so now.  
  
_Cannot explain now, be back here tomorrow, same time. I need your help. _  
  
He didn't respond and she knew she still had to prove herself.  
  
_Love, Sibelius. _  
  
She waited another minute before closing the screen. Checking the system, she made sure she had not been detected. They were too close to leaving to be caught now. She had to be positive that she could connect safely with him again tomorrow night. It would prove vital to their entire escape plan.  
  
Logan stared at the screen in shock. Was she really alive? Did he imagine all this? But as he felt Bling breathing down his neck staring at the screen as well, he knew he had not imagined it.  
  
"She's alive." He whispered.  
  
"Now, wait a minute. How can you be sure?" Bling reasoned.  
  
"Because those were things only Max knows. Personal things between us." His mind flashed back to the decoder ring. She had carefully chosen each line so he would know it was her and yet he had been unsure. Well, after the last line, there was no mistake.  
  
Max was alive.  
  


*****

  
The next night Max connected to Logan's computer again and waited for him to acknowledge her. She had rechecked the system to make sure she had not been caught the previous night and found no problems.  
  
_Logan? _  
  
Logan sat at his computer, almost scared to answer the message. Was his heart taking over his mind? He desperately wanted to believe that it was Max. Every morning he woke up and hoped that it had been a nightmare and she would come over if he paged her. But now, even after telling Bling that he did believe that it was her, he was deathly afraid that it wasn't. Was it a trap? Was this person taking advantage of his grief and desire to have Max back again?  
  
Yet his heart yearned to believe that Max was alive. That she was right there waiting for him to respond. His mind told him it was impossible because she died in his arms, but his heart was feeling stronger. Bling was in the other room, and he was tempted to call him in for moral support, but he knew his friend was still very suspicious of the sudden communication.  
  
Taking a deep breath, knowing that his heart was telling him the truth, that he should believe the message, he typed in his last attempt to ferret out the identity of the person on the other side.  
  
_Max? _  
  
Waiting anxiously, she sighed in relief when he responded then she grinned. He believed her. Now they could prepare for the rest of the escape plan she had in mind. It was crucial for Logan to help her and now that he believed her, it was going to be much easier. Biting her lip, she considered whether she could talk to him for awhile or if she should just be all business and try to get everything done. Her heart won out.  
  
_Didja miss me? _  
  
Logan laughed. It was her!! Only Max would say something so crazy at a time like this. He no longer doubted the origin of the communiqué, but had she expected him to go on with his life like nothing had happened? For four months he had believed her to be dead and just found out that she was in fact alive.  
  
_How can you ask me that? You have no idea how much I have missed you. Let's just say I am shocked right now, but overwhelmingly happy. I'm afraid to ask how you are. I assume you're at Manticore still? _  
  
Relieved, she let out her breath she had been unconsciously holding. He was okay. She had assumed so, but it was making her deliriously happy just talking to him, knowing he was safe at the moment.  
  
_I'm fine for the moment. I've hooked up with Victor and we're escaping in one week. I need your help. _  
  
Logan let out a cry of joy. She was okay, and she was coming home. Two days ago, he couldn't have hoped for better news. Quickly he answered her.  
  
_Anything_.  
  
A smile spread on her lips. Same old Logan. Willing to help anyone. Hoping he wouldn't misconstrue what she was about to ask him, she typed in her request.  
  
_I need some of your files. Anything that points to Eyes Only. An old broadcast, old information on the bad guys, anything will work. As long as it doesn't directly point to you, or is current information that could point to you or any informants in any way. _  
  
At first glance, Logan was scared. What did she need with his files? Was this really his Max or was she reprogrammed? But reading through the entire message, he could tell there was more to it than she told him and that she would not harm him in any way. It was Max, not X5-452.  
  
_Why? _  
  
At least he wasn't outright saying no and accusing her of being reprogrammed, Max surmised. Or disconnecting because he feared he was being tracked by Manticore.  
  
_My task has been to track you down since their own computer guys couldn't hack it. I've been compiling a fake Informant Net and I intend to give them a fake Eyes Only. But I need some of your files to prove to her that I did find Eyes Only.  
  
Sure, I can send you some old files. But how do you intend to escape?  
  
I will send Renfro off to where 'Eyes Only' is and Victor and I will leave while they're gone. Don't worry about the details. I need you to set up a location for the fake Eyes Only. It has to be something that appears to be a place where he would stay and work and have plenty of security. It is imperative that she believes she needs more than standard soldiers to bring 'you' in. I want her to bring the X5's and X7's with her.  
  
Will do. Anything else?  
  
Yes, the place has to be abandoned. I plan for Manticore to go down. Can you contact Krit and Syl?  
  
Yes, we've stayed in contact with each other since the attack. Do I understand you correctly that they are needed at this location when Manticore arrives? Manticore will come down then and there?  
  
Yes. There's one last thing I need of you. In one week, or otherwise if I tell you, I need you and probably Bling to come pick us up a few miles outside of Manticore. Hopefully we will not be followed and nothing will be suspected until later. Victor will need a new ID and a ticket to meet Jace. He'll probably have to leave immediately upon arrival in Seattle because his absence will be connected with mine at some point.  
  
No problem. We'll be there. I can't wait to see you Max. I've missed you so much.  
  
I've missed you too. It's been so hard working on this knowing that eventually this night would come when I could contact you. And eventually see you again. But I don't want you to tell Original Cindy yet. In case something does go wrong, I don't want her to relive my death or capture. It will be better if she continues to think I'm dead. And please Logan; don't grieve over me again.  
  
Max, I won't let that happen. You are coming home. Even if you don't make it out, I will not let you stay there. We will come after you and we will be together again. I promise you.  
  
Logan, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want anybody hurt over me.  
  
Max, I love you and I will do anything for you. Do not even try to stop me. But hopefully things won't come to that and in one week we will be together.  
  
Yes, hopefully. I love you too, Logan. Please remember that.  
  
Always.  
  
Can you send me those files now, Logan? If anything happens, I need these to show Renfro.  
  
Give me a few minutes. _  
  
Logan calmed himself and set to find some files for her. Carefully he searched for an old broadcast and research that would prove they were indeed Eyes Only files. They had time to talk later; he had to focus on this first. Although he would have much rather talked the night away with her. It would just have to wait though, but he just hoped it could wait this time.  
  
_Logan? _  
  
He looked up at the new message and wondered if something was wrong.  
  
_Yes?  
  
I want to send you Manticore's files. If anything should go wrong, I want you to have them. You'll need them, and if you have to, expose them.  
  
Are you sure they won't notice?  
  
I'm sure. They have had no idea of what I've been doing for the past four months and they still don't know. I've made sure that this connection could not be traced, but if anything does go wrong, just remember what I told you.  
  
Max...  
  
No, please. I love you. It's not so hard for me to say it anymore. I've had four months of just living with memories and my thoughts of you. I know it's been harder for you and if I should die in my attempt, it will be twice as hard for you the second time. That's why I had to talk to you before I try. _  
  
Time stood still as he absorbed what Max was saying to him. It broke his heart to see her make these plans, to make sure no one got hurt and Manticore would fall in the end, even if she didn't make it out to see it. But that would not happen, Logan vowed. He would see her again.  
  
Files were quietly exchanged as neither one said anything. It was too hard to acknowledge that this might be the last time they talked to each other.  
  
Max took notice of his silence and knew it was tough for him for all of this to be out of his control. She hated telling him that he had to go on, but it was necessary. As the night drove on, she knew it was getting harder for him to just sit there and wait patiently. There was much to be said, yet such little time, and it was still a great risk that they would be caught.  
  
_Max? _  
  
Max looked up suddenly and knew this was the end. Their time was almost near, and she hoped it would not be the last. She knew he was trying to form the right words to say, the words that might be a goodbye, and the words that might be their last.  
  
_Yeah?  
  
I love you, Max. It may have taken us a year, but it was worth it. I will forever cherish the time that we had together and I look forward to the time we will have together in the future. I know we will see each other again. Fate brought us together, and it is fate that will join us again. See you soon. _  
  
"See you soon," Max echoed as Logan logged off.  
  


*****

  
It was three in the morning and Max yawned. She had begun to notice the effects her pregnancy was having on her. She needed more sleep, but she had to appear as if working frantically. She had reported to Renfro that she would have Eyes Only's location by morning. When she told her the news, she could see the gleam in Renfro's eyes. Like a predator about to pounce on its prey.   
  
She warned the Director that from the information she gleaned from his computer so far, it looked like he was heavily protected. Renfro had frowned but said she would bring in the X5's as well as regular troops. Acting like the soldier she was supposed to be, she had requested permission to speak and had informed her that it appeared that she would need more than the X5's.  
  
Luckily, Renfro had taken her seriously and called up to prepare both X series to be ready to leave in the morning. Max had almost dropped her guard when she agreed with her. A small sigh of relief escaped but it was hardly noticeable. At least it was better than the shout of joy that Max had felt but did not verbalize.  
  
So now she was working on the computer, essentially doing nothing. She had already double checked the system and made sure her files and research looked real for Renfro to look over in the morning. Unfortunately she couldn't sleep; she knew she would need it for the day to come. If she told Renfro at five, then they would most likely leave at six. Given the fact that Renfro did not want to lose any time, they would fly to Seattle and that gave her and Victor only an hour and a half to leave before Renfro discovered that she had not found Eyes Only.   
  
Her morning walk was always at 6:30 after breakfast. Their escape would happen then and Max couldn't wait. Even though she was tired, she was getting excited, ready to escape the drab walls of Manticore. It was time to go home.  
  


*****

  
At 0500 hours, Max had word sent off to Renfro that she had found his location.  
  
Renfro walked briskly in soon after, the gleam back in her eyes. If Max hadn't known better, she would have thought that she had stayed up all night too, anxious for the information. "Report?" she ordered.  
  
"Ma'am. I have established his location in Seattle as presumed earlier. Here is the address." Max handed over a sheet paper.  
  
"Have you been able to verify this is indeed Eyes Only?" Renfro may have been heartless, but she still wanted to be sure. It would not look good in the committee's eyes if they went after the wrong person.  
  
"Yes, Ma'am." Max turned to the computer and flipped through several screens as she had planned. Finally coming to the old broadcast Logan had given her; she played it for Renfro.  
  
"Excellent work, X5-452." Renfro praised her. It was shock to be praised, but Max knew Renfro was too happy to even not acknowledge her work. Besides she had more respect for the X series than the regular military soldiers that were employed on the base.  
  
She waited to see if she required more proof but Renfro quickly turned to leave. Although Max could have done the whole scheme in less than four months since she had not looked at more of her research, it had been a necessary precaution. The time had also cemented the appearance that she was a dedicated soldier, and reprogrammed successfully.  
  
The door slammed shut after Renfro left and Max smiled. Soon. Her plan of escape was now about to be put into action.  
  
_I'm coming home to you, Logan. _   
  
  



	9. Anticipation

*gasp* Yes, yes... I'm posting again!! It's been, what two weeks? For a moment I panicked that I was posting without the next chapter even in sight of being done, but then I realized that I'm working a chapter ahead, so whew!! I'm good. This is a tad shorter than normal, but it was draining to write. Beware it's an emotional roller coaster ride.  
  
A ton of thanks go to Nikky, who came up with the ideas for this chapter. This chapter originally wasn't planned, but I think we needed Logan's thoughts and reactions to the news of Max alive.   
  
Also more continual thanks to Skye, for beta'ing, you've been a great help!!  
  
  
Chapter 9 _Anticipation   
  
The night of M/L's last conversation over computer_  
  
Logan finally shut off his computer and smiled to himself in the darkness of his apartment. Bling had long since left and he'd been staring at Max's photo for hours.   
  
She's alive. Max is alive.   
  
He had not heard such sweeter words than those over the past four months. Not even if his doctor told him that there was a cure for his paralysis. What was walking worth if not for Max?   
  
But now she was alive. And soon he would see her again. To see those beautiful brown eyes, pouty lips, and her smile. Months of dreams were finally coming true. Yet he couldn't get his hopes too high. It was only if she could escape Manticore. She may have escaped ten years ago as a child, along with her siblings, but this time it was only with Victor.   
  
Yet it was hard not to get excited, to forget that in one week she wasn't just coming home from a vacation or some trip but that she was indeed escaping from a military facility. They were details.   
  
With a sigh, he unlocked the brakes on his chair, and set forth to get ready for bed. Bling would get on his case again if he found him sleeping at the computer desk. Which was quite frequent these past few months as he tried to get on with his life. There were days when it hurt so much to think about Max, that work was the only thing that saved him from going crazy and crying all day.   
  
His trips to her grave had been more frequent and each time he talked to her, he felt a step closer to fully accepting her death and moving on without her. Some days felt normal, he would get through the day without thinking about her, which hurt enough, but he knew it was the right direction to go. At night though, the memories would wash over him and the whole day's work seemed for naught. Some nights he would smile in the good memories, other nights he would see her bloody body in his arms.   
  
Tonight would be different. Tonight he might actually get a good night's sleep. Tonight he could fall asleep knowing she was alive. The previous night he hadn't been able to sleep, not knowing if he was right to believe those seemingly innocent messages on the computer. They sounded like Max, yet he knew anything could have happened to Max or someone else could be trying to take advantage of him in his time of grief.   
  
Now he was positive. There was no doubt that it was Max.   
  
His hands touched the cool metal of the push rims on his chair as he made his way to his bedroom. It was an unconscious motion to him now, it was the same as if his brain had told his legs to move each foot if he'd been walking. He went through the motions of getting ready then settled himself in bed. Taking his glasses off and setting them on his nightstand, he closed his eyes wishing the next few days would fly by him.   
  
Instead of falling into peaceful sleep, he saw Max when he closed his eyes. And this time, they were times when she was smiling and laughing... with him. There she was the first time they met. Kicking his butt mind you, but nonetheless, there she was in all her glory. Smirking as he realized that Peter was down and she was just a thief. Her black catsuit gleamed in the moonlight and he had fallen right then and there for her... hard.   
  
Then the next night, at Crash, as he approached her and walked outside with her. She looked so young then, before he really knew her past. She'd asked about Mrs. Eyes Only, a sign of interest maybe? It had certainly made his ego inflate some. But he was still so drawn to her, so curious, so... smitten. His journalist side had pressured for more, and in the end used his feelings and her possible attraction when he stood before her in front of the mirror.   
  
Oh, he remembered the feel of her standing so close to him, the smell of her hair as he stood over her. It would be the last time he would be so open with her and touched her in such a way, pulling her hair back and tracing her neck where he finally found her barcode. He wished so much that he hadn't been so stupid later and had admitted he liked her. But she too was dancing around him as they delicately balanced their friendship and business partnership. Subconsciously he had craved touching her again, feeling her soft skin and silky curls. He ached to kiss her full lips as she smiled and laughed in his presence.   
  
It had been a wonderful feeling when he stood up for her that first time and looked in her eyes. She had cried, and he'd wanted to wipe away the tears. The look in her eyes had shown him that she was worth it; she was the one he wanted. And later on the beach... they were so close, yet still far away. He just wanted to hold his hand out and pull her in, and keep her with him forever. Instead he settled for tugging her next to him with his cane, feeling the water rush over their feet. It had been a glorious feeling, the sand between his toes, and Max in his arms.   
  
That night he'd given up his cane and greeted her at the door face to face for the first time since... ever. She'd crashed through the skylight the first time and picked the lock the second night. And after that... Well that night he just enjoyed just seeing her in what was a very new situation for the both of them. Bling had said it was a date, and in retrospect, it was, but he'd been too stubborn to admit it. Too bad he forgot to turn on the oven and Zack interrupted their night. But he enjoyed it anyway, for the short time it was. Any time with Max alone, he appreciated, savored and continued to wish for more.   
  
The last night though... that had been everything he had ever dreamed of. Standing up for her, to see the look on her face, and to give her that moment. He could finally look back on that night in happiness instead of pain. And with that thought he opened his eyes, unable to sleep, knowing exactly what he had to do.   
  
  
Logan stared at the red grain of the closet door in front of him. After a few minutes when his vision was sufficiently blurred, he backed up to the side and opened the door. There on the floor lay the exo-skeleton. He knew Bling had kept it after it broke earlier in the summer, but at the time he was too angry to look at it again. The time seeing it again just to throw it away was too hard for him too. It had failed both him and Max in the forest that day, so it had seemed pointless for him to fix it. But now Max was alive, and again he felt the need to try to stand up for her.   
  
Those memories had been some of the happiest moments he'd spent with Max, and he wanted to give her that happiness again. He wanted to stand up and welcome her home with open arms. To hold her tight, to look her in the eyes and finally kiss her once again.   
  
Bending down, he picked up the exo-skeleton and placed it across his legs. Awkwardly maneuvering his chair around, he pushed his wheels towards his office. Laying it on his work table, he remembered the first time he had tried to fix it. Their anniversary was coming and he wanted to surprise Max. This time he did not have to hide the exo-skeleton from Max, not only since she already knew about it, but also because she wouldn't be popping in like before.   
  
For the first time, his heart didn't hurt thinking about Max popping in his apartment all the time and her recent absence. In a few days, she'd be back, picking his lock and popping in unannounced like always. Unless...  
  
He shook his head. There was no chance that she would want to move in with him. She always enjoyed her freedom and independence. Besides, she'd feel bad for leaving Original Cindy high and dry for the past four months.   
  
Mentally, he chastised himself. Original Cindy. He'd forgotten about her. Should he call her and tell her that Max was alive? Or should he wait until she was safely home and let Max surprise her? Although he didn't like to think about it, there was a chance that Max wouldn't come home. It would be even more painful on Original Cindy if she found out that Max was still gone or dead again without even having the chance to talk to her the way he had.   
  
He tried to tell himself that everything would be okay, Max's plan would be pulled off without a hitch and she would be home soon and Original Cindy would see her again. And so would he. A few days from now, he would be standing in front of her, and he knew things would finally be right in his life.   
  
Pulling out some tools, he started the task of putting the exo-skeleton back together and just hoped that it wouldn't take too long.   
  


*****

  
Logan felt someone shove his arm as he woke up the next morning. Groaning, he picked his head up and blinked in confusion. Adjusting his glasses that were laying rather askew on his nose, his eyes finally focused on the person in front of him. Bling.   
  
He raised his eyebrows expectantly, staring at him then the mess on the table that had been his makeshift bed this morning. Shaking his head, Bling just pulled up a chair next to him.   
  
"Man, I keep finding you asleep... away from your bed. You have to stop this. Why was this-" he swept his arm over the exo-skeleton, "so important that you worked on it instead of sleep. I know you didn't start it early in the evening, it was already late when I left last night and you were still on the computer."   
  
Given the look only Bling and his mom had perfected, Logan cringed, turning his eyes away. How could he explain it? That last night he had gone to bed only to get up again, knowing he had to do this? He'd been reminded of all the times he'd stood before Max and he had to do it again. These past few months he'd relegated himself to the chair with no problems, Max was gone. Now she was coming back, and the chair wasn't good enough.   
  
He glanced up at Bling and replied seriously, "You don't understand Bling, it just hit me last night and I had to start working on it. I have no idea how long this will take, but I want to stand for her next week."   
  
Bling sighed, and stood up. "If that's what you feel, then fine, but I think you need to give this some more thought. Think about what Max really wants, and if that involves the exo-skeleton."   
  
Logan watched as Bling left the room, then glanced over the exo-skeleton lying on the table. It was in bad shape and he had not been able to do much last night. But it was not going to stop him, he was going to fix it and stand for her. If not for Max, didn't he want to stand up to look her in the eyes? How long did he have to look up at her? With a yawn, he picked up some tools and started again from where he had left off.   
  
A few hours and a couple cups of coffee later, he found himself nowhere near closer than when he started. But he wasn't about to give up. He had time right? Just under a week before she would be back. Home. That gave him a wonderful feeling. It also gave him a renewed energy and purpose when he looked back down at the exo-skeleton.   
  
"Don't even think about it."   
  
Logan looked up surprised at the voice. Bling stood there, arms crossed staring at him. "I saw you stop. You're tired and I know it. If you persist in this, I want to at least see you take care of yourself. So go eat, take a shower and then we'll see about working on it again."   
  
Mock saluting, Logan answered, "Yes Sir." With slow and tired movements, he pushed himself away from the desk and followed Bling back in the kitchen.   
  


*****

  
_Two days later_  
  
The sound of glass shattering assaulted his ears but he didn't care. He had thrown a tool across the room and one of his office walls got the brunt of the punishment. Numbly he stared at the mess of tools, wires, and miscellaneous parts of the exo-skeleton in front of him. Nothing made sense. Unconsciously he played with a screwdriver in his hand, rolling it between fingers and spinning it around. Suddenly he started pushing down on it, not realizing that he was digging into his leg.   
  
Frustration was coursing through his veins. He was panicked and scared too. Two days had passed and the exo-skeleton was in more pieces than when he'd started. Why couldn't he figure it out? He'd called Sebastian already and he tried to help, but in the end he apologized and told Logan he was on his own. For a brief second he'd been angry with Sebastian, but realized it wasn't his fault. There was only so much he could help him with and he'd done enough for him in the past.   
  
He'd also gone through his contacts, trying to see if anyone would know how to help him, but in the end he knew it was too risky. This was too close to him. If there was any slip... Besides it wasn't just asking for a part or why a servomotor wasn't working. It was much more than that.   
  
Sighing and cradling his head in his free hand, he looked down and noticed the screwdriver ready to break through his pants and skin shortly after. Letting up on the pressure he cursed to himself. Of course he hadn't known, he couldn't even feel when he was inflicting pain on his own body. There was sure to be a bruise later. Oh well.   
  
Looking around the room, he saw the glass pieces littering the floor. It was a good thing Bling was out at the moment. Logan would never hear the end of it if he saw this mess. The past couple days Bling had been forcing him to get away from his office, to eat, to sleep, and to do therapy. He appreciated everything Bling did for him, but sometimes he felt babied. Just because he was in the chair, did not mean he couldn't take care of himself. Sure after Max's 'death', he'd been out of it, but that wasn't the case now.   
  
A half an hour later, he was bending over awkwardly still cleaning up the glass when he heard a knock on the door to the office. He looked up and saw Bling grinning at him.   
  
"Did someone get a little upset?"   
  
Logan groaned and just bent down to continue picking up the glass. "I'm fine now, thank you."   
  
"Need some help?"   
  
Glancing up sharply, he glared at Bling. "I can handle my own problems, thank you."   
  
Bling crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "I know you can handle your own problems but accepting a little help doesn't imply that I think otherwise nor does it imply defeat on your part. Simply that a friend is trying to be there for a friend who is obviously in need. Will you let me be that for you? You're killing yourself over this and there's no reason to be...and I know you well enough to know you are too smart for these superficial ideals to really be the core of your problem, your stress...."   
  
He paused to let his words sink in then continued, "You're scared she's going to be different...now that's what I think."   
  
Logan closed his eyes briefly then sat back up. Staring off at the broken wall, he replied in a tired voice, "It's been four months, Bling. Four long months. Of course she's going to be different. Then look at me. Have I changed that much? Not really. Is this what she still wants? I couldn't even save her in the woods that day."   
  
Bling interrupted, "You know she won't blame you for that. Besides you couldn't help her, it was too serious."   
  
Focusing back on Bling, Logan looked at him saddened. "I should have done something. But I didn't, then Lydecker took me out. What can I really offer her? Food? Wine? Hot water?" His voice started to rise with each word, then he practically yelled, "What am I good for, except to get her in trouble?"   
  
Jerking his hands to his wheels, he tried to move past Bling, but was stopped immediately with a simple foot in his path. At least he didn't pull on his chair, Logan was at least thankful for that, for Bling knew better than to forcefully touch him in any way, including the chair.   
  
Bending down to look Logan straight in the eyes, Bling scolded him, his voice deadly calm but serious, "I do not want to hear that again. You know you're more than the chair, and you know Max accepts it. Four months won't change that. We've gone through this before Logan, and it's about time you said 'Forget about the chair, I just want Max.' Because Max wants this too and your pity fest is not a nice welcome home gift for her."   
  
There was silence for a moment before Logan quietly spoke up. "I just want to stand for her."   
  
Bling sighed. "Then go and work on the exo-skeleton, but tell yourself that if you can't fix it, then you're okay with the chair. You'll kill yourself Logan if you keep relying on it. You're paralyzed. Face it. That machine is not the answer to everything. And it's certainly not the answer to a relationship. It won't make or break it." Standing up, he turned and left the room, leaving Logan to think to himself.   
  
Think he did, but he was stubborn and his mind was still set on the exo-skeleton. Bling had given him many lectures in the beginning, and whenever he thought Logan needed one. Which was way too many for his taste. It was easy for Bling to say forget about the chair, but he wasn't the one stuck in it. He wasn't the one who lived in it every day and had to deal with everyone's stares and looks of pity.   
  
Wasn't he allowed his own pity? Wasn't he allowed to be angry at times? After all, Bling told him not to bottle things up. So now he was angry and Bling wanted him to be all peachy about the chair. He felt like throwing another tool, but didn't want to clean up another mess, nor pay for more repairs.   
  
Instead he went back to his worktable and with a determined face, he set back to work again. He _was_ going to stand for her.   
  


*****

  
_Three days later_  
  
"Looky who's out today. Haven't seen you around lately, boo."   
  
Logan put the fruit down that he'd been inspecting and turned around at the familiar voice. Original Cindy stood there, hands on her hips, looking at him expectantly. He sighed, this was not what he needed today. Finding his voice, he replied, "Well, someone needed to get some food. Bling said he was busy so here I am."   
  
"Well, he's not your servant, you know. He's only your physical therapist." She raised her eyebrows at him, giving him the look.   
  
"I'm well aware of that Original Cindy, but I've been extremely busy lately and I don't have the time for this. Besides he helps me out all the time. Going to the market is not unusual for him." He fought to keep him voice calm, as the anger was building in him. Earlier today he already had the same fight with Bling. Today was just the not the day for him to have to come out to the market and shop. The exo-skeleton was forefront on his mind and each new problem that arose after fixing one was bringing him closer to his breaking point.   
  
He had to fix it. And soon.   
  
"You're always busy, boo. Give the guy some slack. Why haven't I seen you around anyway? I mean, I know she's gone, but you got to get over it. All work and no play is not the way to go."   
  
Logan snapped and inched closer to her, hands clenching his wheels. "Look, you have no idea what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. It's none of your business and I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of it."   
  
Putting her hands up in front of her, she backed away slightly. "Hey, down boy. I'm not criticizing or anything. What's up with you? You seem way too jumpy. This is definitely more than your spoiled rich boy who has to do something himself act. What's got you so uptight?"   
  
For a second he tried to think of the right response for her, but then her words smacked him the face. What was he doing? Was the exo-skeleton that important that he had to fight with Bling on going to the market and lash out at Original Cindy for his past week of frustration with fixing it? It wasn't going to get Max home any sooner and it wasn't going to confirm her love.   
  
He brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes. Most importantly, it shouldn't come between him and his friends. That was obvious now and he knew he had to take a different approach. Glancing back up at her, he gave her a weak smile.   
  
"I'm sorry. This past week has been hard, and there's a deadline coming up, or I thought there was a deadline. I don't think it may be that imperative now. Thanks for the slap in the face."   
  
Original Cindy shrugged, but gave him a smile. "You're welcome, sugar. Just speaking the truth when I see it. I know my boo wouldn't want you to run yourself ragged. Some things just aren't that important and you need to know when things really matter. You have to let yourself unwind a bit every now and then too."   
  
Logan nodded in agreement. "I should, and I will. Soon. I still have this deadline, in a way." The thought of Max brought a big smile to his face and Original Cindy caught it.   
  
"I see... me thinks you're looking forward to something. Hope it all goes well. I just came to say 'hi', so now I have to get back to work before Normal starts screaming again. Just dropping a package off. I'll see you later, right boo?" She gave him the look, pretty much daring him to say no.   
  
He laughed. "Yeah, I'll see you later." She gave him a wave before she made her way through the maze of vendors with her bike. Turning back around to the fruit vendor, he could only keep grinning knowing once again Original Cindy had imparted her words of wisdom. What was it with her and Bling? If she didn't swing that way, he could have sworn they were perfect for each other.   
  


*****

  
An hour later back at his penthouse, he stared at the exo-skeleton. He now had two days left till Max would hopefully be home. It still wasn't working and he had no clue when or if it would ever work. It had taken a hard beating when he crumpled to the floor from Lydecker's defense and subsequent fly across the room. Originally when he got it from Phil, he knew what to do, which parts were needed, but this time it was worse.   
  
It wasn't worth it, was it? He had been fine in the chair up until Max's transfusion had taken effect and he regained his legs. He'd been fine this summer. The exo-skeleton shouldn't have even been made available to him. The rest of the world sure didn't have their own exo-skeleton to help them along. His life was in the chair, plain and simple. Max accepted it a long time ago; he needed to now.   
  
Looking back on the week, he chuckled. He'd been crazy thinking he could fix this thing. He had been too stubborn to notice, too set on standing for her that he'd pushed everything away. Having Max back was the only thing that should have mattered to him, not whether he was standing or sitting. Bling had been right. Hell, Bling was always right.   
  
Picking up a tool, he stared at it for a moment, then started collecting his other tools. He had other things to do to prepare for Max's homecoming, and the exo-skeleton wouldn't be one of them. It just wasn't meant to be.   
  
  



	10. The Longest Moment

Author's Note: Elysium is going on a temporary hold because of burnout (school). Please be patient with me, I do intend to finish this!!  
  
  
Chapter 10 _The Longest Moment_  
  
Max grinned as she entered the last line of code into the computer. The last four months were not all for naught, as she had dug up classified information on Manticore that she had sent to Logan. Now she had just leaked out a virus that would activate as soon as they left Manticore premises. Cleaning up her work and removing everything about Eyes Only and anything that could be traced to Logan, she turned off the computer.   
  
Standing up, she stretched out the kinks in her neck and shoulders from the hours, weeks, and months of working on the computer for this one day. With a satisfied smile, she turned and walked out of the room ready for what was to come.   
  
Making her way back to her room for a shower and to get ready, she eyed the guards as she walked down the corridors. Most were standing around, minding their own business, not too worried about anything. She just hoped that would continue and her plan to escape during her walk would go off unhitched. The cameras would be looped after breakfast when she would see Victor for the last time before they met up at his car.   
  
She hoped everything would go well on his part. He had more to worry about, seeing that he had to overcome guards to release Zack. Not to mention, he had to get Zack to come with him in the first place! And when they actually left the compound, he would be the one to confront the guards at the perimeter. Her part was easy; make it to his car and stay in the trunk until past the gates.   
  


*****

  
Victor stashed his bag in a closet in the hallway then picked up the tray of meds he brought with him. Swiping his card to enter the wing where Zack was being held, he entered and nervously walked to the guard's station. The guard looked up at him surprised.   
  
"What are you doing here?"   
  
Looking sheepish, Victor put on a small smile. "The meds were mixed up. X5-599 got X5-452's vitamins. I don't think Director Renfro would be pleased to see his reprogramming interrupted. I rather not be the one to tell her, anyway."   
  
The guard chuckled. "I know what you mean. Go on in. Although I seriously wonder about those drugs you guys are giving him. He's still as crazy as the day he came in here." He led Victor through another locked door and down to Zack's room. Nodding at the guard at the door, the second guard unlocked it.   
  
Victor's hand came up to his tray and he fingered a syringe carefully. As the guard opened the door and walked in ahead of him, he summoned all his nerves and quickly jabbed the needle into the first guard still standing outside with him. He fell to the floor as the tranquilizer took effect immediately. With one arm, Victor tried to break his fall, as to not alert the guard inside the room. Settling him down, he walked in behind the remaining guard whose back was towards him. He could see Zack sitting on the floor in the corner, watching the two of them cautiously. It was obvious that he was on the lookout for a time to overtake them so he could escape.   
  
Zack had been clear of the drugs for a week since Max had told Victor of their planned escape. Over the four months, Victor had tried to switch Zack's drugs as often as he could, but never too frequently so he wouldn't be caught or the drugs proved useless. There would be times that they saw progress in Zack whenever he had the drugs for awhile, but then suddenly he would regress when he was free of the drugs once again.  
  
Taking a second syringe from his pocket, Victor plunged it into the guard's neck. The guard's hand instinctively came up to remove the offending needle, but it was out before he could touch it. And soon after he passed out.   
  
Zack stood up and stayed by the wall looking at Victor a little leery. Although his strength could easily overpower Victor, he still had no clue that his body was free of the drugs. Not to mention, the techs like Victor usually came in to give him such drugs.   
  
"Who are you?" he finally asked as Victor let him look him over. But it was just for a moment. No time could be lost.   
  
"Victor. We're leaving now." Victor answered, hoping it wouldn't take too much to convince the X5.   
  
But that was too much to ask for.   
  
"How can I trust you? They've played these games on me before," Zack spat out, his stance tightened, as he rose to his full height, giving off an impression that no one told him what to do.   
  
Sighing, Victor replied, "Because I've been switching your drugs every chance I got these past few months, if you haven't noticed. Because I want to leave Manticore to see Jace again, and my baby. Because I'm helping Max escape too."   
  
"Max is dead."   
  
Laying down the tray, Victor stood back up to look Zack in the eye. "No, she's not. You were both told that the other was dead to help reprogram you. Right now, she's making her way to my car so we can leave. She gave me a message to tell you, in hopes that you would believe me."   
  
Pausing a moment, he tried to gauge Zack's reaction. He stood still, stoic and void of any sign of emotion or belief.   
  
"It's time for miracle number two, big brother. I'm ready to go home, to be with miracle number one and I hope you'll come with me."   
  
Zack's stance relaxed slightly and a small grin touched the edges of his mouth, but quickly disappeared. That was Maxie alright and it was finally time to leave.   
  
Nodding, Zack followed Victor's lead and tied the guard to the cot in the room, gagging him and removing his keys and radio. They brought the second guard in and did the same, but after Zack switched clothing with him. It would be too obvious if Zack walked around as he was; he needed to blend in with the normal employees in Manticore. Locking the door behind them, they made their way back down the hallway and out of the wing after a quick stop at the closet where Victor had stashed his bag. They used the guard's cards, swiping them at the doors and quietly snuck through the halls as they made their way through the compound. Victor had already plotted out a route that avoided the main concentrations of people and guards.   
  


*****

  
A fury was building up inside Max as she walked down the hallways of Manticore. This was going to be the last day she stayed at this place. Quickly, quietly, but with the air that she owned the place, she stormed the corridors, making her way to garage where she would meet up with Victor and Zack. There was no way anyone would stop her today. She was determined to escape and there was no chance in hell that any guard was going to keep her here.   
  
The first guard she encountered, she tried to stay calm and collected. Which was a good laugh in and of itself. But she knew that a trail of unconscious guards would hinder, not help her chances of a silent escape.   
  
He looked up at her surprised, "What are you doing here?"   
  
She smiled sweetly. Laying her hand on her stomach she lied through her teeth, "I started feeling nauseous so I came back to lie down." Inwardly she wanted to kick the guy and be done with it.   
  
Looking a little uneasy at her mention of nausea, he quickly replied, "Should I get a doctor?"   
  
Max shook her head. "It's not that serious. I just need to lie down."   
  
Shifting uneasily, he asked her, "Do you need me to walk you to your room?"   
  
Sighing, she shook her head again. This guy was getting annoying. He nodded and stepped aside, letting her pass. Giving him another saccharine sweet smile she quickly kept walking, hoping he wouldn't call her in.   
  
When she encountered second guard she tried to give him the same story but the idiot was smart enough to realize she was going in the wrong direction. Well now he was wishing he hadn't encountered a pregnant X5, hell bent on leaving, for at the moment he couldn't move or breath. She had kicked him where the sun of God didn't shine... and stuffed him in a closet. Of course his misery was short lived; she knocked him unconscious afterwards.  
  
Walking a little further, keeping her ear tuned to the radio she confiscated from the last guard, she tried to make sure the first guard hadn't ratted on her. So far there was no sign that he had.   
  
With each step though, her anger mounted. They had kept her here for four months. Four months that she should have been in Seattle with Logan. Home. It was her home now. And home meant Logan. He didn't even know she was pregnant. They had kept her from sharing these first few months with him. And they never meant for him to know, or for her to even keep her baby. They only saw her baby as science, as a means to keep Manticore alive.   
  
Well, they weren't getting her baby anymore. Not if she had anything to do with it. With a feral grin, she thought of the mess Manticore would be soon. Never mess with an upset X5. Most especially her.   
  
So the third guard never saw what was coming his way.   
  
Three guards down, only a few more hallways to go. Max almost had a bounce in her step as she walked on. After all, the cameras were looped and no one was there to witness her anger management.   
  


*****

  
Slipping into the shadows in the garage, Max looked around to find Victor and Zack. She grinned as she caught sight of her big brother. "Zack!!" He was alive, just like Victor told her.   
  
Zack turned around to see Max running towards him. Although what Victor had said was very convincing, he had still had doubts about Max. But there she was, very much alive.  
  
"Max," he started, but she quickly pulled him into a hug before he could say anything else.   
  
"I thought you were dead, Zack. I thought I had your heart," she whispered.   
  
He shook his head and replied, "I'm not dead, but I thought you were dead." Falling back into his tough exterior, he let her go and continued, "Let's get going. We need to get as far as we can before they realize that we left. That's if this actually works." He looked pointedly at Victor. Zack didn't like relying on other people, especially civilians, but it was their only way. "I want to be in Canada by nightfall."   
  
Max stepped back from Zack a few steps. Staring at him in disbelief she echoed, "Canada?" Shaking her head violently she argued, "No, we're going back to Seattle."  
  
Zack sighed. "No Max, we need to go to Canada. They're going to know we, or at least you would try to go back there. It's been four months; that part of your life is gone. You're going to Canada."   
  
"We're going back to Seattle, Zack."   
  
"Oh come on, Maxie!! It's over!! He's not worth it! He's not worth Manticore coming after you." Zack cried out frustrated.   
  
"Manticore won't be coming after me!! I've made sure of it. Besides, I'M PREGNANT!!" Max yelled, tears coursing down her cheeks. "And I love him," she whispered.   
  
"Get in the car," Zack ordered. He pointed to the car where Victor waited.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I said, get in the car. Now. We'll discuss this later."   
  
"When Zack? Right before or after you try to haul me to Canada. Or maybe after I have the kid?"   
  
Clenching his jaw, Zack repeated once more, "Just get in the car. We don't have time for this."   
  
Max stood firm. "Look Zack, I have someone else to think about now. I want this baby to have the life we never had. To be able to live without running; to be safe and to have a family. And that life is in Seattle with him. I don't care if you run off to Canada once we reach Seattle, but that's where I'm going and you can't change my mind."   
  
Zack threw his hands up in the air. "Fine!! If you want to go back to Miracle Boy and get caught, then so be it. I told you once, and I'll tell you again - you're on your own. I'm not going to risk my life or any of the others if you want to be stupid." He walked briskly back to the car and the opened trunk. Turning around, he called out to Max. "Well, what are you waiting for? Don't you want to go home to Miracle Boy?"   
  
"I swear, if you call him that one more time, I'm going to leave you on the side of the road. He's helped you and you can't deny that. When we meet him, he's going to have IDs and passes for you and Victor. So I'd keep my mouth shut about him and tell him 'thank you.'"   
  
"I don't need his help. I've lived this long without his papers," he shot back.   
  
Max glared at him coldly as if saying 'If we had the time and I wasn't carrying my lover's child, I would really kick your a$$ right now.' Stalking past him, she got in the trunk.   
  


*****

  
Victor drove the car out to the gate nervously. Sweat was already starting to build under his shirt. He just hoped the guard wouldn't notice. Max and Zack were in the trunk, and hopefully they wouldn't ask to check it. As Max told him, if they did, she would give the guard a friendly dose of tranquilizer, if Zack didn't knock him out first, and he would have to ram the gate.   
  
Pulling up to the guard station, he clumsily fingered the button to lower the window. This would have to be one of his best performances. Even better then talking with Renfro. He shuddered. And that was hard enough.   
  
There were four guards stationed at the gate. One walked to his window. "Hey Vic. What's going on?"   
  
Victor smiled, "Hey George, I'm off home for a few days. I got a call from my mother. She started yelling and screaming about how the basement's flooding and I needed to come fix it. I swear she doesn't know how to call a plumber."   
  
George laughed. "Isn't that always the case? My old lady did the same thing last year. When I went home I found out that the washing machine was broken and had leaked."  
  
Shaking his head and chuckling, Victor hoped it wouldn't last much longer. He seriously wanted to get away quickly and quietly. The thought of going through the gate did not sound fun to him. Nor the inevitable chase and barrage of bullets that they would shoot at him.   
  
George stood up briefly, stretching his back, then leaned back down to talk to Victor again. "So, did you clear this leave through the Director?"   
  
With a sickening feeling growing in his stomach, Victor shook his head. "No, she was gone already when my mother called. I cleared it through my supervisor though. Got my work handed off to another tech. I hope only to be gone a few days."   
  
Nodding, George waved his hand to another guard to open the gates. Turning to Victor, he replied, "That's fine. It always takes forever getting the Director's approval for anything anyways. Have fun cleaning up the basement!! See you in a few days."   
  
Grinning, Victor waved back to George as he started the car towards the opening gates. Almost there...  
  
As he cleared the gates, he let out his breath, unaware he had even held it in as he waited on the gates and wondered if they would figure out that he had two X5's in his trunk. But fifty yards past the gate, he saw them closing behind him and he knew he had made it. Driving down the road away from Manticore he finally felt relief. A weight was gone from his shoulders and he started laughing. He had just driven out of Manticore with Max and Zack in his trunk and they had no clue.   
  
Five minutes later he pulled off on the side of the road and got out. Walking back to the trunk, he opened it to find Max and Zack glaring at each other. Big surprise there. Apparently sibling rivalry was still true even with the genetically engineered. Holding his hand out for Max, he pulled her out. Zack followed, not waiting for any help.   
  
Ignoring Zack, Max turned to Victor and smiled. "So he bought the basement story huh? You did great. Thank you so much for all you've done for me the past four months, Victor. It's time for us to go home, and you can finally see Jace again."   
  
Zack grunted. "Can we just go? I don't want to stay in this area for long. They're bound to notice our absences."   
  
Max rolled her eyes. Looking down at her watch, she smiled. "Well in ten minutes they won't care about our disappearance. They're gonna be more worried about the computer system that's going to crash."   
  
Glancing at Zack, then back to Victor, she grinned. "I wasn't just working on Eyes Only."   
  
Victor laughed. "Nice work. Well I guess we should continue. I'm happy to be past the gate, but I wouldn't mind getting rid of this car and getting out of the state of Wyoming."  
  
"Finally," Zack muttered, then he marched around the car and got in the front seat. Victor and Max looked at each other and grinned. This was going to be an interesting ride.   
  


*****

  
Brin walked out of the building to Renfro's waiting jeep. Once at her door, Renfro looked up at her. "Well?" she asked.   
  
"Ma'am, you need to come see this."   
  
"Is it Eyes Only?" she asked with a sinister grin.   
  
Brin hesitated then replied, "Yes, Ma'am."   
  
Inside, the soldiers and X-7's stood ready, waiting for orders. Renfro walked in and immediately noticed the table with the monitor, Eyes Only's eyes staring out.   
  
"What is this?" Renfro barked out.   
  
"It's for you, Ma'am," Brin answered.   
  
**_"This is Eyes Only. This is a personal message for Director Renfro. You were foolhardy to think I would not notice someone hacking into my computer. Meanwhile, I was hacking into yours. Manticore will be stopped. And the time is now. Eyes Only out."_**  
  
Renfro turned to Brin, eyes blazing with anger. The message continued to repeat in the background and it only made her angrier. "How did this happen?"   
  
"I don't know Ma'am," Brin responded.   
  
As Renfro was about to reply, Brin turned her head sharply. She looked outside of the warehouse and scanned the area. Several hundred feet away from them, she saw Krit and Syl standing there watching them. They gave her a quick wave then ran.   
  
She looked back at Renfro in horror as the Director stood there confused. Krit had been holding a small black box and she knew exactly what it was.   
  
Suddenly a flash and huge bang engulfed them all.   
  


*****

  
Max sat quietly in the back seat. Actually the whole car was quiet, because Victor and Zack weren't talking. As for her, she was nervous. Yes, she was excited to finally be out of Manticore and she was looking forward to see Logan, but she didn't know how he'd react. Would he be able to tell she was pregnant? She wasn't showing that much and her clothes covered her pretty well.   
  
But besides her pregnancy, she was just unsure how the meeting would go. It had been four months after all. There had been doubts on her part and she knew that he probably went on with his life too. She had died in his arms, so she didn't blame him for his hesitance to believe she was alive again. Or if she was even the Max he had known beforehand.   
  
The silence in the car didn't help her though. Her mind was going in warp drive thinking about Logan and worrying about the upcoming meeting. A distraction would be nice, but she didn't dare try to start a conversation with Victor and Zack. She was happy to see Zack again, but suddenly she remembered how _well_ they got along. Not to mention his CO attitude and feelings towards Logan. He was most certainly upset with her for choosing to go back to Seattle and Logan. But she knew he was livid about the fact that she was pregnant with Logan's child.   
  
The time they spent in the trunk had been a constant argument after they left Manticore. He spouted the same things as before but Max didn't care. There was no way she would leave Logan or her life in Seattle.   
  
And now she was minutes away from seeing him. Although she knew it was risky for him to pick them up, she knew it was the only way. Who else could they ask? People might remember them if they hitched rides or stole cars. Besides, after four months, she didn't want to wait another moment to see him.   
  
Although she had dreamt of this moment for four long months, she didn't know what to do now. What would she say? After her nightmare, she didn't want their reunion to be awkward and uncomfortable like her 'soldier self' had done when they first saw each other. But a simple 'hi' didn't seem appropriate. Did she hug him? Kiss him? At least they had already talked. He knew she was alive. He said he still loved her, and she'd returned the same sentiment back. So that was laid out. Yet she was still nervous, uneasy, and quite scared to be honest.   
  
She didn't know why though. It was Logan. The only person who really knew her, understood her. That night after Valerie had hurt Logan and she had hooked up with Zack, she has voiced her yearning to connect with someone like her. But she already had. He had been sitting right in front of her. And now he was waiting for her.   
  
"Max?? MAX!!"   
  
Max looked up suddenly as she snapped out of her thoughts and heard Victor calling out to her.   
  
"What?"   
  
"There's a blue SUV parked on the side of the road coming up. Is that our ride?" He nodded to the car on the road.   
  
Max's heart constricted as she caught sight of Logan's SUV. This was it, it was finally happening. She could see Bling sitting in the driver's seat, as the car faced them, being on the opposite side of the road.  
  
"Max?"   
  
She abruptly looked back at Victor and nodded. "Yes, that's our ride."   
  
Zack groaned as he too looked inside the car. "Great. It's Miracle Boy."   
  
Victor looked at Zack surprised, then back at Max. "The father? You mean Eyes Only?" He couldn't believe it. He was going to meet Eyes Only. Two months ago she told him that the famed cyberjournalist was the father, and had been gracious enough to talk about him, and now he was meeting him. If he thought it was unreal when she told him, it seemed even more unreal now.   
  
Bling stepped out of the car as they pulled over on the side to join them. Logan stayed in the passenger seat, so she presumed he didn't have on the exo-skeleton. With her vision, she could clearly see Logan and it was obvious he was nervous too. So she wasn't the only one nervous, in a way that made her relax a little more. Plus the fact that she was finally looking at him. His eyes could always melt her into a puddle. She didn't know how she had lasted a year without finally realizing her feelings for him. The eyes did her in.   
  
However, he could not see her just yet. He was searching, trying to catch a glimpse of her, but she was hidden from his view in the back seat. As they pulled to a stop, she closed her eyes briefly, gathering her wits before opening the door. She only had to walk a few feet, and then she would be with Logan. Manticore was behind her now. Logan was her future. Concentrating on that fact she took a deep breath, slowly got out, stood, and turned to Logan's car.   
  
Their eyes met in an instant and locked onto each other. They were home.   
  
  



	11. Are We There Yet??

Author's Note: So, anybody still remember this story? I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated, but I do have an excuse!! Last time, I told you I had school burnout. Well I fixed it. I'm changing my major and looking into new schools. Therefore, I've had to work on art portfolios to send out. Now isn't it more important that I draw instead of write?? Afterall... I'm hoping to go to Vancouver. Ahh yes... you want me to go to Vancouver now don't you? I bring my camera!  
  
Thanks to those who kept reviewing in the past couple months, it really encouraged me to finish this chapter. I'm sorry to say, I have no idea when the next chapter will be done.  
  
Ok, so on with the show. Enjoy!!  
  
  
Chapter 11 _Are We There Yet??_  
  
She could feel his eyes boring into her, traveling up and down her body. It had been four months, had she changed? Most definitely. Would he be okay with her? That still scared her. She froze for a second, not quite sure what to do. He was staring at her now, puzzled. Everyone's eyes were on her now as she stood still. Something seemed wrong. Glancing around, there was nothing out of place. No black hummers bearing down on them, no helicopters - nothing. So what was wrong with her?   
  
Frightened for a second after seeing her look around, Logan took a quick glance but noticed nothing. Again he stared at her, willing her to walk to him. But something stopped her. It was like a dream. They got out just like she planned, it had been too easy. And now there he was just sitting a few feet away from her. Was Manticore waiting for her? Were they waiting to take him? She wouldn't let Manticore take him, even if it meant going back herself.   
  
Logan's eyes dropped a little as he saw the suspicion and the fear cloud her eyes. This was not happening. Four long months he had thought her dead, and now he was so close to her again. Holding out his hand, he mouthed to her, 'Please.'   
  
Something broke in her, as she suddenly sprinted towards him. Their eyes never broke contact as the distance between them closed up. Logan exhaled, letting out the breath he'd been holding since she stepped out of the car, and frozen to the ground. A smile broke out as he watched her, the past four months a distant memory in his mind. His only thoughts on finally seeing her again, touching her and feeling the soft caress of her lips.  
  
Her only thoughts were of seeing the face that had been in her dreams for months - the spikes, stubble and glasses. And those blue eyes. This was real, she was out, and Logan was here for her. She was next to him in a few seconds, practically pulling his door off the car as she yearned for the contact. Kneeling by him, her hands shook as they embraced each other tightly. Burying her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, it all came crashing down on her. She no longer had to act the soldier, she was no longer X5-452.   
  
She looked up as Logan's hands guided her head up, his gentle fingers wrapped around her neck. Tears escaped the corners of her eyes, and his thumb moved to wipe them away. His own eyes were teary, threatening to break. There was silence between them, neither knew what to say.   
  
There was nothing to say. They just held onto each other for dear life, not wanting to let go of the other. Logan, though very happy, still couldn't believe his eyes. The past week he'd prepared for her, but suddenly seeing her, touching her, was unreal. In a way, it had all been a dream. A very horrible, long dream where Max had been gone. It was one thing if she had left Seattle to escape to Canada, but she had been dead. But no more. The nightmare was over.   
  
"I don't know about you two lovebirds, but I want to get out of this state as soon as possible," Zack interrupted their reunion.   
  
Max and Logan looked up startled, but quickly returned their glance to each other. For a second, Logan thought he saw fear in her at the imminent loss of contact between them.  
  
"I'm right here," he whispered.   
  
Max nodded numbly, then leaned in to hug him again and asked in a small voice, "We have all the time in the world right?"   
  
Logan smiled, brushing some hair behind her ear. "We do now."   
  
"Not if we stay here and let them catch us again," Zack remarked, having easily heard Max.   
  
Max stood up straight and turned to glare at Zack. "We heard you the first time. Can't I have a moment with him? It's been four months since I last saw him. And unlike you, he wants to see me for more than a few seconds before wanting to run to Canada."   
  
"Canada??" Logan looked up surprised and crushed to hear that one word.   
  
Turning back around to Logan, Max shook her head. "No, we're going back to Seattle, but big brother over here wants to go to Canada. I told him he could go alone, I wasn't following."   
  
Logan sighed in relief and looked between Max and Zack. Max had tensed up and was glaring at her brother again and Zack looked pretty angry. Yep, things were normal again.   
  
Victor's timid voice broke through the tension. "As much as I want you two to have this reunion, I do agree with Zack. We're finally out and I wouldn't mind getting as far away as quick as possible. They might not kill you or Zack, but they wouldn't hesitate for a second killing me." His eyes darted around nervously, from Max to Zack, back to the mysterious person in the car.   
  
Logan caught Victor's eyes trying to catch a glimpse of him. He looked up at Max, his eyebrows raised with curiosity. "Does he know?"   
  
Max looked back ashamed, her focus now broken away from her brother. "I'm sorry. He was with me everyday, he had to know. I didn't tell him everything, not even your name. We can trust him, don't worry."   
  
"Hey, it's fine." Taking one of her hands in his, he gently massaged it with his thumb. "He got you out, I don't doubt his integrity. But he is right, we need to leave. Time is on our side if we go now, and you know what's waiting for you back home."   
  
Her eyes lit up as she grinned. "Food?"   
  
Logan chuckled and brought her hand to his lips. "Amongst other things," he replied then softly kissed her for the first time since the night Zack interrupted them. He would have preferred to kiss her in other places, but did not do so in front of their audience.  
  
But Max had other intentions. She bent down, very much like that one day outside the cabin, her hands lacing around his neck, catching him by surprise as she kissed him deeply, her tongue probing the opening of his lips and dipping inside for a taste of his sweetness. They broke apart when breathless and she quipped, "Not leaving without a kiss this time."   
  
Logan looked at her speechless, then a grin broke out, spreading across his face. "It won't be long, I promise."   
  
"It better not be," she almost growled in anticipation. She was ready to forget about the rest of their company and lose herself in Logan. Dang it all, it had been four long months without him. She didn't know how for one whole year she thought there was nothing between them.   
  
He reached a hand up to her cheek and brushed it softly. "Hey now, we've made it this far. We can wait a few more hours till we're back in Seattle," he assured her in a low, gentle voice.   
  
She nodded slowly, then nodded over at Victor. "I think he's dying to meet you. You're like a hero to him or something."   
  
"Hope it's the 'hero', not the 'something.'" Logan joked.   
  
Max rolled her eyes, then motioned Victor to come over to them. They squeezed each other's hand, not wanting to break contact just yet.   
  
For a second, Victor was too shocked to acknowledge Max and move to the car. Finally he set one foot out and quickly walked, sometimes stumbling over his own feet as he made his way over to Max and Eyes Only. His own previous statement about getting out of there fast was lost in the sudden desire to see the man behind the mask. While at Manticore, he had secretly admired him and his work even though people around him laughed and tried to take him down.   
  
As he approached them, he swallowed nervously, and his hands started to feel clammy as he wrung them in anticipation. In these days, no one paid much attention the to comic book heroes of yesteryear like Batman and Superman, no - Eyes Only was the modern day hero in the Washington area. Stopping next to Max, he took in the man before him. It was funny how genetically enhanced humans didn't phase or excite him anymore, but a mere man could, just because of the risk and the courage he had in exposing the bad guys.   
  
Although Victor had often wondered what Eyes Only looked like, he really had no idea. And now he was staring at him. He wasn't a geek, that's for sure. Many of the guys at Manticore had joked about that and guessed he was a little guy in glasses, pimple covered and totally oblivious to how he took care of himself. Aside from the glasses, they were dead wrong. He was quite good looking, in Victor's opinion, and there was a strong presence to him even though he sat in the car looking up at everyone. Although they were opposites in physical appearances, he and Max were an obvious match.  
  
Logan gave Max a little nod, and she started the introductions. "Victor, this is Logan. Logan, Victor."   
  
Logan held out his other hand to Victor to shake. "Thanks for all your help."   
  
Victor stopped him, holding his hand up. "It was the least I could do. As soon as she mentioned Jace, I knew it was time to leave. I did all I could, but the rest was up to her."  
  
"Well I have everything you need to see Jace again. We'll be dropping you off at the airport in Seattle, if you don't mind. I figured it was best to get you out of the country as soon as possible," he replied, then snuck a quick look at Zack. He was wisely staying quiet and not protesting again.   
  
Victor nodded, then smiled in relief. Soon he'd be with Jace again, and his child. She should just be about to have the baby he had calculated, and he was anxious to be there. Focusing his attention back at Logan, he remembered just who he was standing in front of.   
  
"I wanted to tell you that you do great work. I admire your courage and I hope no one, especially Manticore ever stops you from doing so."   
  
"Yeah, yeah, let's all just bow down before Eyes Only. We need to go now. You can talk in the car," Zack interrupted, walking over to the car.   
  
Logan looked between the three of them, all hovering around him. "I have clothes in the back seat." He turned to Victor, apologetic. "I didn't know Zack was coming so I only brought one set of clothes."   
  
Victor shook his head, replying, "That's fine. I was able to change before I left."   
  
Without a word, Zack grabbed the duffel bag from the car and stormed off to the other car to change. The car door slammed behind him. Everyone was silent as they waited for him to return. A couple minutes later he walked back to them, wearing a pair of wind suit pants and a T-shirt. He threw the bag at Max, and she caught it effortlessly with her free hand. Bending down, she kissed Logan on the cheek.   
  
"I'll be right back," she whispered, then sauntered off to change as well. On her way back from the car a few minutes later, she stopped to hug Bling who had been standing quietly watching the whole scene.   
  
"Hey Bling. How's it going?" She greeted him.   
  
"Not bad, Max. It's great to see you again," he smiled in return. "How are you doing?"  
  
Max looked over at Logan and grinned. "Much better now." She watched as he talked with Victor, then addressed Bling again. "How's he been? Hasn't been too much trouble, has he?"   
  
Bling frowned a bit. "He's had his moments, but I think that's all in the past now." He caught Logan's glance towards their direction as he once again made sure Max was in his sight. "You're his life, Max. Your death devastated him, but slowly he started to find his peace, a way to go on. I was there the night you contacted him. It scared him. I was afraid if this was a hoax, that he'd never pick up the pieces a second time. But it was you, and he had no doubt that you were alive. The next week he frantically prepared for your homecoming."  
  
He purposely did not tell her about Logan's problems during the past week with the exo-skeleton. She did not need to deal with those issues. He presumed she had dealt with enough herself the past four months.   
  
"This is the happiest I've seen him in months, now. I can only hope it's just the beginning." Bling winked at her.  
  
"Me too," Max quietly agreed.  
  
Once again, Logan looked over their way, and he caught Max's eye. He smiled and waved her back.   
  
"Well, it looks like it's time to head home. Thanks for coming out here with him, Bling. I appreciate it," she thanked him and gave him another hug.   
  
"Hey, I wasn't about to let him drive all the way out here by himself. He's dangerous with those hand controls sometimes, especially with you on his mind," he replied grinning.   
  
Max laughed, "I wouldn't suggest telling him that."   
  
"Not in this lifetime. I like my job."   
  
Together they walked back to the car, to which Zack immediately opened the back door and got in. Apparently he meant for them to leave that instant. Victor looked at her uneasily then back towards where Zack was sitting. Max got the message. Victor didn't feel like sitting next to Zack the entire trip. She didn't blame him; Zack was hard to get used to, and she knew it was still hard for Logan.   
  
Nodding, she walked around him to Logan, and they kissed one last time, Zack's eyes on them still. Giving his hand one last squeeze, they broke apart and she got in next to Zack, Victor following her.   
  
Max found the back seat a little tight as pushed Zack away from her. "Scoot over, you're hogging the entire seat. Remember I'm the one stuck in the middle."   
  
"Been gaining some weight just sitting around all day, Maxie?" Zack teased, though she knew exactly what he was referring to.   
  
Within a split second, Zack felt her fist come down on him - painfully in the groin area. He sucked in his breath and his face turned red as the pain washed over him. He may be a soldier, but he was also a man.   
  
"Don't ever tell a girl she's gained weight," Max threatened.   
  
Zack nodded silently.   
  
Logan had looked back and had to hide his laughter when he saw Zack's face. It was priceless. Maybe, just maybe the ride would be pleasant now that Max had shut him up. His focus switched over to Max and they smiled at each other. He would have loved to sit in the back seat with her, but he knew better than to tempt himself because they had a long drive ahead of them; not to mention they also had other people in the car.   
  
Bling pulled the car back onto the road and they were on their way. The car was quiet for awhile before Victor spoke up.   
  
"I know that the base is probably having computer problems now, but what about Renfro? She left the base with all those X series." He looked nervously around at the people in the car with him. Max and Logan were of course, very relaxed, and Zack seemed... well he was a soldier and he wasn't showing anything at the moment.   
  
Not addressing Victor right away, Max focused on Logan. "Hey Logan, did you take care of your side of the plan?"   
  
Logan turned around to face her in the back and smiled. "Krit and Syl are taking care of it. They said they'd call later when we're closer and they can reach my cell phone."   
  
"Great."   
  
Victor looked between the two of them confused. "What's going on?"   
  
"Let's just say Renfro will no longer be bothering us anymore," Max replied with a sly grin.   
  
Zack turned towards Max with a questioning look. "Max, what did you do?"   
  
Max faced Zack, defenses already up having felt him tense up at the mere mention of Renfro. "Look, I took care of a problem. Don't worry about it."   
  
"If it concerns the b!tch who has been tracking us down and ruining our lives the past few months, I want to know!! I hope you didn't do something stupid, Max. You always run off wild without the real objective in mind, with no strategy and without your head in the game! Your emotions always get the better of you and you let them lead you the wrong way," Zack raised his voice, lecturing her for what seemed like the millionth time.   
  
"I have been planning this for four months, so don't you dare accuse me of being unprepared. As for my emotions, at least I have them. I haven't let Manticore take over mine even though they don't control me anymore. We may have been designed as soldiers, but I've grown past that. And don't even give me any more of the phony sentimentality crap. If I recall, you've given yourself up for me before - twice," Max glared at him, then faced away, back towards the front of the car.   
  
A glance at Logan, who had watched the scene, was the only thing that calmed her down. He gave her a little smile just for her, his eyes belying his feelings at the moment. She was loved and it gave her the power to ignore her brother and all the tension riding in the back seat. The fact that she was out and back with Logan was the most important thing to her now.   
  
So nothing Zack said or did was going to ruin this moment of happiness. Blocking out Zack to her left and Victor to her right, she focused on Logan. Smiling, she mouthed to him, 'I love you' to which he mouthed back to her. If they couldn't have the car to themselves, they were going to have to improvise and enjoy what they did have.   
  
Thoughts of their homecoming played around in her head. Once they were alone, what would happen? She had dreamed of all types of scenarios these past few months, but she could not predict how Logan would react to any slight change in her or how'd she react to any change in him. It was too much to ask to come home as if it was the day after she'd left in the first place. Things had changed, emotions had run the marathon in both of them.   
  
Even Bling had mentioned Logan having a tough time after her 'death,' and she knew he was only skimming the truth of what had happened. After he'd lost his legs a second time, she'd witnessed how he dealt with tragedy and change in his life. She could only guess how a death might affect him. She had at least known he was alive and well, since Manticore had enlisted her to find him. It was only briefly that she had wondered if he'd made it out of the forest, but her assignment reassured her of his safety.   
  
She pushed those thoughts aside though, since it was all in the past now. It was more fun to envision what was to come in a few hours. A smile crept onto her face as she remembered their last day together. Like Bling said, this was only the beginning and she was getting anxious to continue from where they had left off. She'd never had a boyfriend like Logan, and it was like a new adventure with new discoveries.   
  
Sure the baby was going to make things go a little differently, but at least she hadn't given into her heat with some other male. She mentally cringed at that thought. That would not have been pretty. And she and Logan would have still been dancing in the same circle as they had last year. With more guilt and baggage over their heads.   
  
Clearing her thoughts, she backed up and acknowledged that things were still going to be awkward and weird. Though they finally had climbed the wall and admitted feelings, one day together did not fix everything. However she did not fear Logan's reaction like she had a couple months ago when she'd broken down in front of Victor. Logan had already proved to her that he still loved her and she knew the baby would only intensify their love. They had created a child between them, and she was back safe.   
  
There was time to figure everything out, so she tried not to worry about that. Marriage was obviously something that might be discussed, but she didn't want to take things too quickly. The first thing she had to worry about, was how to tell him. 'Hey Logan, you knocked me up' didn't seem the best way. Or what about 'I think we need to redecorate, maybe pink or blue?' That meant talk of her moving in or wherever she was going to live and raise this child.   
  
'Logan, you missed the first four months of my pregnancy' was definitely out of the question too. She didn't want to point out something that he had no control over and something they could never get back. It still saddened her that he had not been there when she first found out, or when she had morning sickness. Max knew how caring he could be, and he would have been there the entire time, helping her through it. She'd also missed his cooking, and knew she was going to take advantage of it during the rest of her pregnancy.   
  
Sighing, she tried to sit back and relax, enjoying the scenery although it was quite honestly boring. It was not worth worrying and trying to figure out what would play out in a few hours.   
  
Logan couldn't help but smile at the sight of his angel in the back seat. He had the visor down to block the sun, and he could see her in the mirror. It was obvious she was deep in thought and he ached to know what she was thinking. He wanted to talk to her so bad. Though he had missed her in every sense, he had missed their endless conversations. They could talk about anything until the wee hours of the night, and he had grown to look forward to each night she came over.   
  
If only they were alone right now. If only Zack hadn't upset her. If only he could sit next to her, and hold her close. If only Manticore hadn't taken her.   
  
That's what it all boiled down to - Manticore. For four months he had mourned her and she had been alive. Four months that they should have been together, enjoying the fall of Manticore and their new found feelings. Manticore had once again taken it away from them.   
  
Yet he couldn't let himself dwell on it, because she had come back to him, and Manticore was going down again. He hoped it was final this time, so maybe they could live their lives without fear of them, though he didn't dare believe it was the end. Manticore would always haunt them. Even if it was just the seizures Max suffered from, Manticore would always be in their lives.   
  
He allowed himself another glance back at her and seeing her far off glaze, his heart melted. She had been through so much, he could tell. How would she be? She had come so far in the past year, finding ways to break through the tough exterior that she had come to rely on around everyone. Her heart had opened for him and she was ready to love. These past four months could have built those walls right back up again. Did she have enough strength to tear them down once again?   
  
Logan sure hoped so, but he was already encouraged since she seemed more open than she had ever during the past year.   
  
Max's eyes wandered from the window to Logan once again. She felt like crawling through the car to sit on Logan's lap. It was hard not to. She knew she had made it through the hard part - four months of waiting in Manticore. But now she was just a couple feet away from him. An arm's length away if they reached towards each other. In fact, every once in awhile, Logan would stretch his arm back and squeeze her hand. It was always welcomed.   
  
So now she just waited for the day to end, when she'd step out of the car and be in Seattle, far away from Manticore.  
  
  


*****

  
Max was snapped out of her boredom and never ending thoughts when the silence in the car was broken an hour later.   
  
"What's going on up there?" Bling spoke up, nodding to the scene ahead of them.   
  
All eyes turned to the sight down the road, Max and Zack zooming in close. It was a normal sector check point, but the cars were backed up which was unusual for the small border town at the state line of Wyoming.   
  
But to Max and Zack's eyes, they saw more. Max hesitated a moment then announced to Logan and the others, "Everyone's getting out of their cars."   
  
Logan was afraid to ask, but he voiced his concerns anyway, "Because of the police? What are they checking for?"   
  
Softly she replied, none too happy either, "I'm not sure."   
  
Silence enveloped the car as they slowly pulled up behind the last car in the line and waited as two sector cops walked towards them. Bling rolled down his window as one stepped up.   
  
"We need everyone to get out of the car now."   
  
Everyone looked at each other uneasily. Had Manticore sent out a warning? Logan had passed around sector passes and fake IDS, so they hoped nothing would happen, but if they knew to look for barcodes, they were dead.   
  
Bling questioned the cop before they could force them out. "What's going on?"   
  
"We're looking for escapees."   
  
  
  
_Whew... it's done. Please don't kill me!!_


	12. Checkpoint Escapade

Author's Note: Did you miss me??? Hehehe...No, I bet not...you just missed the story. Well you should be happy to know that I shipped off my last portfolio yesterday, school has calmed down...finals are soon, then SUMMER!! I have opened up the next chapter, but it's going slow...very slow. Two paragraphs slow. So enjoy this chapter!!  
  
Thanks go to my beta, Skye, and an apology for not waiting for her to return from Spring Break to beta the previous chapter.  
  
  
Chapter 12 _Checkpoint Escapade_  
  
"Escapees?" Bling echoed.   
  
Everyone was deathly silent as they waited for an explanation. This was hitting just too close for their taste, and they were effectively trapped in the car. They had since relaxed on the ride during the ride and thought that Manticore would not catch up with them. Now it looked like they had hoped for too much.   
  
"Yeah, there was a prison break early this morning. We're supposed to keep a lookout for them hopping the border. Though if I were them, I'd be hopping the border north," the cop explained and shrugged. He really didn't care; he was just doing what he was told.   
  
Max looked at Zack with a questioning glance. Did they fight or run? He shook his head. Instead he looked back at the cops and tried to determine what was really going on. The cop was holding a clipboard, and he waited for him to tilt it so he could see if there were pictures.   
  
The cop motioned them all out again, and Zack caught a glance, and indeed there were pictures of the 'escapees.'   
  
Not them.   
  
He nodded to Max, and she looked at the clipboard. A moment later she smiled and she tried to convey it to Logan and Victor as well. Everyone sighed in relief, but realized they still had to cooperate with the cops.   
  
Bling quickly looked back at Logan before stepping out of the car, and Logan weakly smiled. He was still stuck in the car until Bling came around with his chair.   
  
Victor, Max and Zack got out of the car as Bling walked around to the hatchback to get Logan's chair. Just as he was about to open the door, the first cop stopped him.   
  
"Hey, what do you think you're doing? Hands on the car, feet spread," the cop barked at him. Bling tried to protest, but the cop just shoved him against the car. He proceeded to pat him down, not allowing him to explain.   
  
Meanwhile, the second cop on Logan's side of the car had already opened the car door, yelling at him to get out.   
  
"I told you to get out now!" the cop yelled.   
  
"I can't," Logan calmly replied, trying not to provoke him too much. He had heard the commotion at the back of the car and knew Bling was having the same trouble.   
  
"I didn't ask you if you wanted to, I'm telling you to!"   
  
"I can't get out, I'm a paraplegic," once again Logan tried to explain, though it didn't appear to make much difference to the cop.   
  
"You know I don't care what you are! I don't care if you're a f***ing queer or not, I want you out of the car NOW!" The cop's face was quickly turning red; he had not expected so much trouble with such a simple search. In fact, they rarely had any activity at this checkpoint.   
  
With one swift movement, the cop tried to pull Logan out of the car by his arm. When Logan didn't come out easily as he'd planned, he pulled harder, dumping him on the ground. He bent down in anger, ready to beat some sense into him when he heard shouting.   
  
"Wait! He needs his chair!" Max yelled out, already boiling mad, ready to go hit the cop herself, but Zack had held her back when the cop had pulled Logan out of the car.   
  
Logan, having fallen on his shoulder and arm, looked up when he felt the cop stop in midair, his hand just inches away from his face. He could see Max a few feet away behind the cop, and knew it was Zack keeping her back. If not, she would have already shown him exactly what an X5 could do in anger. As the cop stood up to go yell in Max's face, he started to sit himself up. His legs had fallen less than gracefully and landed in a tangled heap on the broken pavement.   
  
He looked up and watched as Max started to argue with the cop and pointed to the back of the car where Bling was still trying to get his chair out. Zack stood ready to interfere if Max got out of hand. They did not need a fight with the sector cops right now. Victor appeared shell shocked, alternately glancing between Max, Bling and Logan. He caught Victor's eye and could see the surprise clearly etched in his face. It was obvious he had not expected to see him like this, not the great Eyes Only.   
  
Victor watched the scene playing out in front of his eyes in a daze. The past four months were blurring in his mind, and today was already a distant memory because of the speed that everything had happened. And now he stood frozen to one spot, his eyes riveted to the one man that had been such a mystery to him.   
  
Max's voice floated in his head as he recalled small comments she had made while they talked at Manticore.   
  
_"He's not invulnerable. He has been hurt trying to help people..."  
  
"It was never a matter that I was stronger than him or that-"  
  
"I was just his legs. He needed me for his work." _  
  
Logan, Eyes Only, the man before him now - was paralyzed. The enemy of so many powerful and corrupt people. And now he was defenseless against two very dumb sector cops.   
  
It suddenly made sense to him as he took in Max's comments. He had been hurt, and she was stronger than him, not only in the genetics department, but also in the sense that he couldn't walk. And one of her fears was that he looked at her as his legs, and not a friend.   
  
It was also clear why he had stayed in the car before, not coming to greet her. And why she had so fiercely protected him at Manticore. She didn't want one thing about him to slip out. Rightly so, he was more vulnerable than most and probably very easy to find if certain details such as medical status had been found.   
  
He just wished he'd been prepared.   
  
In the back, Bling was repeatedly trying to explain why had needed to open the hatchback.  
  
"Look, my friend can't walk. He needs his wheelchair. If you want him out of the car, you need to let me open the door and get his chair," he reasoned.   
  
"I don't care about your friend. I care that you're trying to remove something from the car before we search it. If you would just let us start the search, you can go on your way." The cop stood firm, his arms crossed as he glared at Bling.   
  
"Fine, will you at least open the door and see what I'm trying to show you?" Bling motioned to the door, trying any way to just _get_ the door open.   
  
Standing back, he waited to see if the cop would listen to this request, which he did, finally opening the door. Inside, plain to see, was Logan's chair.   
  
"What's that?" the cop asked.   
  
Bling tried to keep calm as he felt the need to strangle the man. "It's my friend's wheelchair. If you look up in the front, you'll see that he can't get out of the car without it."   
  
They both walked to the side of the car and saw Logan on the ground. Bling felt his blood boil. He hadn't been quick enough, and Logan was the one to get the brunt of the punishment. All because two sector cops couldn't recognize the necessity of a simple wheelchair.   
  
He looked back at the cop expectedly, and the cop waved him off. With a sigh, Bling was finally able to bring Logan's chair to him. Luckily Max had the second cop's attention during the process.   
  
Logan could feel Victor's eyes on him as he prepared to get in his chair. He situated himself at a 45 degree angle from the chair, crossed his legs Indian style, placed a hand in front of him and one on the chair and pushed himself up. Once seated, he uncrossed his legs and placed each foot on the footrest.   
  
"Are you hurt?" asked Bling, taking his hands and looking them over. Logan pulled them back, unlocking the brakes and turned the chair abruptly.   
  
"I'm fine," he snapped, irritated by the whole scene just over him, and made his way over to Max.   
  
Max was smiling big and proudly pointed to Logan, trying to prove her point to the stubborn cop. The cop in return turned around and saw Logan coming towards him. He shook his head and walked off in a huff to the back of the car where the first cop had already begun the search.   
  
"Hey, you alright?" Max asked gently, obviously concerned about the fall he took, but knew he didn't want to be pressured about it. Delicate male ego and all.   
  
Logan sighed, but replied softer this time with Max, knowing she didn't deserve to be yelled at, though neither did Bling, but there were times when Bling tried to take care of him too much. "I'm fine. I'll make sure of it later at home, but this isn't the time or the place to do it now." He looked back over his shoulder at the cops searching the car. "We have more pressing matters at hand."   
  
Zack took one look at Max and Logan and walked off, not wanting to witness the two of them together anymore.   
  
Victor looked sideways at Logan with a curiosity. Sure he knew he was the same person he had met a short while ago, but to suddenly see him in the chair was...weird. It really made no difference to him, but it was still so surprising. After all he had done in his work to help people, what did he do to deserve this?   
  
He found his fingers unconsciously rubbing the fabric of his pants and wondered what it was like. Truly, he couldn't imagine it, or the helplessness Logan must have felt as the cop had pulled him out of the car. His eyes wandered over Logan, taking in the chair and the stillness of his legs. It was unnerving to see them and know that he felt nothing and had no control over his legs.   
  
Logan looked up, and Victor quickly looked away, but then thought better of it and turned to return his focus to Logan.   
  
"I'm sorry," he said, then cleared his throat and clarified, "I mean, you worked so hard, and... I'm sorry."   
  
"The past is the past. I'm still working," Logan replied, an edge to his voice. He didn't want the pity. He got enough of it from his family and people on the streets. Earlier, Victor had only seen him as Eyes Only, and that made him feel proud of himself. It wasn't every day he got to tell someone who he was and have that person look up to him. Figuratively speaking, of course.   
  
But now he was looking down on him in pity. He wasn't Eyes Only, he was again the guy in the chair. How could the guy in the chair still work? How could he work as Eyes Only? Well he certainly wasn't showing off any gymnastic skills on his cable hacks, so what did it matter?   
  
"Oh, of course, I mean... I've seen your hacks... I'm just sorry," Victor corrected himself, stumbling over his words in embarrassment. He lifted his eyes and watched the cops slam a door shut, leaving the conversation hanging in the air, knowing there was no real way to politely end it.   
  
Logan turned his focus back to Max thankful to stop the pity before it got even worse. She draped her arms around his neck, and leaned down to talk to him privately. Her fingers danced across his shoulders, trying to loosen him up. He laughed at something she said and she smiled. This was the Logan she remembered.   
  
Zack walked back towards the group, having noticed the cops were almost done, and looked at Max in disgust. Turning to Logan, he asked, "Where are your legs? You're gonna need them."   
  
"Zack!" Max stood up straight and yelled at him.   
  
Turning sharply back to Max, Zack glared at her. "You may have escaped, and you may have stopped _Manticore_ for now," he hissed, "but you will never be rid of them. They're going to come after you, Maxie, and you know you can't run."   
  
Max held Zack's eyes in a lock. They both knew he was talking about Logan and the baby. But they also knew she would never leave.   
  
"Then I'll deal with it then. So just give it up, Zack, and don't even think about bringing Logan into this. It's my life and I chose to live it in Seattle," she replied in a deadly even voice.   
  
Zack shook his head and muttered to himself. No matter how hard he tried, he could never get through to her. And he just didn't know why. How could she attach herself to Logan? Why would she stay and endanger herself? Especially now that she was pregnant?   
  
Impatiently, he watched the cops finish searching the car. He wasn't looking forward to the drive back, but he just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Max was his sister, and he loved her, but there were times he couldn't be around her for fear that they would kill each other. And this was such a time.   
  
The cop who had harassed Logan walked up to the group, not looking too happy to address them again.   
  
"You're free to go."   
  
Everyone let out a sigh of relief, not that they had feared the cops would find anything, but that they could finally get on their way again. They knew they hadn't exactly been appreciated, and no one wanted to stay a moment longer.   
  
The cop briefly glanced at Logan, and when Logan caught him, he glared, clenching his fists on the push rims of his chair. He could handle stupidity in most people, but when it came to those who couldn't be nice in their own stupidity, it angered him. It was one thing to come across a corrupt official or inconsiderate sector cop, but one who didn't even have the decency to let one explain themselves or their disability - it made Logan wish he could go after them and not just the big guys.   
  
But he had to start at the top before he could work down the chain, if ever. And some people you just couldn't change.   
  
The cop quickly turned around and joined his buddy, walking back to the little building set up at the checkpoint.   
  
Logan held his hand out to Bling, announcing, "I'm driving."   
  
Bling saw the look on Logan's face and knew that this was one time to let Logan do his own thing. He handed over the keys, then followed Logan around to the driver's side. After he situated himself, Bling put the chair back in the car and traded a glance with Max. She nodded, understanding his thoughts immediately, and went to sit in the front seat next to Logan.   
  
She snaked a hand around his neck and gently massaged his shoulders. He glanced over and smiled. Her hand dropped and squeezed his. It was going to be okay, the search had just been a bump in the road, so to speak. Taking a quick look in the back seat to make sure everyone was ready, he let go of her hand and started the car. It was time to go home.   
  


*****

  
Max had never been so happy to see the dilapidated streets of Seattle. It was far from the clean halls that had been at Manticore, but it was a welcome sight. They had had no more problems after the search at the checkpoint, and the rest of the drive had been uneventful and most of the time, very quiet.   
  
She had tried to keep Logan calm during the ride, and his mind off the incident that she knew had really upset him. On the long stretches of the road, he had put on cruise control so he could hold Max's hand without endangering them. It kept him grounded, reminding him that the drive out had been worth it; that she was with him safe and sound.  
  
A couple hours later, she took over the driving; knowing that he still needed the physical contact between them. Of course the same could be said for her. A couple times during the monotonous drive, she found herself wondering if this was all a dream. A small squeeze of Logan's hand was all that was needed to reassure her that it was not. That it was indeed happening, and she was free.   
  
Once in Seattle, they dropped Victor at the airport. Although Max was very appreciative of Victor, she was glad to see him go. After all, he'd been her only company for four months. But she was also one person closer to time alone with Logan. She loved her family and friends, but it was time for Logan and her to work some things out. A few kisses and the touch of the hand was not enough for her, and certainly it wasn't going to solve all their problems.   
  
She wondered if Zack would leave immediately or want to spend the night before heading off to Canada. He had been silent the entire drive since their fight at the checkpoint. Every time he tried to take her to Canada, she wondered why he didn't give up asking, though sometimes it sounded more like an order. But she wasn't the soldier anymore, so she wasn't taking any orders. She had given up trying to explain her life to him, and accepted the fact that he just couldn't understand her need to have a normal life.  
  
Max knew Bling would leave probably as soon as they all got settled back at the apartment. He knew well enough that they wanted time alone. Since he had been pushing for their relationship the past year, he wouldn't want to get in their way. She almost laughed aloud remembering the morning after, when he'd come for Logan's physical therapy. It had been pretty obvious that he wasn't needed that morning and Logan's mind would certainly not be on the task at hand.   
  
Without much difficulty, Max navigated the streets of Seattle, a mental map of the city stored away in her head. They passed through checkpoints easily and suddenly she found herself pulling into the underground parking garage of Fogle Towers. She felt a wave of butterflies pass through her, but she knew it wasn't nerves. There was relief, excitement, and okay, just a tad bit of nerves. After all, she had to tell Logan that he was going to be a dad soon. It wasn't the easiest thing to come right out and say.   
  
After parking, everyone sat still in the car. It had been a long day, and it was kind of hard to believe that they were finally home. Home at least for three of the four people in the car. It was Zack who first opened a door and got out to stretch. Bling followed suit, and went to get Logan's chair. Logan leaned across the front seat, bringing a hand behind Max's neck, and gently kissed her.   
  
"Welcome home," he whispered. He rested his forehead on hers, and they sat there silent for a moment.   
  
"I'm scared," she replied in a small voice, as it threatened to break, and eyes about to tear.   
  
Logan looked up surprised, and caressed her cheek softly. "Hey, there's nothing to be scared about. We're home. You're safe. I'm here for you, please believe that."   
  
"I know, it's just... it's been so long, Logan. It was only a day. Things have changed, you can't deny that. I wish we could pick things up where we left off, but that's impossible." Max hiccupped, and she sat back against the seat, her eyes staring out the front windshield .   
  
"No, we can't pick up, but we will find our own way to continue. Max, we can't give up now. I'm not backing down, and I hope you won't either," he replied, anxiousness creeping in his voice as he stared at her. He picked up her hand, rubbed his thumb across it a few times then tenderly dropped a kiss.   
  
"I love you."   
  
He turned and opened his door where Bling was waiting with his chair. Glancing back, he caught a tear roll down her face slowly. Bling was silent as he transferred to his chair, and by the time he closed the car door, he heard Max open hers and step out.   
  
They all followed Logan to the elevator, and were quiet on the way up. Zack's jaw was tight, his eyes staring at the floor, never once looking at the people around him. Bling figured he'd go up and make sure everything was okay before leaving them alone for the night.   
  
When they all paraded inside the apartment, they heard Syl shriek.   
  
"Zack!"   
  
A blur raced across the penthouse and engulfed Zack in a hug. She looked up confused at him, and asked a jumble of questions.   
  
"What happened? Logan didn't mention you. Are you okay? Did they try to reprogram you?"   
  
"I'm fine. They tried, but it didn't work. Max didn't know I was alive. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be in Seattle," he answered a little cross.   
  
Syl stepped back hurt. "Hello to you too, big brother. And don't start the Seattle bit, I was helping a friend."   
  
She turned to Max and grinned, and hugged her tight. "I'm so glad to see you again, Max. Are you okay? What happened, I mean Logan said you died. When he called, I couldn't believe it."   
  
Logan led the group to the kitchen, to allow the two sisters to have some time.   
  
With the guys out of earshot, at least Logan and Bling, Syl bluntly asked, "Did they do this to you Maxie?"   
  
Max looked at Syl confused and bewildered. "Do what?"   
  
Syl laid a hand on Max's stomach. "This."   
  
Instinctively, Max's hand flew to her stomach, and she gasped. "No! I mean, no they didn't do this. It's Logan's. They wanted it though. I couldn't let them have it."   
  
"You better not have!! I don't want my niece or nephew in their hands. Congratulations, Max," Syl exclaimed, then hugged her again. "Does Logan know yet?"   
  
Max shook her head. "Not yet. I'm not sure how to tell him."   
  
Syl snapped back, pulled on Max's hand and dragged her to the kitchen. "Well then, we need to solve this."   
  
Protesting, Max tried to stop her, but Syl would have nothing of it.   
  
In the kitchen, Syl dropped Max's hand then walked to Krit, who was eating a sandwich at the bar. She plucked the sandwich from his hand and dropped it on the plate. She pulled Krit off the barstool and started pushing him out of the kitchen.   
  
"Hey!" Krit cried out. "I was eating."   
  
"It's time to leave. You can eat later. It was great seeing you again Logan. Max, I'll keep in touch. Come on Zack, you're coming with us."   
  
"But it was free food!! Besides, doesn't Zack need to eat something?" he protested, as she continued to pull him towards the front door.   
  
"We'll find some food later for you two. We need to go now. Max and Logan need some time alone," Syl answered, waving back to Max with a small grin on her face.   
  
Krit glanced at Max and waved. "Hey Max, I guess I'll see you some other time. Glad you made it out. I guess I have to go now. I don't seem to have much choice in the matter."   
  
"Nope, you don't."   
  
Zack followed them out of the apartment, and Bling looked between the door and Logan and Max.   
  
"I think I'll go now too. I'll see you two later. Bye Max, I'm glad you're home," he said, then left.   
  
Max and Logan stared at the door in utter confusion.   
  
"What just happened?" Logan asked.   
  



	13. If Only

Author's Note: Please don't faint on me...I know it's probably a shock to see me again, but I'm back. AND DONE! *dances about* You don't know how happy I am now that Elysium is complete. I can finally go on to write other ideas without the guilt of not finishing this story. I'm so sorry it's taken so long. It's been a hectic...year. EEK! I can't believe that it's been so long since I last posted! Please forgive me.  
  
Thanks for sticking around this entire time. Enjoy.  
  
TISSUE WARNING!! (I wouldn't be me if I didn't have angst!)  
  
  
Ch 13 _If Only..._  
  
Silence invaded the apartment. They both stared at the door then each other nervously. It shouldn't be like this again, they thought. One whole year had been wasted this way, and both were determined not to do it again.  
  
Logan looked up at Max, "So, um...are you hungry?"  
  
Max gave him a pointed look.  
  
"Oh right...stupid question," he smiled. "You're welcome to use the shower while I get something together. I mean if you want to...uh..." he stumbled over his words.  
  
"It's fine, Logan. I understand." She smiled back at him. Leaning over, she dropped a kiss on his cheek then turned towards his bedroom.  
  
The tension that hung in the air lessened and Logan sighed. They couldn't go back to how they were the last year, _they couldn't._ He had to relax. One moment she was the one scared, then the next he was nervous. Why couldn't they just meet and fall in love and date like a normal couple? In the beginning, she had been young and scared, and he'd been ashamed of the chair.  
  
But they instinctively knew it didn't matter to the other and they had fallen in love with in spite of it all. Too bad they were both stubborn people. Bling had known all along. So had Original Cindy. Too bad they had been blind and ignored their friends. If only they had listened...if only.  
  
He knew he couldn't do that to himself. 'If only's' were bad to think about. The past couldn't be changed and 'if only's' could only hurt the future. He'd been told too many times to count that he couldn't look back at his shooting and say 'if only...' So he couldn't say it now either.   
  
Logan looked towards the kitchen, knowing he needed to get started on dinner. He wanted to make this perfect for her. She was scared, and he didn't want her to run. They would get past this stage; he knew they would. They both knew they had wasted last year, so it was time to move forward.  
  
With that thought, he went to the kitchen and started another culinary masterpiece that would certainly beat any Manticore meal she'd had over the past four months.  
  
Max gratefully took the excuse to go take a shower. She needed some time to think to herself. She mentally laughed at that. For four months, all she did was think to herself, but suddenly now that they were alone in his apartment with nobody watching them - she was scared. As soon as she was in his spacious bathroom, she relaxed, taking in the familiar setting. It was good to be 'home.' Logan's place had become her home as much as the apartment she lived in with Original Cindy.  
  
Grabbing a towel from the closet, she hung it outside the shower then stood in front of the mirror, standing still for a moment. She looked over herself, noting the differences in her from four months ago. Her hair was longer; her eyes were a little sunken, tired and exhausted. She was thinner despite her pregnancy, and you couldn't even tell that. Slowly she pulled her clothes off, the baggy t-shirt that Logan had brought her, jeans, then her underwear. Standing naked, she traced a finger down her stomach, where there was only a slight pooch, not even enough to alert anyone that she was pregnant. Only she knew better. The t-shirt had hidden this fact, and she knew that Logan had no clue.  
  
As she stepped into the shower, it really shook her that Logan knew nothing. Sure it wasn't his fault, but it hurt. Today was like the day after and she shouldn't even know about the baby, but here it was four months later and she was only seeing him again for the first time since the takedown. Logically he should know by this time - if she were a normal girl. If they were a normal couple.  
  
She laughed out loud. They would never be normal, and she'd bet that Logan would say he didn't want her or them to be normal, but it still pained her. Most normal girls after they got pregnant would not have been taking down a secret military base then held hostage for four months while said military base forced you to hunt down your boyfriend and they monitored your baby.  
  
Yeah, not even close to being normal.  
  
In a girly kind a way, she wished she could have spent the first four months picking out baby names or 'oohing and ahhing' over a sonogram. She still hadn't seen one picture of her baby. Sure they checked her often, but they never let her see the screen. She didn't even know if it was a girl or boy. The doctors had always said 'it' when referring to her baby.  
  
She could just picture it now, teaching a little girl to kick ass. Like mother, like daughter. Of course a little boy would be cool too. But it just took the fun out of wearing that t-shirt, 'Girls kick ass.' Original Cindy would have to teach all the girl stuff, since she still wasn't familiar with all of it yet. The whole nail polish thing was still a mystery to her. It chipped too damn easily. Logan would be good with a boy though. Heck, he'd be a great father, period. To a boy or girl. This kid was going to be spoiled - she knew it already.  
  
Turning on the water, she reveled in the hot water running down her. Sure, Manticore had hot water, but the feeling of freedom, knowing that she wasn't timed or that she didn't have to step out and put on a uniform was a blessing. Besides, it was Logan's shower, and the scent of him overpowered her senses. As the water pounded on her back, she closed her eyes unable to stop the memories that flashed through her mind.  
  
_"Lay down," the doctor ordered briskly.  
  
She did as ordered, lying down on the table, letting him pull up her shirt to reveal her stomach. If she were anywhere else but here, she would have punched the guy's lights out, but she knew it would get her nowhere. She tried to imagine the doctor's hands were Logan's, but the cold, gloved hands were nothing like the warm gentle hands that had touched her in such a loving manner that one night.  
  
A cold gel was squirted on her stomach and the two doctors nodded to each other pointing at the screen, saying only a few words here and there. Nothing that would give her any indication about anything concerning her baby. She wanted to cry as she realized Logan should be here, witnessing this first sonogram.  
  
She craned her neck, but they only moved the screen closer to them. There was nothing to reflect off it, so she just closed her eyes in frustration. One day she would see her baby. One day she would escape and they would no longer have their precious lab rat. It was her baby. Logan's baby. And it wouldn't just be the sonogram that he would see._  
  
Max opened her eyes suddenly, tears mixing with the water running down her cheeks. With shaky legs, she sat down on the shower chair. The water cascaded down her, but she felt nothing as the tears flowed, her chest heaving as she sobbed. Why her? They had taken these four months from her, from Logan. They had taken her life as if it was nothing, not even caring that she was a human being. They didn't care that the baby had a father. They didn't care that she was the mother. She may have escaped, but she would never get that time back. It was gone.  
  
And there would always be the memories, the nightmares of that time. It should have been a happy time, a time where she and Logan could have been together, celebrated this miracle, and she knew they still would, but there would always be the regrets.  
  
She still had the problem of telling him. How to tell him? It just wasn't fair. Her whole life wasn't fair. Logan was the only part of it that made sense, and even now she had to hurt him. All because of who she was, and where she'd been created. It wasn't fair to him either.  
  
It hadn't been her choice, but why did it hurt so much to tell him what he'd missed?  
  
It wasn't a lie, but it felt like one. It was pressing down on her, slowly taking all breath away from her. The water was drowning her...the tears kept coming...she couldn't breathe...  
  
_Logan, I'm so sorry..._  
  
The sauce was just coming to a boil, and the pasta was in the sink sitting in the colander. Dinner was almost ready. Logan smiled to himself. It'd been so long since he'd made pasta tricolore. He hadn't dared make it the past four months. Too many bad memories, so he didn't go there. But not anymore. His angel was back.  
  
And she hadn't come out yet. In fact, he could still hear the shower running. Moving the sauce to a back burner, he went to go check on her. Opening the bathroom door, steam poured out. His glasses fogged up and he had to wipe them on his shirt. A soft whimpering noise was coming from the shower, and as he moved closer he could hear her mumbling.  
  
_"It's not fair...he should know...four months...Logan...so sorry...they took it away from us, all the time...I wanted to come home..."_  
  
Pulling aside the curtain, he moved in the shower. She was sobbing, gasping for breath, each mumble a struggle as she sat in the shower with the water pouring all around her, though she did not notice. Her hand rested on her stomach, rubbing it ever so slightly.  
  
_"...I wanted to tell you...it's yours, ours..."_  
  
He stared in shock at her stomach as her words hit him. Quickly he moved to turn off the water, drenching himself in the process, but he didn't care. She looked up at him with big eyes - scared, sad, alone.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Logan. So sorry..." she whispered.  
  
Logan pulled her onto his lap, and she instinctively tucked her head on his shoulder. He kissed her head, wrapping his arms around her.  
  
"Shh...it'll be okay. I'm here...I'm here..." he murmured in her ear. Carefully he leaned back and grabbed the towel she'd set out and wrapped her tightly. He felt tears trickle down his cheeks as he watched her cry on his shoulder. She'd held it in for four months and only now was she letting it all go.  
  
He was going to be a father.  
  
All these months he had mourned her death, but in fact he...they were bringing new life to the world. As surprised as he was by her reappearance, he was shocked by this news. He'd put aside thoughts of a family a long time ago after Valerie, and especially after the shooting. He never allowed himself to think about it with Max. For a year he couldn't even acknowledge his love, how could he have thought he wanted a family with her? One night of love then four months of pain never let him think about it either.  
  
It was still hard to grasp now, even seeing Max before him. But he'd seen it. Under her hand, she'd been rubbing her stomach, ever so slightly expanded. With his child. It was a wondrous feeling, the proud knowledge that he had created something with his love. Although it was four months after the fact, he loved it just the same. His heart broke knowing the pain Max had gone through and still felt over the time he'd missed. Yet he couldn't get mad, he still had months to go. He had years ahead of him too.  
  
He learned that it was too easy to be angry, to curse Manticore and all it had done to wreck their lives. It was harder to forgive. But it made them stronger. It made them better people. Manticore had given her to him. If it weren't for them, Max wouldn't be his to love, to create a family with. So they had to go on with their lives, they had to look ahead, not to the past where all the pain was, but to where the joy lay in the future.  
  
And his joy was sitting in his lap. His joy was growing in her belly. Their joy was just starting. Again.  
  
They sat there for what seemed like hours, holding on to each other, crying, until Logan noticed her shiver. Backing out of the shower, he led them to his bed. Pulling back the sheets, he gently unwrapped her from the towel and laid her down on the bed. She uncurled herself and moved over for him to transfer.  
  
Sitting on the bed, he pulled off his shoes then laid down next to her. She spooned against his body for a few minutes as her tears subsided, then turned over and started to pull off his wet shirt. Once the offending item was off, she threw it on the floor and lowered her hands back to his pants. His hand caught hers and she looked up in his eyes with a questioning gaze. He leaned in and softly kissed her forehead.  
  
Propping himself up, he hooked his thumbs in his pants and slowly pulled them off, then his underwear and socks. Throwing them on the floor as well, he moved closer to Max. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her tight against his chest. His fingers came up to brush away her hair, and he showered her cheek with kisses, then down her neck and shoulder. Briefly coming back up, he whispered in her ear, "I love you, Max. You couldn't have given me a greater gift. No matter when you came back."  
  
Max sniffled, a few stray tears running down her already reddened cheeks. She rolled over and cupped his head in her hands, letting her fingers run through his short hair. Looking him straight in the eye, she whispered back, "I love you too, Logan. Thank you." Her hands dropped as she leaned down on his chest. She lightly traced patterns across his skin, her fingertips dancing, sending shivers up his spine.   
  
She moved down his shoulder, following an imaginary trail on his arm. Suddenly stopping, she gently touched a red, tender patch of skin just below his elbow. "You're hurt," she said. "We should do something about it."  
  
Logan looked down to where she pointed, and flexed his arm a little. He shrugged. "It doesn't hurt any. Don't worry about it."  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked, still concerned.  
  
"Yes," he replied, smiling, and tucking a stray hair behind her ear that had fallen in her face.  
  
Max leaned down and kissed the red patch of skin, hair falling down around her face and tickling him. Looking up at him, her eyes were bright. "Well, we must make sure you aren't hurt anywhere else too." Slowly she made her way down his body, caressing and kissing as she went, thoroughly checking him out. She started with his other arm, then once again down his chest, and lower abdomen, past where she knew he could feel, but she could feel his eyes following her and she finished her 'search' down at his toes.  
  
Sliding back up to him, she snuggled in his arms. She sighed with a look of content on her face. "I could stay here forever."  
  
"What, no dinner?" he teased her.  
  
"As long as dinner doesn't burn, I'm not leaving," she tossed right back at him, turning slightly to grin at him.  
  
"Max, love, I'm never letting you out of my sight," he started to say, but stopped when he saw her freeze. "What's wrong?"  
  
"You've never called me that...no one's ever called me that," she stammered.  
  
"Love?"  
  
"It's always been foreign to me...until now," she said, smiling shyly.  
  
"You don't have to be afraid," he whispered, not wanting to scare her, not wanting her to run away like she had in the beginning. He softly, slowly, rubbed her shoulders, making circles up towards the back of her neck. She moaned, rolling her neck and head at the soothing motion of his fingers.  
  
Pausing to look at him, her eyes burning with what could only be described as pure love, she replied in a quiet, yet serious tone, "I'm not afraid.   
  
"But I am tired," she added.  
  
Logan looked at her feigning shock. "You, tired? Are you sick?" Teasingly, he felt her forehead.  
  
Max laughed, swatting at him. "No, I'm just a girl who's escaped from a military compound and is four months pregnant. I think I'm allowed a little bit of rest."  
  
Logan kissed her forehead, hugging her tightly. "You're allowed more than a little bit. Just go to sleep. I'll stay right here with you."  
  
With a sigh, Max whispered before her eyes fell shut, "I love you, Logan."  
  
"I love you too, Max," Logan echoed. He looked down at her face, his heart melting at the sight of his angel in his arms again. No longer would the nightmares haunt him of the last time he had held her in his arms. She looked so peaceful now, cocooned against him, her eyes closed and tendrils of hair framing her face. It was probably her first night that she could sleep with no worry, with no fear of being caught the next day.  
  
Carefully, he pulled up the sheets over them, and fell asleep, breathing in the scent of the one person he loved.  
  


*****

  
Max woke up abruptly to the sound of glass breaking. She looked over immediately and saw Logan sleeping soundly. Pushing back the sheets, she silently got out of bed and went to pull on Logan's shirt lying on the floor. Creeping out to the hallway, she stayed in the shadows, listening for any sound in the penthouse. There were footsteps all around the apartment.  
  
And she knew without a doubt what that meant. Her heart constricted tight as she made her way back to Logan, fear taking over her as she thought about him unaware in bed. They wanted her, not him. He would mean nothing to them, even if they did know he was Eyes Only. He would be a casualty of war in their eyes. As long as they got her, they wouldn't care about anyone else there. Witnesses were killed, eliminated.  
  
Gently she shook him awake but kept a hand over his mouth so as to keep him silent. His body was still as it registered the hand covering his mouth. He didn't notice it was her till his eyes opened and his mind cleared up enough to put two and two together. He blinked rapidly, already worried at the sight of her stance and the fear in her eyes.  
  
She removed her hand, then bent down and picked up his pants, handing them to him. As quick as he could, he put them on, struggling not to make any noise as he realized that whatever was happening, it was unlikely that they would make it out safely. Max went into the bathroom and came back out wearing her fatigues. She tossed him his shirt. He pulled it on, and looked at her with a questioning glance.  
  
Her face didn't reassure him. She made a motion with her hands, mimicking a gun. He nodded and pointed to his nightstand. Scooting down the bed, he quietly opened it and retrieved the gun. Max sighed, obviously pleased that he would have something to protect him, though she knew in all reality that it would be useless against the number of troops that were in the next room. She stood still, listening to see what was going on in the other rooms. They were being quiet, but she could still hear them. But it was as if they were waiting on something.  
  
Or someone.  
  
She knew what it was going to come down to. There was no way out. The only way to keep Logan safe was to go out there, and hope they wouldn't come to find him. She crossed the distance between where she stood and the bed where Logan sat. Leaning over, she kissed him softly and then with tears in her eyes, she walked out of the room. She forced herself not to look back, knowing that Logan's face would kill her and any reserve she had in her to do this.  
  
In the living room, she froze when she saw Brin standing in front of the troops. Max was shocked to see her. Krit and Syl had confirmed the explosion and that everyone had been inside. What had happened?  
  
After all they had dealt with the past year, all Max wanted was some peace. Why wasn't she allowed that? It looked like her life would never be hers to have. She and Logan would never have a chance. And she would never be a mother to her child. She knew there was no way she could fight Brin and the troops. But even as she tried to keep up a front, she knew she would end up at Manticore again.  
  
They stood at a standstill until Brin spoke up, "You can't get rid of Manticore that easily, 452. I don't know how you contacted him, but it didn't work. I'm still here, and it's time for you to go back home."  
  
"There's no chance in Hell that I'm going back there!" Max spat.   
  
"Oh really? Even if I shot him?" She looked over Max's shoulder, pointing a gun.  
  
Max looked back in horror, seeing Logan there. "What are you doing?" she hissed.  
  
"I lost you four months ago, I'm not losing you again," he replied, his voice deadly serious.  
  
"452 belongs to Manticore," Brin stated, eyes drifting back to Max. "And her child too."  
  
"Don't you dare touch either of them!" Logan yelled, rage building up in him. With one quick move, he pulled out the gun he'd hidden under his legs and shot at Brin.  
  
But he wasn't quick enough. Brin had sidestepped and the bullet lodged itself in the far wall. Every gun now was trained on Logan. She walked up to him slowly, daring him to try again.  
  
"That was not a smart move. There was no way for you to win," she said calmly, then brought up her gun and shot him point blank in the chest.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!" Max screamed. She raced over Logan's side, crying as she held him in her arms. "No...Logan, Logan? I love you, I love you..." she mumbled.  
  
"I...love...you...too...take care of our baby," he whispered slowly, his voice raspy and barely loud enough for her to hear him. His eyes rolled back, and closed as he took his last breath.  
  
"Logan!! No...you can't leave me now. I need you...please, oh God...Logan, I love you..." Max rambled, as she held him tightly to her chest, kissing his forehead.  
  
"Love is a weakness, 452," Brin said, standing above her.  
  
Letting go of Logan, she stood up and slapped Brin in the face. "Like you've ever experienced it. Why couldn't you have just left me alone? Am I worth that much to Manticore? If they wanted a kid, they could have just used you! I have a life, a life you'll never know. You had it once, but you begged us to save you, to give you back to Manticore. Was it worth the price to live?"  
  
"This is no life, 452. You were meant to be a soldier. You were meant to be at Manticore." Brin motioned to some of the men in the room. They went to surround Max.  
  
It was the end, she knew it. As much as she wanted to live, for Logan, for her baby, she knew it was the end. There would be no more Manticore for her. And certainly not for her unborn child. One last tear trickled down her cheek as she stared at Brin and the troops, then around the room. Taking one last look at her real home, she made her decision.  
  
And she ran.  
  
It was almost déjà vu as she broke through the glass window and dove outside, but she knew this time there would be no happy ending. There would be no Prince Charming watching her as she fell, amazed and entranced, wanting to know who this dark angel was.  
  
As she fell through the air, the truth hit her hard and she cried. Mentally she counted down, waiting to see Logan again, _5...4...3...2...  
  
...1._  
  



	14. Forever

Author's Note: Well I must admit that the previous chapter did not go as I planned. Judging from your reviews...and lack of them, I might add, that none were too happy with my faux ending. Except for maybe Evil Cat. She still wants to see Original Cindy find a big SPLAT on the ground. (NOT HAPPENING!)  
  
I need to explain my actions. Last summer I wrote this chapter and had no idea if I would finish the story. A friend suggested I leave it here, but I knew that everyone, including me would appreciate a happy ending. I had even written a semi-happy ending to chapter 13 with Max and Logan going on to happy ever after in death. Evil Cat in Cat's shoes nixed it. I apologize.   
  
So I realized that when I did post chapter 13, that I couldn't leave you hanging. I intended to write this chapter and an epilogue to tie things up and post shortly after the evil ending. But life got a little hectic with a cross-country move and a new intensive animation major. (Which by the way, isn't working out for me, so it's a good thing I finished this story before I start who knows where move and change in schooling yet again.) I had hoped that chapter 13 would grab your attention (and a few reviews, mind you!) and let you know I was back in town with Elysium again.  
  
I'm still deciding whether or not to continue writing Dark Angel fiction, or at least posting here on FF.net. The atmosphere has changed a lot in the year that I have been missing in action on Elysium. It greatly disappoints me that there are some people who feel that they must be rude when they find something they do not like. I'd like to quote from the movie _Bambi_, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." (Not sure of the exact wording, but you get my gist!) I would like to think that readers here could have some respect for authors and stories that they do not agree with. We all have our own tastes, and I don't deny that. Feel free to leave criticism, but be polite and let it be something for the author to learn from. My prof just told me last week not to look at a crit as something personal, but something to learn from. So that doesn't mean we say 'I don't like it' just because, but we explain technical things that are wrong and need help.  
  
Okay, I'm going to get off my soapbox and thank Cat for her help and contribution to this chapter. She more than made up for Evil Cat's actions in the previous chapter. For those who know me, you probably know I shy away from writing what happens at the end of this chapter. My beta was outright shocked when she read this, and quite proud, mind you, until I told her that Cat wrote it. It was either she write it, or I would have floundered around for a few more months trying to get the courage. Hope you like the outcome.  
  
And just for those you have skimmed this extremely long author's note - I'm SORRY and EPILOGUE to follow shortly, whenever it comes back from my beta. Onwards!  
  
  
Ch 14 _Forever_  
  
"Max!! Max!!" Logan screamed, trying desperately to wake her up. She was shaking violently, and he feared a seizure. He was about to go get some tryptophan he had kept for no reason the past few months. Nothing of hers had been tossed out, a silent fear of his that he would forget her.  
  
The only thing keeping him from getting the medicine was that he didn't want to leave her side. He was not going to come back to find her gone. He couldn't. Not now. Not after all that had happened.  
  
A disturbing thought crossed his mind and he tried to push it away. What if they had done something to her? What if any prolonged time would trigger something in her body when away from Manticore?  
  
"Please, please, come back to me," he whispered. His arms tried to control her shaking, but the tremors didn't stop.  
  
With a kiss to her forehead, he moved towards the edge of the bed and his chair. He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want to lose her either. As he turned to leave the room, he heard her.  
  
Half sobbing, half mumbling incoherently like she had in the shower, she was repeating one word over and over.  
  
"Logan."  
  
In a heartbeat, he was back in bed next to her. Brushing aside her hair, he held her, calling to her once again. Her tremors calmed, and instinctively she hugged her body even closer to him. Resting her head on his chest, he kissed her and squeezed her tight. He was never leaving her again.  
  
Never.  
  
They laid there together, cocooned up against each other for a couple hours before Max stirred. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly to adjust her eyes to the darkness that surrounded her. It was still early morning, and barely any light peeked through the curtains. Logan was asleep next to her.  
  
She did a double take.  
  
Logan was asleep _next to her_. It had been a dream. No, she corrected herself - a nightmare. Would she ever be able to sleep without worry? She hoped so - she deserved a normal life now. With her family. A small grin curled up the sides of her lips as she trailed a finger down the side of his face. He was hers. And she was home.  
  
The light touch of her finger was enough to wake Logan, ever sensitive to her as he had kept a watch over her last night. His eyes opened slowly, and he smiled at the sight of Max in his arms, staring back at him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey," she replied, smiling. She settled herself back against his chest, snuggling very close to him, trying to rid herself of the traces of the nightmare. She was not going to let it ruin this moment, or her life for that matter.  
  
"I was scared last night - I thought I almost lost you," he whispered, his breath on her neck, tickling her. Max's body tensed in his arms.  
  
"What do you mean?" She asked, afraid that they had shared another dream.  
  
Calmly, he let his fingers caress her arms, softly going down her arm and playing with her fingers. "You were shaking, and I couldn't wake you up. I thought it was a seizure, then it stopped," he replied, the scene from last night playing in his mind.  
  
"It was a nightmare," she whispered. "They fixed my seizures."  
  
Abruptly, he turned her to face him. "What happened?" Logan felt her tense once again in his arms, and he pulled her close, wanting to rid her of the demons that pained her.  
  
"I...You..." she couldn't begin. She looked up in his eyes, and saw tears mirroring her own. "Manticore...I lost you."  
  
"You are never going to lose me. I won't let it happen," he boldly declared.  
  
"But-" Max's protest was lost when he suddenly put a finger to her lips.  
  
Logan's blue eyes bore into hers. His tears made them appear glassy and sad, though he was anything but that. "No 'buts', I'm not allowing it. We're going to forget it ever happened." He smiled at her, then lowered his head slowly until he gently took in her lips, taking them as his prisoner. Sucking softly, he savored the taste of her full lips that he had dreamt about for the past few months. It was when he got no response, that he pulled back and looked at her questioningly.  
  
Her eyes were frozen with fear. She was coiled so tight, she looked like a little girl hidden underneath all the blankets. He rubbed his thumb from the back of her ears, down her neck, trying to ease the tension.  
  
"Max?" he asked softly, the unspoken question hanging in the air. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears spilling down her cheeks.  
  
"I don't want to lose you. They could come, we'll never know...All I ever wanted was to be left alone. But I'll always be hiding...running. I don't want that for our baby, for us. I just want to be normal," she whispered in a small scared, voice.  
  
"We will never know. That's the point. But we can't let it ruin our lives. You did the best you could, and Manticore may never find us again, and that's all we can hope for. Our baby doesn't have to grow up in fear, but in love," he replied, still caressing the back of her neck.  
  
"Besides, who ever said normal was the way to be?" he teased her with a smile on his face.  
  
That earned a smile from Max, and she asked, "What about quasi-normal?"  
  
Logan scrunched his face, and looked at her, taking in every inch of her face. He shook his head. "Nope. I like unique...different...extraordinary...and gorgeous." He punctuated each word with a kiss.  
  
"I think I could go for that." She grinned.  
  
"You do?" he mocked her.  
  
"Yeah..." she flipped over to lay on his stomach. She let her fingers wander up and down his arm, eliciting a shiver from him.  
  
"Good, because I'm not normal either," he answered in all honesty. Though he didn't allow his mind to go down that train of thoughts.  
  
"Right, you're caring...compassionate...and very very sexy," she smiled, kissing him back.  
  
"The same could be said about you too," he commented, drawn in by the fire he saw in her eyes. Sometimes he wondered how he found her...why he deserved her...  
  
"Then we must be a match." She answered his thoughts. There was no reason why they were together...they just were, and there was nothing to separate them.  
  
"I guess so..." he looked into her eyes with a growing feeling of love. "My angel..." he whispered, holding her.  
  
Their lips met again, softly yet passionately. Logan thought that he could spend a lifetime kissing Max and it would still never be enough. The reasons that he had once had for denying himself this bliss for a whole year now seemed so trite in comparison to the happiness that he had found. Their kiss warmed, becoming more intimate and he couldn't stop from letting his fingers trail down Max's skin. So beautiful. So incredibly beautiful and vulnerable. She always tried to hide that side of herself with others, but she had let him see it from early on.  
  
"Logan," Max moaned as his fingers reached more sensitive areas of her body. He paused in his explorations. Deep brown eyes met dark blue ones as Logan hesitated, not wanting to push her. She was going to drive him crazy, but he wasn't going to push her on this. Then she gave him her best devil-may-care smile. "I didn't say stop, silly. Must have been a while or something if you can't tell that means keep going."  
  
Neither of them could hold back the laughter. Yeah, it had been a while. Logan pulled Max down to him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she lay on top of him, teasing his mouth with playful little kisses. Logan began caressing her gently, hands roaming down the silken skin of her back to her rear, making her moan softly against his mouth.  
  
They parted and both of them could see the desire now. "I love you, Logan," Max whispered.  
  
"I love you too, Max," he whispered back, not wanting to break the spell around them. He moved slightly so that they were both on their sides. His eyes swept down Max's body. Her pregnancy had added a bit more lushness to her figure, added swell of breasts and a curve to her stomach that hadn't been there the first time that they had made love. But she was still the most beautiful woman that he had ever laid eyes on. And if he didn't get his hands on her, he was going to go insane with the wanting.  
  
Max felt a little embarrassed under his intense gaze, but the love and desire in his eyes made it seem so natural to be like this with him. She let herself admire him as much as he was enjoying seeing her. His arms and chest were wide and thanks to the chair, extremely well-defined. His whole body was long and lean. The intense physical therapy he put himself through had kept his legs from looking atrophied or shriveled. In short, if she had seen a better-looking man in her life, she certainly couldn't remember it.  
  
They both reached for each other at the same moment, hands and lips starting to run all over each other. They had become so familiar with each other in that one night of magic that they had, and now the sensations, feeling both old and new at the same time rushed over them. Logan was delighted in how much more sensitive Max's breasts had become. He could have spent hours worshipping just that part of her body.  
  
The sheer sweetness of his touch was almost too much for Max to take. Always before when she was with a man it was more or less him taking what he wanted from her. Usually while she was in heat and didn't care that he was using her. But this...this was so gentle and delicate and every kiss and caress echoed Logan's declarations of love.  
  
"Max, angel, what's wrong?" Logan asked urgently. Max's eyes opened, and she could see the concern. He touched her face and now she could feel the tears on her cheeks.  
  
"Nothing," she replied. "It's so perfect. Logan...it's just so perfect." Relief washed over his features. The last thing he wanted in the world was to hurt her. She smiled at him. "I had forgotten how wonderful it was," she finally explained. "Logan, I love you so much. I just want to be with you forever."  
  
"You've got me forever," he said softly.  
  
Max kissed him again, pressing him gently on his back. For all that Logan had anguished over his disabilities, he had to admit that being with Max made him feel more like a man than he ever did when he could walk. Her leg flipped across his body so that she was straddling him and then they were making love with such slow passion that it felt almost more like a dream than real. Nothing this incredible could be on earth. This was of the stars and heavens.  
  
Soft cries of passion filled the room. Declarations of love and tenderness. Even as the intensity increased, their lovemaking never lost that ethereal quality that made it seem like they were alone in the universe, nothing that could get to them ever. The passion peaked for them both, taking them to a level that neither of them had ever suspected even existed before. And then Max was lying on Logan's chest, both of them barely able to breathe.  
  
"My angel," Logan murmured. He touched Max's faintly rounded belly. "Both of my angels."  
  
Max could only smile as her eyes closed. And this time, the dreams would only be sweet.  
  



	15. Epilogue

**Please bear with me and this long author's note again, but I want to address everything on this final post.**  
  
Author's Note: *sniff* It's the end. For real. 138 pages and 21 months later, Elysium is complete. I'm saddened but also very excited. This was my first HUGE project that I actually got off and running beyond a chapter or two. So I am very proud of myself for having finished it too!   
  
I want to thank EVERYONE who has reviewed and waited, some patiently, some not so patiently, as I worked on Elysium the past year. Your reviews helped pushed me to keep going, and the past few months I was anxiously waiting this point where I could post the epilogue with all the good shippy fun! I know some of you have remarked how many M/L authors write angst, and I admit I write a ton of angst. But it seems to be my thing. I still try to insert some fluff, but after trying to write the past two chapters for almost 6 months or longer, I've realized that I just can't seem to write it easily!  
  
Also, I want to thank everyone for their support and I think waking up to a slew of reviews the day after I posted the last chapter has persuaded me to keep posting here. I guess it reminded me how much a review junkie I am and there's still a part of me that wants to keep writing and posting. Especially when I have a ton of ideas in my head and on my computer that I have started over the year, but put on hold for Elysium.  
  
Tons of thanks to all those who helped with Elysium. Aster and Skye, my betas, this would not have been a success without you! I bow down before thee and thank you for correcting my awful AWFUL grammar. Don't ask me how I managed to get A's in English all throughout school. It's obvious I never learned the proper art of the comma, since I'm so comma happy.  
  
To Nikky - pure inspiration and friendship throughout the past year. I look back and wonder what would the first half of Elysium have been like if I had known you then? Thanks for all your technical help and beyond. Words can't describe my thanks.  
  
To Cat - Thanks for your quick beta work that one time a year ago. Sure, Skye almost killed me for using you while she was gone, but hey! Thanks for your help throughout the story, for listening to ideas, giving ideas, and oh yeah...the SML you wrote in ch 14. *grin*  
  
To all of my friends who have helped me the past two years, and have supported me the entire time - THANKS!  
  
Disclaimer: The song, _Dream a Dream (Elysium)_, sung by Charlotte Church and Billy Gilman obviously is not mine! As are the rights to Dark Angel. *pouts*  
  
Oh, and just a note - I changed the rating to R for the last chapter and it still applies here because of a few terms. Technically they're medical in context...you'll understand when you read.  
  
  
**Epilogue**  
  
He watched as his skin turned red then purple then a pale shade of blue and sighed when it turned back to normal. Wincing as he shook his hand to regain feeling and tested his fingers to see if they were still intact, he glanced up at Max whose breathing had slowed down now that the contraction was over.  
  
"You okay?" he asked tentatively. The last time he had asked she almost bit his head off yelling in return 'would he be okay if he was passing a turkey through his nostril?'  
  
"For now," she replied this time, still breathing in and out slowly as the pain of the last contraction melted away for the time being.  
  
"For the sake of my sanity as well as for you two, I think it might be the plan to take *precautions* next time missy here is.... well.... hot... you know?... Still can't wrap my head around all what's happenin'... I mean my boo was always so worried about having little Maxies before all this came about," OC commented bluntly.  
  
She had been watching the two of them for the past couple hours and she just hoped they would both come out alive after this was done - or at least intact. Poor Logan - he probably wouldn't be able to wheel himself out, or even sign his name to the hospital bill. But of course it was a way different story for Max who had ignored everyone's warnings about the pain of childbirth, brushing it off saying she could handle it. At least she had given in to Lamaze classes with Logan a month before her due date.   
  
Now she was yelling and screaming, squeezing Logan's hand to extinction and threatening to kill him. After begging for drugs of course. She hadn't yet reached the point where they would give her the epidural, and it was a painful time for all waiting for it.  
  
Max glared at Original Cindy and retorted, "Well someone told me to go profess my love and have sex!"  
  
"I didn't mean for you to be stupid! I didn't think Heat would make you that crazy! Besides, it's a two-way street," she turned to look at Logan. "What were you thinking? 'Oh yay! I get to bone my girl?' You don't have whacked out genes to blame, and obviously Mr. Intelligent would have made better decisions if he hadn't let the independent thoughts coming from between his legs take control of his entire body."  
  
Logan's face turned red, and he glanced back to Max who waited for his answer too. "I...I didn't think I could have kids."  
  
"Oh yeah, real good excuse Rollerboy," Original Cindy answered dryly then abruptly paused and looked at him curiously.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
He looked at Max scared, seeing her face mirror his own once it sunk in. She was silent for a few moments then all hell broke lose.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS? I'M ABOUT TO SQUEEZE A FREAKING BABY OUT OF ME AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS? THEN WHOSE KID IS THIS?!!"  
  
"Max..." he pleaded.  
  
"Oh don't you 'Max me!' You better start explaining before my mind wanders where it shouldn't," she interrupted him, her eyes flaming.  
  
"Max, paralysis doesn't just affect my legs. I mean you probably noticed a difference when we..." he trailed off not wanting to admit his faults. For months he had been scared of that first night, and most certainly he hadn't wanted to disappoint her.  
  
"I don't believe it," she whispered. "Manticore. I should have known. It was too good to be true. Renfro told me and I was too excited and scared at the same time that I wouldn't allow myself to believe it wasn't yours."  
  
"No, Max, don't think that."  
  
"Well what do you want me to think? That the mailman did it? Or how about the milkman?" she started laughing hysterically. "We don't even have them." The laughter turned to sobbing as she whispered in a deadly calm voice, "Manticore will always haunt me. I'll never be rid of it."  
  
"Max, that isn't true," Logan tried to soothe her, brushing back hair clinging to her forehead.  
  
"Then tell me that Manticore didn't give me this baby," she replied, her voice wavering as the toll of the day and the past hour set in. Her eyes closed, and a trail of tears made their way down her cheek.  
  
Logan leaned forward and wiped them away and whispered. "They didn't."  
  
Max's eyes opened hesitantly and bore into his, asking, hoping to hear some good news.  
  
"I had tests done after you came back. You don't need to worry," he calmly responded, his eyes never leaving her face. He had hoped this conversation could have been avoided, and she would never question his part in the matter.  
  
"Tests? Doesn't that require me and the baby?" she asked him, still not believing his apparent good news.  
  
He hung his head for a moment, and rubbed his eyes in frustration. Taking a deep breath, he looked back up at her and shook his head. "Not a paternity test. You see, Max, only a small percentage of paraplegics can have an erection or even ejaculate. And whether the sperm is good, well that's another matter. I was shocked when you told me you were pregnant and feared the same thing, but before I worried you, or myself, I went to Sam with it and he performed a few tests. He tested sperm count and its motility."  
  
"And?" Max asked cautiously.  
  
Logan smiled. "I'm one of the lucky few."  
  
A collective sigh of relief could be heard from both Max and Original Cindy who'd been listening in the entire time silently.  
  
Max smiled, then frowned a second later. "But that doesn't necessarily mean it's yours right?"  
  
Logan leaned back into his chair, and slowly rubbed his hands up and down his thighs.  
  
"Logan?" she asked tentatively, scared again when she got no response.  
  
"No, it's not 100%, but Max think about it! How would Manticore know to impregnate you _then_?" he stressed. "Why would they tell you that you were pregnant? Don't you think that if they were responsible they would have taken instant credit for it by telling you they had impregnated you with a Manticore heir? Renfro would have gloated at such a feat. You said yourself that _our_ baby was considered the control! Why would they say all that and not do any genetic manipulation if it wasn't a natural conception?"  
  
Leaning forward again, he took her hand and kissed it softly. "I know in my heart that this is our baby, and that it happened for a reason. It may have been a complete surprise to both of us, but that doesn't mean I'm going to love him or her any less. And if it had been the case and Manticore was responsible, I wouldn't love you or the child you carried any less than I would my own. I love everything that is you Max."  
  
Max sniffed, and wiped her eyes. Pulling him toward her, she kissed him gently. "Thank you," she whispered.  
  
"You're welcome. But hey, if you hadn't listened to Original Cindy, then we both wouldn't be here. Sure I might not feel my hand for a week, but I think it's worth it for this miracle," he grinned.  
  
Her mouth opened in surprise and looked down at his hand and exclaimed, "I'm so sorry!" She started massaging it until she broke off with a cry of pain.  
  
Logan winced again as her hand tightened on his. But ignoring his pain, he talked calmly to her as she breathed in and out during the contraction. Once she settled down again, she looked at him with a smile on her face.  
  
"I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I know when this kid makes his or her appearance, we're going to know it's your because I bet you that he or she will have your blue eyes."  
  
He chuckled, but shook his head. "No, he or she will have your gorgeous deep brown eyes."  
  
"I guess we'll see then," she replied with a grin. He nodded.  
  
Quietly, Original Cindy stepped out of the room, to leave them alone. They were staring in each other's eyes as realization hit them that indeed they would be parents in a few hours.  
  
**2 Hours Later**  
  
Max looked at the monitor beside her in appreciation. At the moment it said she was having a contraction. "I could get used to this."  
  
Logan looked up at her, raising his eyebrows questioningly. "Somehow I doubt that."  
  
"What? There's no pain. It's great. I don't have to do anything but sit here and wait," she answered with a silly grin on her face. Apparently the epidural combined with all the hormones raging through her had made her oblivious to what exactly she was saying.  
  
"Do me a favor," Logan started.  
  
"What?" she looked at him curiously.  
  
He pointed down the hall. "Go walk down that hall and get some ice chips."  
  
"Why? I can't get the ice chips, I can't," she closed her mouth as realization set in "Oh... I'm so sorry..."   
  
Logan shook his head. "Don't worry. I just wanted you to realize what exactly you were saying. After all...no pain, no gain."  
  
Max looked down at her hands somberly. "How do you do it? Everyday?"  
  
"I look at you when I get up and realize that no matter what I have to deal with everyday, I get to have you in my life and I want that more than anything. More than walking, running, dancing...anything," he said softly, looking her straight in the eye.  
  
"And when you thought I was dead?" she asked apprehensively.  
  
He paused and took a deep breath. "I had to tell myself that I had to keep going because of you, because you would want me to keep going or else you would kick my ass."  
  
Max laughed. "Wow, not only could I not kick your ass if I was indeed dead but you wouldn't feel it." She sobered up and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could have contacted you early on to let you know I was alive...but it was too dangerous."  
  
"I know. You don't have to explain."  
  
"No, I do," Max pressed. "I can't begin to imagine what pain you went through. I had nightmares where you were dead and they devastated me - but that's all they were - nightmares. You had to live for months thinking I was dead. I've been home for almost 5 months now and you haven't told me one word about what you felt or did."  
  
Logan pushed back from the bed and looked at her straight on. "That's because it's a moot point now. You're here, alive. I'm not going to relive the past. It was painful but it doesn't matter because I have you back."  
  
"But our past does matter Logan! It makes us who we are - you're the one who taught me that. Are we just going to forget about those four months and say they never happened? They did! How can we go on with our lives if we never talk about it?!"  
  
"Fine! You want to hear about how I was a mess at the beginning? That Krit and Syl thought they had to baby-sit me because they thought I would kill myself? How I blew up at Lydecker and taunted him into a fight that first night because maybe I wanted to die? How I threw the exo-skeleton across the room, forever damaging it to a point of no repair because I just didn't care if I walked again?"  
  
Max went silent. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's not your fault." Logan hung his head.  
  
"Are you sure you can't fix the exo?"  
  
"Max, that's not the point. I don't care if I'm walking or not. All that matters is you. It took me some time to see that, but it's true. I may never stand up and look you eye to eye, or dance with you across a ballroom floor, or walk our daughter down the aisle-"  
  
"You're assuming it's a girl," Max interrupted with a smile.  
  
"So what if I do?" Logan replied, a smile cracking his exterior. "Maybe I want a little girl as beautiful as you."  
  
"And if it's a boy?" she asked coyly.  
  
"Well I'll teach him how to play basketball, albeit sitting down, and I'm assuming you'll teach him how to kick ass."  
  
"Girls kick ass too. Says so on the t-shirt."  
  
Logan laughed. "Oh, do I ever know that. But what I mean - is that I will love our child, girl or boy. We're going to be a family and I don't want the past to hurt us."  
  
"I'm not sure we'll ever be able to avoid our past," Max pointed out.  
  
"Probably not, but all I want to do is look into the future and hope that nothing, and no one will touch this family. We've been through so much over the past year and I think we deserve a break. Some peace. So I'm sorry if I don't like talking about our past, but that's because I don't want it hanging over our shoulders, bringing us down.  
  
Look, Max. I know you haven't wanted to talk about this. You've been scared of the whole topic - but I love you. We're starting a family and I don't want to lose you. It may just be a formality, especially in today's times..."  
  
"Max, will you marry me?"  
  
Tears spilled from her eye and she quickly wiped them away, but they kept coming anyway. She had been so afraid of this moment months ago, but now that it was here, she was almost relieved. Time heals all wounds she'd been told, and certainly the past few months had done a remarkable amount on her soul and her fears.  
  
Logan continued, not quite sure if they were tears of joy or terror, "This may not be the best time to ask you, but I want you to be my wife. It's not just because we're about to have a baby, but because I love you so much it hurts when you're not with me. We danced around each other for so long, and I regretted that year when I thought I lost you. I don't want to lose another moment.  
  
"If you don't...If you don't want the formality, I'll understand. As long as I still have you in my life." He looked at her expectantly, holding his breath, almost afraid of her answer.  
  
Her lips quivered and she felt the salty tears tingle. "Yes," she whispered.  
  
Logan looked up surprised. "Yes?" he dared to ask.  
  
Max nodded. "Yes, I want to marry you. Yes, I want to be your wife and take your name. I want to be a family. Screw Lydecker and Manticore and even Zack. I want this life with you."  
  
Max was captivated by his smiling eyes that she seemed to miss his effortless transfer to her bed.   
  
He was now sitting on the edge needing her near him. With his free hand, Logan wiped her tears away. He leaned in, first brushing his lips against hers seemingly breathing her in. She was his. She had agreed to be his wife.   
  
"Max?"  
  
"Yes?" He smiled, another yes. "Mind scooting over a little, I feel like I'm going to fall off the bed here".   
  
"Oh! Sorry!" she exclaimed, moving awkwardly, unaccustomed to the effort she had to put in, just to move herself a few inches. She grinned when she saw the look on his face. He was trying to keep his laughter to himself, but unsuccessfully. Shaking her head, she laughed herself. "Sorry," she apologized again, "I think more practice is in order if I want to be quicker at this."  
  
Logan allowed a chuckle to escape. "No, no...don't worry about it Max. I wouldn't ever want you to be used to this. It's just funny seeing the genetically enhanced, ass-kicking girl that I know and love try to scoot a few inches. It's almost a role reversal - which by the way I don't want to happen."  
  
Smiling, he scooted closer and took her face with both his hands. Pulling her face closer, his lips met hers and for a moment nothing else but connecting seem to matter.  
  
Coming up for breath, Max asked with a cute little smile, almost childlike, "So do I finally get jewelry this time?"  
  
Logan grinned in reply and without a word, he leaned over the bed and turned his chair around. Opening the backpack that was hanging on the backrest, he pulled out a small velvet box. Pushing himself back up to a sitting position, he turned towards her with a reserved smile. In a low, strained voice he spoke, "This was my mother's. I managed to get it before my aunt took most of her jewelry. I knew that the one woman that I would love with all my heart unequivocally and without doubt would have this ring. My mother was one of the strongest people I ever knew before you, Max. I know she would have loved you."  
  
Max sniffled, and wiped away the small traces of tears forming at the corners of her eyes. This pregnancy was really making her hormonal. "I would have done without the niceties anyway and taken the ring back from Margo," she joked.  
  
A grin cracked Logan's face and he laughed. "Well I'll save you the trouble." Slowly he opened the box and her eyes lit up when she saw the ring.  
  
"Now my mother's taste in jewelry was anything but normal, and thankfully my father understood that. Today, I couldn't agree more with his choice as I look upon you. It's the fire within you, Max, that I love so much," he proclaimed as he took the ring out and slid it on her finger. The ring was white gold, with a sparkling red ruby offset by diamonds.  
  
"It's gorgeous, Logan. Thank you," she whispered in awe as she held her hand out to admire it. This time she let the tears run their course down her cheeks as she realized how lucky she was to have the total and complete love and devotion of such a man as Logan.  
  
"You'll probably notice that it's not platinum, but my father had decided that he didn't want my mother to nick it while she was cooking all the time. Somehow I don't think he foresaw you when he made that decision, but strangely enough, it's appropriate," he continued with a wry grin.  
  
Max laughed, and wiped away her tears. "Yeah, for a girl who can't keep her nails looking good, I don't think I want to worry about keeping platinum nick-free."  
  
"Exactly," Logan agreed, and leaned in to kiss her, holding her tight. He had been waiting for this day for a long time. There was only one thing left for the day to be complete.  
  
**4 hours later**  
  
"Come on, Max...push!" the doctor coaxed her.  
  
"Are you kidding me?! I can't feel anything!" Max yelled. Her face was red from the strain. It had been almost a half an hour since the doctor had been called in to deliver the baby. But since the epidural had completely numbed all feeling below her waist, she couldn't help the process no matter what she was told to do.  
  
"Shh...it's okay. Max, you're doing great," Logan tried to soothe her. He knew how she felt, but was helpless to do anything about it. There was no miracle solution to the matter, and no tricks he could offer her.  
  
"Almost there. I can see the head," the doctor exclaimed as she gently helped the baby along.  
  
A few minutes later a wail erupted in the room and Max leaned back with a sigh. She turned to look at Logan with a small smile. He was beaming at her in return.  
  
"Congratulations, you have a baby boy," the doctor announced.  
  
A look of shock passed over Logan's eyes, but the grin returned shortly. "We have a son, Max," he whispered. "You did wonderful."  
  
"He better have blue eyes," she replied with an exhausted smile.  
  
"Oh, he has bright blue eyes," a nurse from across the room answered. She was cleaning him up and going through a few reflex tests to quickly make sure he was healthy.  
  
"He's ours."  
  
"Yes, he is Max. I never had a doubt," he replied, squeezing her hand.  
  
"Okay, who gets him first?" the nurse asked, looking between Max in bed and Logan sitting in his chair. Without a word, Logan backed up to let her through to the bed.  
  
Max opened her arms to take the little bundle as the nurse carefully handed him over. Her eyes lit up, amazed at the sight. "He's beautiful. I can't believe we did this." She lowered him so Logan could see him. He reached up and with one finger caressed the baby soft hair on his head.  
  
"So does he have a name?" the nurse asked.  
  
Logan and Max exchanged a glance before Max spoke up.  
  
"Aidan Nathaniel Cale."  
  
With a little rearranging, Logan was up on the bed next to Max, holding Aidan in his arms.   
  
"Welcome to the world, Aidan. It may not be the most perfect place right now, but I hope it'll be your Elysium. A place of bliss, of fun, and of love."  
  
_When the night is still,  
And the sea is calm,  
Lonely shadow, you call upon me.  
  
Lay by my side,   
fear not tonight,  
lonely shadow, you'll find a new light.  
  
Dream a dream  
And see through angel's eyes  
A place where we can fly away.  
  
Ride with me upon a shining star,  
Above the moonlit sky  
We will find Elysium.  
  
**

The End

**_   
  



End file.
